To find phone calls on the train really annoying

[Ninmpy]

Person sat next to me, taking loudly about the most boring and inane stuff. I've got a long way from London to Glasgow and only just started and I want to tell her to stfu.

I miss when mobiles were expensive to call!

I don't mind people talking hopefully not too loudly, but thats fine by me. But the phone thing is SO intrusive.

See, this I find weird - but I know it must be me, because it's very, very common to feel this way about phones. I find a phone conversation and a face-to-face conversation in my presence equally distracting, with the volume being the only thing that makes either more/less annoying. So if people are talking louder on phones then that's more annoying. But lots of people seem to find the phone inherently worse, and I don't know why.

I think Margaret its because there's no need for them to take place next to you in the first place. If two people are on a train, obviously they'll probably chat. But a person on their own, why would they? Its showing a complete selfishness - people around might be staring out the window relaxing, or reading a book, they don't want the distraction of someone talking for no reason (except boredom). ITs like a sense of privacy is gone (theirs and yours). The person next to them is nothing more than wallpaper and the person on the phone sometimes has such private conversations (sex, work secrets etc), its almost as if other people don't exist. I really like relaxing and looking at the window on the train and when someone starts arguing for half an hour with Thames Water next to me, or talking about their latest health scare, family bereavement, etc etc (I've heard all these in last month) its quite disturbing.

I agree with a PP that a lot of these loud, needless phone calls stem from a sense of self-importance. I’ve been at a restaurant where someone was very loud on the phone talking about NOTHING for an hour and clearly thinking he sounded extremely cool. Same with a women in the park yesterday holding her phone in the Apprentice style and yelling into it. Of course a certain noise level is to be expected anywhere in public but having a long phone conversation around other people is inconsiderate. Same as if I just wanted to start singing out loud to amuse myself.

Tis a bit annoying but at least you know it should have a natural end. As for electronic sound without headphones - now that's what I call really selfish and entitled

I hate it too, but sometimes have to take or make calls on the train, as my commute is counted as part of my working day if it's to an office other than my standard one. I try to keep calls to a minimum and advise that I can't talk about confidential matters, but I often cringe at myself using the phone because I am annoyed by others.

I love them. But I'm nosy and like bitching away about them on twitter or pulling subtle faces with my children.

I don't care about what you are thinking about having for dinner you mouthbreather.

YANBU, OP, I hate them too.

I was on the train today. The woman next to me said " if you've used that knife to stab him again , there will be trouble " . Could feel the whole carriage waiting to know who what where. Turns out her boys were home ill and playing pirates with foam knives.

Any really loud, long conversations are annoying. But somehow worse when you only hear one half!

I think people should keep it to a minimum of the calls they need to make, not as a way to entertain themselves on the train.

They are always incredible inane conversations. Or equally boring ones about people's work, which could also be confidential. Then you get the abusive conversations which are the worst!

IME public transport is always loud.

I don't particularly see the difference between a phone call and a conversation. I wouldn't call a long phone call "antisocial", either You're on a train to get somewhere, not make friends!

YANBU to hate loud people on public transport in general though. Obviously complete silence is unreasonable, but I'd imagine polite people would at least keep their voices down!

Depends on the conversation content.whats for dinner,is inane
I was once sat next to a man replying well I’ll say nuffin.no comment.what me brief said
Made sure I made no eye contact, nothing to get him going

It's the people who can't understand that they have no signal and so spend 30 minutes repeatedly calling someone, being cut off, calling them back, commenting about the lack of signal, being cut off....

That and the woman who sat opposite me last week and talked non-stop for an hour. FFS.

It is super annoying people speak loudly. I don't mind quieter calls. The ones who annoy me the most are the people who I feel perform to the train. Although I do find it amusing sometimes so can't complain too much.

I actually have a funny story about this. Once I'd been to a supplier meeting in London and I was on the train home and could hear a familiar voice chatting loudly on the phone sat on the table seat a few rows back from me about how he was going to walk this deal and how he had been the strongest negotiator on the room. He then started talking about me and it was along the lines of 'Johnnys A weak negotiator. Realistically the lowest we can go is £60 per unit, but she will bite for £100, I will make a killing in commission'. I sat there quietly writing down all the little bits of information I could gather. When I got to my stop I stood up and purposefully walked past him. His face was a picture. If anyone's interested we got them for £45 😂 I was never going to pay £100 for them the market value of the item is between £50-60. I knew he was a twat the moment I met him.

