To wonder why some people have a running commentary on everything

[TheActualRealCinderella]

New lady in the office. She seems to have to share out loud every thought that pops into her head.

‘Ooh, the computer’s just starting up , should I have a tea or a coffee. I think I’ll have a biscuit too... ok 20 emails a busy start, one from vista print, don’t need that, delete, I’ll reply that one later, oh, ‘dear Jane, when can you send the invoice ... I’ll say dear John, I will try and do that on Friday.’ This is the first two minutes of the day.

The worst bit - the manager is like this too, probably why ‘Jane’ was hired.

Its like chewing with your mouth open. We don’t need to get involved with your internal processes.

Haha farter if what you said and your username go together, this would make you very unpopular in an office scenario.

I, however, would get along with you just fine. I love a good chatterbox and toilet humour gets me every time (I'm very mature like that)

I'm always incredibly amused by people like this. I've developed a bit of a filter though and seem to be able to block and ignore whilst remembering to occasionally nod and grunt if I need to. Mostly I just chuckle to myself.

Also heard this at a beach restaurant last week. Couple who didn't chat but stared at everything and everyone around them and commentated on life. LOUDLY. The other just nodded:

Oh look she's got a pushchair with three wheels.
That dog looks happy
He's smoking one of them puffing things Steven. Keith has one of them
Hee hee! They've been waiting a while to cross the road
They've put a treatment on that wood railing now
They have two highchairs in here

Etc etc.

Some brilliant writing on this thread. Let’s write a play!!!

I work from home, on my own. I could never cope with working with that going on!

Could you just ask her to be quiet? Or a "I just need to concentrate right now, [X]..."

OMG, I had a member of staff like this, fortunately I managed to phase her out and she left, I would've murdered her by now if not!

I narrate my own life - but only to myself. I try not to do it out loud when other people are present.

For me, it's a hangover from having lots of small children, when you have to keep up a monologue of 'I'm just going to the toilet, I won't close the door, it's all right, no, your sister is sleeping so you don't have to come with me. Well you can come upstairs but don't make any noise, oh, where did we put your duck?' kind of thing, just to stop the stream of 'where are you going? What are you doing? Can I come too?' questions.

My DD2 can be like that. (She’s nearly 12...) We frequently have to interrupt her and say...”Honey... HONEY! Honey... BREATHE!!!)

I teach a primary class of 29 children. Over half have this self- narration habit. They constantly witter on at each other all day about nothing and it drives me mad! Ssh and do some work!

Balab if I ever write a play, I'll include my stepmother as a character with a very Stanislavsky-esque running monologue about the most banal of things

Some people just aren't happy unless a noise of some sort is coming out of their mouth!

This is something that elderly couples - on the bus - have down to a fine art.

'I see the Dog and Gun's changed hands again'
'These verges could do with cutting'
'So much traffic on the roads these days'
'I thought that woman on the zebra crossing was our Elsie'
'These youngsters out of school already'
'There's an ambulance coming'

And so on. The elderly male will be wearing a beige jacket and flat cap and will be sporting one hearing aid. His wife will be equally sensibly dressed and be bathed in Poison perfume.

I fucking hate this. There’s only one thing worse, and that’s people who do it, but occasionally break off and say ‘you’re very quiet, aren’t you?

To which my stock reply is ‘Well, someone has to be!’ (Big fake grin, internally imagining what kind of terrible ‘accident’ could befall them.)

I’m sorry to hear I’m not the only one. I can’t wear headphones as the role requires many phone calls and interaction with other colleagues.

Just shut the fuck up. Mary and Joseph. No one cares about what your cat can do.

The worst part is that she is so ignorant. She happily admitted she ‘did not pay any attention at school’.

• she did not know Britain had had a female prime minister
• what continent Venezuela is on
• she proudly admitted she has never wanted to travel outside her hometown. She has been to a nearby city once or twice but sticks to a 20 mile radius of where she was born. Despite this she manages to know or have an opinion on every subject.

I have a colleague (who I actually really like, so I suppose that helps) who 'thinks out loud'.

Now, they aren't going to stop, so rather than get pointlessly annoyed about it and wind myself up, I reframed it as a psychological experiment into other people's thought processes (which are, as I always suspected, mostly batsh*t insane).

Hope that helps!

Thistle - I will try that tomorrow. Thanks .

@TheActualRealCinderella - hope it helps! If nothing else, it will hopefully give you a giggle.

I have an elderly friend who tells me on WhatsApp everything she and her husband do. I’m still in bed, I’ve just got up. I’m going to shower ! Drives me crazy !!! She even sends photos of their meals ! I don’t want to offend her but one of these days .....

I have a radio. Right next to my head to drown this very thing out. Endless monologues about stuff that only needs a one or two word answer. I try not to engage.

The dreaded 'Stream of Consciousness' ..... [boak]

@IsaidMrDarcynotArsey

If you can’t beat them join them

“Listen to Jane! talking again,
every detail - about her email,
gonna make sure that - I sound like cat in the hat,
when I speak any time - gonna do it in rhyme”

See how long it takes them to notice!

DP has a related condition in which anything I am doing is compulsorily mentioned "Oh, you're doing the washing up" arrrrrrggghhhhhhhh.
Get mortally offended if I give a sarcastic answer.

I’ve also been “told off” for being “too quiet” in office jobs and told I should talk more. People can’t win.