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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have ranted at this professional dog-walker?

222 replies

Collaron · 22/06/2018 17:24

Beautiful day here today, went for a picnic and dog-walk with a friend. We were sitting at the picnic table in the woods, ddog under the table waiting for any crumbs or sneaky titbits. A dog-walker passes on the path with a flock of dogs - 7 in all - and one of them, a young spaniel runs over to our table and starts jumping around at me trying to get my sandwich. Dog walker call to the dog 'come here' but it doesn't come. I tell it sternly to 'get down!' I hate dogs jumping up but I was also worried that ddog might get defensive at it (it was obviously quite a young dog)
Dog then climbs on to the seat next to me and tries to snaffle food from the table. I get hold of the dog's harness and pull it back to the ground again saying sternly 'get down!' while glaring at the walker who is just staying put with his flock and calling out 'come here' in a lame way.

Finally the dog runs back to him and i'm turning back to my friend when the man calls out in a sarcastic tone 'okay now? Panic over is it?'
I turned back to him and said 'you should have your dog under control'.
him: He is under control!
me: You called it and it didn't come so it isn't under control is it? You shouldn't be walking so many when you can't control them.
him: oh for god's sake, i'm sick of people like you telling me my job! Your dog's perfect is it?
me: no he's not perfect but he's under control. When i call him he comes back to me!
him: (walking away, calling out) yeah, you're perfect aren't you
me: (shouting after him) you couldn't even apologise!
him: (turning back) why should I apologise? He didn't do anything you stupid woman!
me: He was jumping all over me you stupid git!
him: (walking away again) oh push off!
me: (shouting after him) I wouldn't let you walk my dog, you're not a responsible person!
him: I wouldn't accept your dog you stupid woman!
He walked away still gobbing off but I couldn't hear him any more

If he hadn't come out with the sarky comment I would have left it but I felt goaded to retaliate. Once he was gone I would have forgotten all about it but friend went very quiet and said she wanted to get back home. I apologised for the shouting and she said she was embarrassed and perhaps I had 'anger issues'.

Actually I do have anger issues but in this case I think I was justified?

OP posts:
VioletCharlotte · 22/06/2018 17:51

He sounds like a complete dick. I'm an owner of a spaniel who has been known to behave like this on occasion Blush But I would have been straight over to grab him a and would have been hugely apologetic.

Do you know his trading name? Maybe shame him on your local Facebook page? I would want to know if someone who walked my dog was like this.

Original poster
Collaron · 22/06/2018 17:51

I would really like to be calm ikea, must be nice not to react to this crap as there is so much of it to react to day to day! I come from a very argumentative family and have never managed to break the habit

deadgood I trained my dog to react to my voice commands. This idiot was calling the dog so presumably expected the same? All dogs should know a basic command like 'get down'

OP posts:
spongebunnyfatpants · 22/06/2018 17:52

I'm pretty sure that dog walkers are only allowed to have four dogs at a time. Can you look out for his Facebook page and report him to the council as he may not be registered.

DeadGood · 22/06/2018 17:54

DragonMummy1418 it was a young spaniel.
I live by an extremely popular london park full of picnics and dogs. Dogs trying to get at my food happens all the time. Meh. It just doesn’t bother me, I wouldn’t dream of glaring at anyone.
It’s ok, clearly I’m alone on this one, I just think the OP reacted badly and her friend agrees.

Original poster
Collaron · 22/06/2018 17:54

I would have liked to find out his trading name but we were quite a way from the car park and I was too far from him to read the licence thing round his neck (didn't want to get any closer!)

Yeah, I know flock isn't the correct term, I just like it! Grin

OP posts:
ErictheGuineaPig · 22/06/2018 17:54

I'm intrigued deadgood. What should op have done that was more 'dog friendly'? Let it eat her food? Let it jump up at her? It wasn't just wanting to hop up on the seat and say hello, it was trying to steal the food they were eating.

I think the dog walker was definitely in the wrong here - and the one with the anger issues. He was rude to you when he was in the wrong, he was the first to call names. You didn't chase him down for an argument, he was provoking you.

Blostma · 22/06/2018 17:56

A dog walker with that attitude ruined our last ever walk with our Ddog. She let a boxer harass her constantly and was never closer than 100m from the dog. I have met her socially, and she is so full of her amazing dog training skills it infuriated me.

It was years ago now and I still feel a rage brew whenever I see her.

Original poster
Collaron · 22/06/2018 17:57

DeadGood as I said in the op if he hadn't made the sarky comment I would have left it there. I'm well used to other people's dogs coming up to me but they are just ordinary dog-owners like me. When someone is making a living from dog-walking I expect a much higher standard of responsible behaviour - this guy was rude and defensive and an arse.

My friend didn't think the man was in the right at all, just hated the confrontation.

OP posts:
DragonMummy1418 · 22/06/2018 17:58

I have a big dog, she is very excitable around other dogs, if this happened to me she would have been all over this dog wanting to play... if the dog had jumped up at me (I am pregnant) or my DS then my dog would have gone for the other dog straight away, she is very protective of the kids.
My dog is always under control and on the lead so that would have been the other dog owners fault.

