To feel so scared re TWINS

[shockedstarling]

Just found out I am carrying twins. They are in the same sac so likely identical. I’m 8 and half weeks.

Only my partner and mum know and both were so excited. But I just can’t see it as good news. I know I should because so far both are healthy but it’s my first pregnancy and I just don’t know if can do this two babies at once. How will we even afford it, let alone how will I manage to care for two at once like that. That said I don’t know if I can go through the alternative either.

Feel stuck, shocked, panicked, so many emotions.

Have anyone of you been through the same thing? Please give me your advice and words of wisdom because I just feel so out of my depth right now.

I've ID twins..They are far easier than my singleton. Chilled out just easy. I feel a fraud as everyone said how did you do it but they enterrain each other the singleton is a bloody whirl wind by comparison.

My first are also ID twins! We found out at our 12 week scan, it was such a shock!! We both panicked, I cried in shock. But that quickly turned to excitement. I loved telling everyone and felt very lucky to be having twins. They are now 8 months old and I wouldn't change it for the world. I won't lie it is hard work, but as they are the first I don't know any different! You quickly get into the swing of things and having two babies is just your normal. On occasion I see my friends with one and think how much easier it must be managing one, but then they don't get to have the joy of having twins. I really do think it's a blessing.
We had only budgeted for one, and now can't afford child care for two, but will figure it out. You can get lots second hand etc.
You're going to love it OP and you will figure it out. The twin world is a very supportive one. Find your local twin clubs, look on Facebook for local groups, go to twins antenatal course, you'll soon meet other twin mums who will help you through! Wishing you all the best OP!

Another who had the fear! You sound like me 2 yrs ago with a few different details. My twins are now 18 months old. It's been an adventure, some of it really stressful, I won't lie but it's also magical and hilarious and like nothing I could ever have imagined. The love is overwhelming sometimes, in a good way. You'll get through the new born phase although you may feel like you won't and have two kids to show for it . Congratulations, it's absolutely amazing.

Twins are hard but utterly fab! My first and only pregnancy was my 18 month old twin girls and before I had my girls I had never been around babies, never changed a nappy, never held a newborn. It was scary but it was fine- I always worked on the principal that it’s never acceptable to break someone else’s child but it’s okay to break your own (that was a joke).

To specifically answer your questions though.....

- did they have to stay in hospital longer/be incubated due to lower birth weights than single babies?

My girls were born at 36+3 and were 5lb9oz and 5lb13oz and they didn’t go to special care as they were perfect. We stayed in hospital for 5 days because of me, not them.

- how did you feed both at once, windboth at once, rock both to sleep etc?

During the the start I combi fed and they typically could wait for one to feed and then the other. If they kicked off at the same time I put one in the crook of each knee and fed both at the same time.
I would wind one at a time and that was always okay.
I never rocked to sleep- we did get two baby bouncers so if they needed settled we could bounce them both- that was a lifesaver.

- how do you carry two around with you?

When they were small I would carry both car seats- there is a way of holding the car seat that is easier on your back (car seat faces backwards, hook your arm into the handle and hold under the bit where the handle attaches so you can have your arms straight down by your side).

Also, google the “kitten hold” that’s a useful way of moving the babies around if you’ve only got one hand!

- do you feel like you were still able to bond with each individually?

Absolutely- you just have to make sure you get some time with each one alone.

To answer your questions

• did they have to stay in hospital longer/be incubated due to lower birth weights than single babies?

Did have low birth weights but weren't kept in because of it. Home within 5 days. Not incubated

• how did you feed both at once, windboth at once, rock both to sleep etc? Breastfeed. Early days one at a time, then tandem. When one at a time put one in a bouncer or on the bed next to me. Used dummies. Wind them one after other. Sleep- use dummies which they settle with mostly, if not just pick up one that's crying.

• how do you carry two around with you? Around the house in the early days I had them in Moses baskets and in the morning just carried one and then the other. Have everything you need in the living room and base yourself there for the day. Now pick them both up together. You can also get twin carriers.

• do you feel like you were still able to bond with each individually?

Yes. I do make a conscious effort to make sure I spend time with both. Feeding them separately (as oppose to tandem) is good for that, but does take more time.

