Residential Holiday camps for kids reluctant to stay away from home

[Ojoj1974]

Hello
Can you recommend a 2-3 night camp in the south of England for a 10yr who is reluctant to stay away from home?

He loves Bush Craft and outdoor pursuits.

I think he would benefit from a camp

1. that can accommodate someone who might struggle being away from home
2. High staff to pupil ratio
3. Is fully residential

Any ideas??

Why do you think he would benefit?

Why would you want him to go if he wouldn't want to be away from you?

Why must he be pushed to be away from home?

Camp wilderness

Toads for justice- the school recommended it.
If I'm honest I'm really struggling to know what to do with him. He finds it hard getting on with his peers. He feels the more
Alpha boys leave him out. He's at a
Small school with only a few boys in His group. He's a rigid thinker, finds
Sharing hard And can come Across bossy.
I'm Desperate to help him but have
No idea how... I have asked someone I know who's an behavioural physiologist to see him to help.

PGL run first timer camps so everyone is in the same situation. They are usually 3 nights and you can pay with childcare vouchers.

Our daughter does a week every summer even though we don’t need childcare because it’s such fun.

10 is still quite young. Do you have friends or family he can practice staying the night with? You don’t want him to be more put off staying away in from home, if a course proves too much. And maybe find a day course?
I had awful anxiety staying away from home at that age,but by staying with people in non scary circumstances built up to be able to do resident language courses etc by myself by 14 or 15.
Sorry if that’s completely unhelpful! Good luck

I think PGL would cater for your needs and they have specific weekends/weeks for 'first-timers'.

It's a tricky one, my son was like this at your son's age, he has still not done a residential. He had a failed school one.

He has gone on to have a SEN diagnosis (ASD) but at some point we need to enable him to be away from us but at the moment he is 12 and wouldn't cope with it so we haven't gone down that route.

I wouldn't push him to do something he is uncomfortable with just yet. Can he comfortably do sleepovers? I think I would focus on that first.

He's 10.
Trips away from home - to see family/friends he likes and trusts.
School trips with people and teachers he likes.

A residential trip for someone not ready to go away from home is hell.
Its a strange place, strange people, strange rules, strange toilets.

Baby steps and letting him decide the pace and place.

He is only 10. He needs to be with his family and not with strangers in a strange place.

I think the School are victim blaming as they don’t protect him there.

I would change schools. It’s not your son.

My oldest son sounds like your ds. He flourished at a much bigger state comp

Trips away from home - to see family/friends he likes and trusts.
School trips with people and teachers he likes.

^^This or cubs/scoutes after he's been going for a while so knows the leaders and other boys.

If I'm honest I'm really struggling to know what to do with him. He finds it hard getting on with his peers.

Does he do outside groups ? - that's sometimes helped mine - another group to get on with - though I grew up rural so understand that's not always possible solution.

Thank you for all your replies. DS is a summer born yr 6. He has just been away for 2 nights. He really struggled.
I don't want to send him anywhere, I was only asking as the school
Suggested it...

He's happy at home and will do the odd
Sleep over with families he knows well. To be honest he rarely gets asked.

DD is at a private prep school. They just keep telling me he needs to be more resilient, more flexible re friends and he can be his own worst enemy.

I'm finding it v hard to deal with. He is also becoming difficult at school,
Forgetful, an d at times a bit dishonest over things like homework.

I feel he is unhappy but I don't really know what to do. I moved him
From his last school
I'm yr 3 for the same reasons so I worried that I can't keep doing it

Never mind what the school think
What do you think?

And being excluded from the alpha boys isn't a bad thing.

Schools sometimes have very fixed ideas of what children "should" be like. Sounds like indvidual attention woukd be good rather than being chucked in a group of kids he's never met.

I would suggest scouts - sound perfect for him! Might not get a residential this summer but think of it as a longer term plan

10 is quite young.

As a child, I went away on camps from the age of 8/9, but I always went with my older sister and shared a dorm with her, so it wasn't like I was alone.

Why doesn’t he do a few day things of his choice to build his confidence.

Nothing worse than being frog marched into ‘character building’ activities

I disagree with the school, suggesting a hobby of club yes but not sending a reluctant child away alone. I just wouldn't do it.

DD is at a private prep school. They just keep telling me he needs to be more resilient, more flexible re friends and he can be his own worst enemy.

What are they doing to help him do that?

If he's year 6 is he moving Septemeber or is it one of those private schools that just goes through? If he is doing a move to larger secondary school with larger pool of people to get on with could be postive for him.

PGL are good. My DS2 has autism and learning disabilities and went to one with his church group. I was very apprehensive but he had a ball! But he was 14 when he went, not 10.

I'm not saying your son has ASD but the rigid thinking /intolerance sounds rather asd -like and he may just not be ready to go away. School doesn't sound very helpful tbh...more like blaming him for being who he is!

ignore school. it sounds like he is a home bod. nowt wrong with that at 10, or indeed any age.
do they mean that he just doesnt fit in? what does he like doing? can you find him some like minded peers? thats what i would focus on. what are his strenghts? what do you like about him?

Oh poor lad. Don't send him away against his wishes. It'll only make him feel worse. He needs his safe space which is undoubtedly at home with you. School need to help him, not blame him. They need to put structures in place to help him with social communication. Do they have a proper SENCO? Then outside of school can you ease him into some activities which fit with his interests: scouts, sport, drama, music? Small steps.

This can be the downside of smaller schools. He might "find his tribe" and fly in a bigger secondary. My 9 year old has autism and is in a big state primary. He is similarly rigid and very single minded on his uncool pet topics, but he's very much accepted quirks and all.

I think pushing him away with strangers is unlikely to help. YMCA do daycamps with an optional one night sleepover, which might be a gentler option. He'd get to know his fellow campers in the daytime for a few days before the sleepover. But ultimately if he had those skills to fit in and go along with the crowd he'd already be doing it. Chucking him in with a load of strangers isn't going to fix it. It sounds like he would benefit from more explicit help.

Reading "the explosive child" might help - not superficially relevant perhaps but might be useful in helping you to structure your thinking on ways to help him. It works from an assumption that children fail to conform/act appropriately not because of a lack of motivation, but because they lack the skills. It takes you through how you can identify these lagging skills and think of how to improve them.