Dessert and DSS

[WatchedSportAllWeekendAgain]

I’m fully prepared to be told AIBU.

DP and I have lived together for about 8 months. We haven’t hosted in that time so I am very excited to be hosting 2 couples this weekend. DPs 2 DS will be here as well (14 & 18).
DP & I were discussing the food etc last night & I mentioned I would make 2 desserts. He then asked if I could make 1/2 size desserts as DC (14) won’t be able to control them self & would finish off any leftover pudding.
This would involve buying new tins (if they exist that small ) & having a 3.5” torte !!

AIBU to to crack on with my original plan or do I cut down to 1 dessert & hope everyone likes it ?

I'm a bit confused. Can you not stick to your original plan and just tell your stepson he can't eat it all.

Nope, follow your plan. I'm a greedy guts, I'd love to choose from 2 desserts at a dinner!

Surely your DP can actually tell his son to behave and leave it alone?
Otherwise he is ridiculous.

Well I can’t but think DP should

It’s up to your DP to control his greedy son otherwise HE should be the one making the extra dessert. Why on Earth should you be put out just because your DP can’t be arsed to sort out his DS?!!

I don't really follow.

Surely the norm is to have a portion of either one of the desserts, or to have a small serving of both?!

Huh?! That’s so bizarre. Your DSS is 14 so old enough to a) control his own appetite and b) listen if told not to eat something. If his eating is that out of control buy a lock for the fridge/cupboards and tell your DP to take him to the GP. But definitely do not change your menu plan.

He’s BU and needs to just tell him off but if you wanted to go along and make sure there are no leftovers then just make one dessert instead new kit to make 2 small desserts.

In a few years your DSS could be living away from home and eating what he likes.

Better to help him learn some self control now.

Just go with the original plan and then if there is anything left over offer seconds to everybody. Someone is bound to take you up on it and maybe there won't be any left over for the greedy little so and so to binge on.

Is he diabetic or some other health issue? Or a teen struggling with weight/self-esteem/stress. Uncontrollable eating, especially of sweet items can be indicative of deeper medical issues.

I was reading an article earlier today about factors that affect blood sugar 42 factors that affect blood sugar. There’s a download link in the article that I also browsed. Somethings are surprising- being in a stressful or nerve wracking situation for example, which this could be for your DS, as it’s the first time you and your DP have hosted them in your new abode.

Standard advice to people with weight/blood sugar issues is not to keep excess treat foods around & rely on willpower but to minimise availability of these foods I.e. don’t keep sweets in the house.

I don’t think you would be being unreasonable to continue with your original plan, but neither do I think that your DP is unreasonable for asking. What’s a new tin or only baking one dessert to helping someone with their health or making someone nervous feel comfortable. Sometimes it’s better to be kind than rely on being right.

Make two. With 7 adults and 1 teen, there won’t be that much left for him to much on anyway.

You could always give your guests any leftovers to take home.

Thank you for your replies.
I’m going to make 2 & offer the guests doggy bags.

We never have desserts when the 2 DC come over apart from a yogurt. The DS concerned has a very large appetite & tends to finish off anything that is left over.
I think DP is worried about a) not appearing to nag at them when they come here b) making DS uncomfortable about his weight.
In my opinion (I have older DSs) he’s not overweight just a bit over enthusiastic about food !!

Just carry on and make the two then either give the remainder (if there is any!) to your guests to take Horne, guzzle it yourself whilst clearing up or wrap and quickly stick it in the freezer.

Unless there's an eating disorder issue make two. Will one dessert be enough for seven people?

All the 14 year old boys I know are constantly and perpetually starving - it's a time of great growth. As long as he's not overweight I'd let him get on with it.

"tends to finish off anything that is left over."

Is this just items on the table? In which case cut and serve the cake onto plates in the kitchen and bring it through.
If he will actually independently go into the fridge after the meal is over and start scoffing extras then you'll have to bag it up as soon as you've plated what you intend to serve.

What's with the 'not appearing to nag' bit? Is he all Disney dad?

Make the desserts. Offer leftovers to your guests if you like, but alternatively just say to the teenagers that the leftovers are to be kept for e.g. Sunday lunch or something else later. Or freeze them?

What!!!

Have you jet ternage boys!! Your ds is crazy.

I had 4 teenage boys and between the ages of 13 and 21 they eat and eat and eat. Constantly. Our food bill was twice as much as our mortgage.

It’s completely normal.

If he’s not overweight let him crack on and eat any leftovers. Offering guests doggie bags is strange.

What an odd thing to ask of you.
And odd you don't have desert when stepson are home.

Also why would a 14 year old and an 18 year old want to eat with their parents and other old fogies?

Unless it was a bbq or a special family occasion mine would stay well away and order pizza.

You did day 14/18 didn’t you. That’s really quite odd.

And sorry normally yogurt for pudding for teenage boys!!! Blimey poor buggers

This is a DP problem. Not a pudding problem.