Our twins are 6 now (non-identical girls) and I wouldn’t change them for the world. However, I, like you, was in twin shock and denial the entire way through my pregnancy. I was cross that this wasn’t in my life plan, I was incredibly worried about delivering early and their birth. The pregnancy was hard work but not too bad.
I carried them to 39 weeks and both were mid 6lb-ers and we left hospital less then 24 hours after their arrival (a natural birth). I was far healthier post delivery than after my first pregnancy.
My husband and I had already decided to bottle feed them before they arrived (after a horrible experience with my first). We shared feeding through the night - took one child each (woke and fed them both at the same time). We were also driven by routine which I think saved our skin. We had to be more relaxed as it was not possible to hold and jiggle two babies to sleep at the same time without spare sets of hands. We just didn’t sweat the small stuff in the same way.
They were the happiest and most joyful babies and are now the same as young girls. They have truly completed our family.
I feel incredibly lucky now too as friends that have gone on to have another child are still in the baby years whereas we got our three daughters in during a two year window and are now reaping the benefits of having older and more independent children whilst our friends are still potty training their youngest!
Best of luck.

I am an identical twin and while I imagine it was hard for my mum, she said we entertained each other when we got older, which made things easier on her. I never remember not having someone to play with or feeling lonely as a child, not once. My sister is my best friend in the whole world, always has been, always will be. She is a part of me in a way I can't describe and I know her like i know myself. Being the same age meant we were into the same things and brought each other along with walking and talking when we were little, and later we helped each other with school work, because we were in the same classes. Just trying to give you a different perspective, take care and be kind to yourself.

I am a twin and it’s the best thing ever!!!

I haven't answered your questions about birth weight and hospital stay as mine were non id and a completely different scenario and not relevant. I would like to say though, BE KIND TO YOURSELF. In my case breastfeeding just didn't work and we had to bottle feed. My previously pristine house became absolute chaos. I had to adjust my expectations. Babies got fed and housework didn't get done but once I'd embraced the chaos it was fine x

I cried in the scan room when I found out. Scan person was .

Totally normal

Chill, take it as it comes, do what you can to make it easy for yourself.

Take it easy, feet up and get over the shock first.

Thanks everyone. Apparently they are mono-amniotic which means they share the same sac. I should probably stay off google as all I’ve done is scare myself even more reading that this type is rare and high risk. Booked to see midwife next week so hopefully they will tell me more. Were any of your twins mono-amniotic? If so is there anything you can tell me about it?

Thanks all.

Mine were born at 37+4, no nicu time, my lb was in a hot cot as he was cold when he was born?

Mine was a scheduled c section as they were both transverse. I had to have two steroid injections for lung development

L
They both had a touch of jaundice when they were born but that went quickly

She was 6.15lb
He was 5.5lb

He had low (not super low) blood sugar. He had trouble latching. I had to bf every three hours (as in 12,3,6 etc) as he was not latching (falling asleep) my dh fed him formula

Managed to bf exclusively when they were 7 days old👍🏻👍🏻

I fed them both rugby ball style on a v cushion

Low birth weight isn’t necessary a given - I know someone who has non-ID twins and one was 10lbs at birth!

Necessarily*

Ive got twins they just turned 1 year old.

IT WONT BE AS BAD AS YOU THINK.

That’s the main thing I’d say.

It certainly is draining for the first few months. You’ll need to seriously lower your expectations from life for a bit. But after a few months things will come together really well. They’ll synchronise their needs and routines, and the work will reduce quite a lot.

It sounds weird, but it doesn’t feel like have 2 babies on account of how similar and synchronised their needs are. Maybe 1.5 babies!

You’ll manage. You will. I absolutely adore my twins and I don’t for a second regret having them. They’re so freaking cute together, and they’re lovely wee babies. By virtue of having a constant companion they’re much more sociable than their 4 year old brother ever was.

Good luck!

My boys were born at 37+4.
I had an unplanned, but not emergency c-section after a long labour which got to 9cm then stopped for a couple of hours!!
Twin 1 was 7lb 4oz and Twin 2 was 7lb and half an oz!! We were in for a couple of days as was standard post-section then. Tried to BF but it didn’t work so I formula fed both and they have thrived. They’re 10 now and it has been a great decade

OP monoamniotic twins are higher risk but these things are all relative - remember the vast vast majority of births are just fine.

I had a vaginal birth which in terms of pain et c was fine but if you are scared ask about elcs.

T1 had a low birthweight and they spent 2w in nicu, but you know what? it was fine really. He is now on 2nd centile, feeds well and v v smiley.

You can get twin slings but we use a buggy.

I am bf with 1 bottle a day and haven't mastered tandem so I feed on sofa, one next to me with dummy in and one feeding, then swop. Tis fine.

Honestly I also have a 3yo and although it is hard it is doable.

Thank you for posting about your worries, I’ve just found out I am expecting twins. I’m only just over 6 weeks gone, I was given a scan yesterday as I had pains and they were cautious as I have had a previous miscarriage so I was very shocked to find out that I’m now expecting two babies. It’s early days but my now ex boyfriend wants me to have an abortion and says he won’t support me. These babies will be my first and I feel so lost and scared and I’m sorry to hijack your post but you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed. I’m sure we can get through it