Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Is it ok to take a cake?

25 replies

LadyRussell · 21/06/2018 20:18

I may be overthinking this.

Been invited to bday BBQ.

Very old friend and his wife and we are staying ON as too far away.

Is it ok to bake a cake to take as a thank you?

Worried I might step on the wife’s toes as she might have made one - or can you never have too much?

OP posts:

NomNomNomNom · 21/06/2018 20:20

I personally would never be offended by extra cake. Obviously you wouldn't present it as the birthday cake though.

GooodMythicalMorning · 21/06/2018 20:20

Cake is gooood

MarklahMarklah · 21/06/2018 20:21

It's a lovely idea. Perhaps go with making a tray bake, fairy cakes/cupcakes or something obviously not birthday cake-ish.

dontticklethetoad · 21/06/2018 20:22

As long as you make it a very un-birthday cakey cake?

Notthatwomanagain · 21/06/2018 20:22

Actually do you know if it’s a birthday party I wouldnt take anymore cake as chances are they will have a bday cake and that usually sits around for a while as it is.
They might feel awkward not handing yours out as you’ve made it but have spent time/money on the actual bday cake and want to use it.

I’d go with a bottle of bubbly tbh

LuMarie · 21/06/2018 20:24

I only need to read the title to have a response.

Yes. Yes it is always good to take cake!

Everyone takes cake and if you bake it then it's really thoughtful with the effort put it.

Lovely idea

Myotherusernameisbest · 21/06/2018 20:24

No I wouldn't take cake if it's a birthday BBQ. I would if it was as a normal one iyswim. As you're staying over I'd take some bubbly or posh chocs and a nice bunch of flowers.

Original poster

LadyRussell · 21/06/2018 20:24

I will take bubbly anyway - maybe make scones and take jam? I some clotted cream in the fridge unopened...?

OP posts:

AgathaRaisinsCat · 21/06/2018 20:26

I think scones would be lovely.

Myotherusernameisbest · 21/06/2018 20:26

Scones, clotted cream and jam sounds like a winner!

TroubledLichen · 21/06/2018 20:28

Actually if it’s a birthday party chances there will already be quite a bit of cake with leftovers to spare. If you know they would enjoy it then a nice bottle of champagne and some flowers would be better. And if you really want to make something then ask the host if there’s anything you can cook at home and bring with you. But I definitely wouldn’t bring cake.

imnottoofussed · 21/06/2018 20:28

Or meringue nests/ pavlova instead as that's a bit more barbecuey

TroubledLichen · 21/06/2018 20:28

Sorry x posted, scones sound fab!

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 21/06/2018 20:29

No cake please. I have had this happen as the host although the guest did want their cake to also be the co-main cake. So sightly different infuriating situation. But why take the chance, make a different dessert. Scones sound good.

reluctantbrit · 21/06/2018 20:34

No unless agreed with the host. DH has his birthday party on Sunday and the cake is a present from our friends which I was asked about as soon as the date was fixed.

nocoolnamesleft · 21/06/2018 20:43

Yum, cake.

HildaZelda · 21/06/2018 20:48

Cheesecake maybe if you're afraid in case it's mistaken for the main birthday cake?

Ethylred · 21/06/2018 22:12

I foresee a cake war here.
Or at least competitive baking.

KC225 · 21/06/2018 22:35

I agree with Hilda do a cheesecske

ChilliCat · 21/06/2018 22:36

Personally Don’t bring a cake but instead bring something smaller maybe like cupcakes because then you’re not really intruding on the Bday cake but you’re still bringing something as a present so they will still appreciate it. Problem solved

Raven88 · 21/06/2018 22:44

I wouldn't be offended at cake.

iamyourequal · 21/06/2018 22:48

I would ask the hostess. She might have spent hours planning the whole day out and will want it to be just so. It might be a great help to her if she knows you are going to bring a cheesecake to save her the bother. Or she might hate the thought of wasted food - if you turn up with a massive cake that isn’t needed and has a short shelf life it might stress her out! I think it would be safer to just take wine/chocolates/flowers, or, if you are certain you must bake, a fruit cake that improves with keeping, so it doesn’t need to be served at the party. I would avoid cupcakes at all costs, they are a ubiquitous crime!

seafret · 21/06/2018 23:10

I agree, not cake. OK for normal BBQ, but not brithday one. if she has made a cake, it may be awkward, and perhaps even more so if she hasn't made a cake and you have!!!

I'd take chocolates/ wine or something

Neolara · 21/06/2018 23:12

No. Don't take a cake. That's stepping on the host's toes. Offer to bring a pudding.

BusterTheBulldog · 21/06/2018 23:22

Normally I would say you can never have too much cake! But then we recently had a birthday bbq for husband, had said no need to bring food. Already had two cakes and sweet things and ended up with another three home made cakes! Really, lovely gestures but they just went to waste (despite my best personal efforts and giving to all and sundry the days after).

I would take fizz or something sweet that will keep for a while.

Flip