To ask for advice on how to handle uptight food obsessed MIL

[SheWhomMustbeobeyed]

We are off to a family event soon with dc age 7 and 10. MIL is very old fashioned in a children should be seen and not heard sort of way, gets very stressed and anxious easily and is generally rude and unpleasant. One of her big things is meals. Weeks before something she wants to start planning meals. It is always stressful around her table. Trouble is one of my dd's is a bit of a fussy eater which is massively frowned upon. MIL serves up massive plate fulls of bland food. We tend not to make a fuss and she is getting better but I am already panicking about it! Don't really know what advice I'm after but any tips on how to handle it would be appreciated.

It’s always hard with PIL but I think the Most important thing is consistency for you DC. Don’t change meal time rules to suit MIL and her ways. If your MIL mentions anything I would tell her your reasons and let her like it or lump it. You can’t let your children see that things change around other people.

Does she speak directly to your DCs or to you when she’s being unpleasant? X

if its a one day thing, I would probably just say to the kids to do their best and make sure I take enough bits to tide themover if they don't eat it. if its over the course of a few days, thats a bit different and you could suggest doing the cooking for some of it.

Could you speak with your mil before hand and help her plan the food a bit? Try and steer her to include at least some things your dd likes ont he plate?

I'm usually the first to pile in on difficult MILs! But if I'm honest, I can't quite see the problem here. The food is bland? I mean, if your DC are 7 and 10 is it really too much to ask them just to crack on and force some of it down? They're not toddlers. Eating food you're not crazy about is a pretty basic social skill. Unless there's much more to this that you haven't included for brevity's sake, then I can't help feeling maybe MIL isn't the only uptight one.