I think it's unreasonable to object to a phone call unless you're in the quiet carriage. What's the difference between a phone call and a conversation? Unless you expect everyone to sit in absolute silence, I don't think you've got cause to complain about phone calls.

If you want to control what you hear on a train, take noise cancelling earphones and listen to what you want.

Johnny

"I think it's unreasonable to object to a phone call unless you're in the quiet carriage. What's the difference between a phone call and a conversation?"

Two things here.

Firstly, both are annoying if they are unreasonably loud, but people on the phone tend to be louder because they think (often correctly) that they need to speak more loudly to be heard, compared to having a conversation with the person next to them.

Secondly, I think this "unreasonable to object to noise" point of view is arse upwards. You're on public transport. You're not in your own home, or in a public park or even walking down the street. You're in a space where you are surrounded by members of the public, who are often trapped in your company whether they like it or not. Even if they are in a position to move to a carriage, this means they have to physically get up and take all their stuff with them, and hope that (a) they find another seat, and (b) someone else doesn't start doing the same thing in the place they have just moved to.

By talking loudly on the train - whether on the phone or in person - or making any other kind of noise which is more than minimal and/or lasts more than a couple of minutes, you're forcing the people around you to listen to you, whether they like it or not.

People should give some thought to the people around them, as well as the general noise levels of the environment they are in, and be more considerate.

The fact that so many people are inconsiderate twats these days that it has become commonplace is neither here nor there.

thor86

I think the difference is twofold: firstly, people speak more loudly when on the phone than they would in person. Secondly, someone being on the phone means they don’t need to be having the conversation then and there.

johnnykarate

Brilliant story!

@findthegap - good for you!

I once called one of those very important businesswomen out on her phone calls. She made six or seven calls in a row where she was bellowing down the phone about work, like, "YES, I'VE LOOKED AT THE SPREADSHEET AND I'VE JIGGLED THE FIGURES AROUND FOR ITALY AND SWITZERLAND....SORRY, JUST WENT THROUGH A TUNNEL! SO I WAS LOOKING AT THE SPREADSHEET..."

This went on and on, so eventually as she was dialling the number for her next call I said, "Excuse me, where are you travelling to?" and she said, "Bournemouth, why?" and I said, "Are you planning on doing that all the way there?"

She stopped doing it after that and I got similar appraising looks from the other passengers who were clearly also as bored as fuck with it.

But that was back in the day, I was 19 and still can't quite believe I said that to her and that it worked. I don't think it would work anymore because so many people think it's acceptable to treat the train like an extension of their office and subject everyone else to their boring phone calls that they would think I was being wholly unreasonable for even raising it.

So unfortunately these days I tend to just sit there and seethe, or move to another carriage.

I don't particularly see the difference between a phone call and a conversation.

Because people on their phones are always louder and many adopt a phone voice that is irritating as all hell. This happened the last time we went to the UK. We were on the train from London to Edinburgh, had splurged for first class, and the man sitting directly behind me was talking on the phone nearly the whole time, very loudly and sometimes angrily. If I had been in my own country, I would have asked him to stop, but, as a foreign visitor, I didn't want to cause any unpleasantness.

Secondly, someone being on the phone means they don’t need to be having the conversation then and there.

I don't really get this logic. I can imagine plenty of phone calls that could be pretty urgent or need to be held at a particular time, whereas two people sat together on a train and talking are almost certainly having idle social chitchat.

But lots of people seem to find the phone inherently worse, and I don't know why.

Research has been done to find out why. Our brains process one-sided conversations differently and find them much, much harder to tune out.

Likewise with electronic noises - much harder to tune out than 'organic' noises. This is why most people find it more irritating to have someone at the next table playing Peppa Pig on an iPad than someone on the next table having a conversation.

Agree, and a lot of people on calls talk just that little bit too loudly - so you can’t escape..

Also they’re usually very dull calls, no exciting gossip you can at least be entertained by if you’re forced to be an audience in their play!!

Research has been done to find out why. Our brains process one-sided conversations differently and find them much, much harder to tune out.

Fair enough - mine doesn't, for whatever reason. I wonder whether that might be age related, too - I'm in my mid-30s, so not that young, but mobile phone conversations have been something I've been used to in public for my whole adult life (I just looked it up and, horrifyingly, that Dom Joly big phone sketch is now 18 years old, so I was 16). I wonder whether you find it more grating if you see it as a new thing?

johnny that's brilliant.

I do agree about performing passengers!