The 'professional' dog walker should have known better.

Original poster
Collaron · 22/06/2018 17:59

4 dogs max for dog walkers?? If that's true then practically every pro dog-walker I encounter is breaking the rules!

OP posts:
Willow2017 · 22/06/2018 17:59

I would expect a dog off the lead to respond to commands.
I would have no qualms getting a dog off me or my seat when it was trying to steal my food and slobbering all over it and me.
Likewise I wouldnt tolerate my own dog being harrassed by another dog off the lead.

If you have a dog keep it under control, its not my job to control it for you and I dont have to put up with your dog jumping on me, scratching me, getting me dirty or trying to steal my food.

Botanicbaby · 22/06/2018 18:00

I think YABU as the confrontational way you dealt with it has let you down, even if he was initially in the wrong. All that ‘shouting after him’ when he was walking away is just cringeworthy. I’d have wanted to leave too so not surprised your friend felt this way. Sounds like you’re so inured to this type of response that you can’t see how it comes across to others in that you’d have forgotten all about it & just carried on as if nothing had happened.

All this others comments about people using dog walkers when they should walk their own is ridiculous, there’s a myriad of reasons people use them,eg illness, give dog even more walks than they already get, tire them out when they’re with a pack, help them socialise etc.

phlewf · 22/06/2018 18:00

Actually I’ve changed my pet peeve. It’s people who think the stern voice and firm action (harness grab) isn’t ok. To be in charge of a dog you need to be in charge. I’m not talking about hitting or yanking and I believe in positive training. I’m not talking about be aggressive AT ALL but firm.

supersop60 · 22/06/2018 18:01

YWNBU. Dogs don't speak English, but they understand tone and body language. You were quite right to deal with the dog in the way you did, but maybe a bit U to get into a slanging match with dick dog walker.
His reaction was all guilt btw.

kikashi · 22/06/2018 18:02

He was being a d**k and your friend sounds like she overreacted too in making you feel bad - is she a a person who can't cope "with negative vibes". Don't over think it - move on.

Pancakeflipper · 22/06/2018 18:04

His comment about him being sick of people telling him how to do his job indicates to me members of the public have had words with him before.

How can anyone keep 7 dogs under full control in a public place if off the lead?

JessieMcJessie · 22/06/2018 18:06

Pack I think rather than flock 😀. He sounded like a twat and did the classic thing that people do when they are in the wrong- he went on the defensive. The very fact that he was so twatty shows he knew he was wrong.

FairfaxAikman · 22/06/2018 18:08

Off topic, but my dog would not react to "get down" - because it's the wrong command for what you were asking. I and a lot of others that I know use "off" as get down is too close to "down" (meaning lie down).

Anyhoo, based on your version of events YWNBU - dog walkers like this give responsible ones a bad name

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 22/06/2018 18:10

You are not BU!

It's a big worry if a dog walker can't handle his dogs and is rude about it.
I would jump on my local social media and have a rant against him. The more details you can give, the easier people will find it to identify him.

If I was the owner of the dog, I would be fuming.

daffodillament · 22/06/2018 18:10

I love dogs and actually wouldn't have minded this at all. Prob would have had a little giggle while I got hold of dogs harness and walked him back to the dog owner. Dogs do this. It wasn't his dog so you can't blame him for dogs lack of discipline and he had his hands full by the sounds of it. Trying to make a living. I think you sound like a miserable old dog. Grrrrrr. Grin

daffodillament · 22/06/2018 18:11

Dog walker I mean.

Original poster
Collaron · 22/06/2018 18:12

Pancakeflipper I thought that later on - so annoying when you don't think of the perfect response at the time!

OP posts:
DeadGood · 22/06/2018 18:13

“I'm intrigued deadgood. What should op have done that was more 'dog friendly'? Let it eat her food? Let it jump up at her? It wasn't just wanting to hop up on the seat and say hello, it was trying to steal the food they were eating.”

I’ve answered this already - I’d have held the dog but not spoken to it harshly, or glared at the walker.

If you are already physically restraining the dog, there’s no need to issue commands anyway. Just all seems harsh to me.

OP I’m sure your friend didn’t think the man was in the right, no right-thinking person would. As I’ve said all along, he was a dick. But it’s not a binary thing - just because he was in the wrong it doesn’t put you in the right.

I think your friend is being a little delicate, but yes I think I’d be taken aback by your reaction.

Anyway, not trying to ruffle feathers. I’ll be off now. (On that note, I also like “a flock of dogs” Grin)

jetSTAR · 22/06/2018 18:14

I think you were well entitled to get the dog away from you and your food as you did. I would have done that too. But I wouldn’t have ranted at him because I’m not brave enough.

His comment about him being sick of people telling him how to do his job indicates to me members of the public have had words with him before. exactly pancakeflipper

Original poster
Collaron · 22/06/2018 18:16

fair enough DeadGood Smile

OP posts: