To ask how on earth you deal with an itchy fanjo when out in public?!

[MrsGideon]

I'm currently sitting on a packed train with a severely itchy fanjo and I think people are starting to notice me suddenly sitting bolt upright and wiggling

I'm desperate to have a good old scratch but think it might raise some eyebrows

HOW do you cope with this in public?!

In that case you definitely need to woman-spread and have a good old rummage while you’re at it!

Guy from Diversity hahahahahaha

You've a table to hide behind. Go for it.

Strangers who already looked at me disapprovingly for daring to want the absolute minimum legroom

Exactly. Their opinions clearly don't matter.

And honestly, many men scratch their balls openly, don't they?

Be cool/calm (or put on your sunglasses), sit up straight, take out your mobile and read something (Mumsnet)

And then lift your other hand and casually scratch the offending area.

They'll either understand or aren't worth your attention. ;)

Best thing to do is scratch it by vigorously rubbing it up and down against the nearest man's leg/seat end/suitcase whatever is to hand or fanny

Isn't that the guy from Diversity

Bah ha ha ha ha, that's hilarious

Have a good scratch and mutter loudly about "bloody crabs". Will solve the manspreading problem at least.

I'd have snapped and farted if the itch was thst bad

Chances are you won't see them again, just stick your hand down your waist band lean back, and have a bloody good, five fingered scratch.

@brizzledrizzle Anyone who posts that clip is a friend of mine

Can you stick a biro up there for a quick scratch? Or a hairbrush/toothbrush? Then glare at them until they avert their eyes if being so rude to gawp at what you’re up to?!

Self-Id as a man, it's Friday after all.

I would go to the toilet or squeeze my thighs together whilst moving my pelvis.

This cracked me up so much I feel your pain, I nearly did the splits trying to inconspicuously remove a wedgie the other day at work!

@JELLYFISHANDCHIPS 🤣🤣🤣 snapped and farted still making appearances! I made my
Husband read bits of the thread few days ago haha

Don't get me wrong, I've been known to scratch a boob when the need takes me, but there's something a bit too... intimate about getting your hands all up in your grill in pubic er I mean public

I actually nearly got caught out the other day in the lift at work because I hoiked up my dress to pull down my tshirt hem underneath and the doors started opening before I'd managed to make myself decent again

Thank goodness no one was in reception or they would have got a full on view of my be-knackered bottom

Autocorrect fail 😂 it is pretty knackered to be fair

Identify the man who believes himself to be the most "Alpha".

Fix gaze and scratch with vigour to assert dominance.

Fix gaze and scratch with vigour to assert dominance.

Is it possible to sort of "itch" them with your legs?

I'd be embarrassed to actually scratch at it in public. If it was awful I'd go to the loo.

I’d say get up have a scratch in the loo and then figure out WHY it’s so itchy... lots of reasons and all manageable. My sympathies MrsG

I would scratch it.

Next time drop your mobile and have good scratch while your bending under table. Or have coughing fit lean over table and put other hand on lap and go for it!

@TheSausageEmperor glad to hear it

Pelvic floor exercises distract me.