AIBU to consider divorce because it just feels wrong?

[mademybed123]

I've named changed for this. Been married 10 years, two DC.

Our relationship started with me fancying him and us getting together. We have always been friends but the romance side has always been a bit lacking. Sex has always been limited in scope, and very little affection otherwise. We have always been like friends who occasionally sleep together.

I always sort of get a feeling he did me a favour, and can often put me down about not being competent. I get teased about my weight, my ability with money and a few other things, to the point that our oldest joins in. And I don't like that.

I don't feel desirable, never have, no compliments.

But, we have two children, a nice lifestyle and I'm not desperately unhappy, I just don't know if I should spend the rest of my life feeling like I could have something more. Someone who is mad about me. Or maybe even being alone would be ok.

I feel at the moment that I am crossing a line with a friendship that I have online, it's never going to be anything more than online due to location and ages, but it's made me think that I would cheat possibly if the right person came around because they make me feel like I'm wanted.

I don't know what to do.

Sorry to hear this, op. I would say don't cross the line with the friendship for a start. You owe it to yourself to come out of this with your integrity in tact.
The putting you down (esp. In front of your DCs) is unacceptable and needs to stop. Tell him that.
Do you work or have any hobbies? It sounds like it would really help you to gain more confidence in spending time with other people outside of the house.
Start pulling away from your H, develop a teflon coating where he is concerned, in preparation for leaving. If he does actually love you, value you, appreciate you it should become apparent fairly quickly.
You deserve better.

thanks, yes I do work and I do have hobbies, so I do feel competent in other ways, I just feel like this with him.

We feel like friends, and then if he wants sex he gropes me and that's foreplay. He doesn't even touch anything other than my breasts (TMI sorry) so it's hard to feel sexy.

Talk to him about how you feel. Some people ( me included when I was younger) expect their partners to know what they like,what upsets them etc. Try couples counselling?