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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my ds dosnt have asd

76 replies

Usernamehistory2225684 · 22/06/2018 21:26

My 2 and a half ur old ds is in the middle of assessment for asd.
He has no words apart from dada ( he lost mama) he understands some like give daddy your shoes etc he gives hugs and kisses his eye contact is poor but better with me. His play is repetitive and can get upset if he’s routine is not the same he still puts things in his mouth he can point to ask and clap when he’s happy. Does he sound like someone with asd?

OP posts:
TisNowt · 22/06/2018 22:05

I know it’s hard but you need to wait and see what the professionals say.

Original poster
Usernamehistory2225684 · 22/06/2018 22:29

He tried to swallow a piece of glass outside today am having a wobble please iam truly sorry if I offended anyone. Asd is not the end of the world and we are very grateful for the speed of our concerns were taken on board

OP posts:
Original poster
Usernamehistory2225684 · 22/06/2018 22:30

We are in Edinburgh

OP posts:
DameFanny · 22/06/2018 22:33

What Lucy101 said.

But ASD isn't a bad thing - he's your son - people want to help you support him - you can do this and he will be fine, honest xx

ALemonyPea · 22/06/2018 22:35

Op, going through an assessment for your child is scary. There is always that glimmer of hope that the professionals are wrong, I certainly felt that way when we were going through it with DS2.

A diagnosis isn’t the end of the world, ASD isn’t a terminal illness. If he does have it, he will still be the same child you are raising, just with an added diagnosis. IME a diagnosis can only help get the support he will need at school, you’re lucky to be getting assessed before he starts school as it’s a different pathway, once they’re at school it’s so much harder.

Good luck 💐

Chocolate1984 · 22/06/2018 22:44

My daughter was an early speaker & has ASD. Everyone is different. It's only now I have another child that Ive realised she had words but not conversation. Asked questions, answer my questions which his the fact she has no social skills.

TheNoodlesIncident · 22/06/2018 22:54

the only thing that makes me think no is the fact that he points. I remember when my asd ds was that age I was told that pointing was an indication that he would not be on the spectrum

The thing about pointing is the way in which it is used - a point from the child to indicate something he believes you have not seen, like an aeroplane in the sky for example, indicates the child's awareness that you are a separate being who does not know something just because he knows it. It is a large developmental leap to make and usually children with ASD are behind in this respect. It isn't the same as the child pointing to say "we go this way" or "I want that one".

Early intervention is key as the brain is at its most "mouldable" in the infant years, so diagnosis at this stage can only help.

elliejjtiny · 22/06/2018 23:01

It's hard to tell from your OP. I have one child who has autism and one being assessed and they are very different. I know it's scary but my eldest has benefited hugely from his diagnosis. He goes to various special needs groups which he loves. With a diagnosis he feels like he is part of a community of people who feel the same way as he does. He is still my little boy (although not so little these days, he will be 12 next month and is nearly as tall as me) but now he has more opportunities and is happier.

My youngest is 4, refuses to sleep and likes to lick hub caps, especially on cars that are moving (he seems to be permanently furious with me for not letting him). So I understand that side of autism too.

sunsunsunsunsun · 22/06/2018 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ittakes2 · 22/06/2018 23:13

My son has high functioning ASD and he is lovely and adorable and I wouldn't change him for the world. He's super affectionate and he is very kind to his friends. AND I am so glad I now know he has ASD - our relationship was very tense beforehand as I thought he was being cheeky to me - but he is just very literal. For example after he played sport and his feet hurt - my husband was rubbing his heels and my husband said "I will give you one more heel rub and then you need to have a shower". My son replied "You need to give me two more heel rubs (ie he has two heels!)". In our minds, one more heel rub implies rubbing two heels...but in my son's mind, one more heel rub means he is only going to have one foot rubbed! I know its scary but since he is so young the specialist must have reasons to assess your son. He may not have it - but if he does - he will benefit from getting support as early as he can. Good luck.

BackforGood · 22/06/2018 23:43

Asd is diagnosed using the Triad of impairment

That is out of date now, and has been for some time.

People prefer to talk about 'differences' rather than 'Impairments' and over recent years the presence of sensory differences adds a 4th aspect to the previous 'triad'.

OP - Like most other posters have answered, none of us can tell you whether your ds does or doesn't have autism. However, the fact that experienced professionals are concerned enough that they would like him to have an assessment, seems to indicate there are enough signs that it is worth looking at in more detail.
Autism also presents very differently in different individuals.

Xmasbaby11 · 22/06/2018 23:48

My dd was an early speaker, no repetitive play and extremely sociable .. but developed other symptoms and was diagnosed with ASD at 5. There is no one definitive symptom - all cases are different. You will just have to allow the professionals to do a thorough assessment.

I was devastated when we first got the dx but it has been a positive thing to know.

PrettyLovely · 22/06/2018 23:52

My son was very slow in his development at the same age couldnt speak, couldnt even point me out from a picture or say my name I was so worried. He has leapt on since.
I strongly recommended using the PEC method in getting him talking it worked absolute wonders for my son, It was like a lightbulb was switched on and his development came on.
When he was assessed the lady said to do it as it always seems to work and it did.
You can buy the pec symbols already made on ebay.

Raven88 · 22/06/2018 23:55

Needing a routine could be a sign of ASD. But it's hard to know.

stopgap · 22/06/2018 23:56

My son was an early speaker, very affectionate, great sense of humour. But he had horrific silent reflux for the first year of his life, was extremely rigid about routine, he had a pragmatic speech delay and was a sensory seeker. He was diagnosed using the ADOS test at age 3.5–“borderline”, according to the assessor.

He’s now nearly 7 and no longer tests on the spectrum. He went through a whole new battery of tests just a couple of months ago. These days he’s an extrovert, confident, funny, smart, has great empathy and has outgrown the sensory issues. I truly believe my son at age 3-4 was ASD, and for whatever reason, I truly believe my son at age 7 is no longer ASD.

We are in the US, so he did have OT and speech twice a week from 3.5-5.5, at first privately and then we got eight hours of services per week for free during pre-K and K. Early intervention is a wonderful thing. Or sometimes children just develop at a slower rate. Unless a child is especially impaired, I think it’s incredibly difficult to diagnose a child of 2 or 3.

Misty9 · 23/06/2018 00:18

If you want to see which aspects are being assessed in ASD then check out the CHAT (checklist for autism in toddlers...or something like that) and see which ones you think he ticks the boxes for.

Ds talked and walked late and now, at nearly 7yo, I'm pretty convinced he has ASD due to his increasing social issues. Ibe been on the fence up until this point.

Have you reached out to support organisations like the national autistic society? There will likely be local support services too and they generally offer support pre-diagnosis too.

zzzzz · 23/06/2018 00:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whinetime89 · 23/06/2018 00:30

I am Speech Pathologist and last week assessed a boy similar. He is affectionate (loves the pressure off hugs-his safe place) but limited language and play and social skills. The good thing is you are onto it early and can begin intervention targeting his delays.

Original poster
Usernamehistory2225684 · 23/06/2018 12:14

Everything else has been ruled out including generic tests which is why we are in the process of assessment for asd

OP posts:
NomNomNomNom · 23/06/2018 12:19

Like others have said it's impossible to say at this point. If a friend described that behaviour in their child and asked what I think might be wrong ASD would be my first guess. I would then recommend friend gets a proper assessment which is what you're doing. Remember that no two children with ASD will be the same and many of them will be fine in one area (e.g. have good eye contact). On the other hand children with no SN sometimes just develop differently then catch up. Good luck.

SoddingUnicorns · 23/06/2018 12:27

Can I pipe up and first of all tell anyone to absolutely steer clear of autism speaks please?

They are a pernicious and dangerous organisation committed to the eradication of autistic people, not supporting us.

Also, Welcome to Holland is about the most offensive piece of literature I’ve seen.

OP it’s a long process and one with lots of emotions, I’ve done it 3 times and am doing it myself now. It’s ok to have conflicting emotions and worries. But please, don’t listen to the links on here recommending autism speaks, they are truly awful and not only advocate but advise terrible “treatments” tantamount to child abuse.

SnailMailTrail · 23/06/2018 12:34

You're in the right hands OP. If they're assessing such a young child then I do think the outcome is likely some sort of delay or autism. I think autism speaks has some good resources. I'm not sure what the previous poster meant about them advocating abusive treatments? My son had fairly intensive early intervention and it's made a world of difference.

SoddingUnicorns · 23/06/2018 12:38

@SnailMailTrail what kind of treatments? Because I’m fairly sure it didn’t involve being pinned down and given a bleach enema? Or being tortured in the name of medical science.

If you don’t know, then find out. Not all treatment is abusive, not all treatment is positive.