Dog Query

[Julymum2]

My parents collect my child from school 3 days a week, they have recently bought a new dog, a puppy. They have been bringing it over to my house and it has already popped on my new carpet, they are bringing it indoors with them while I’m at work. Thy never asked me first, what do I do? I don’t want it here. I thought it would be for a short while as it’s just a puppy but now they’ve told me they’ve bought a cage to keep in my garage too. Please please advise what I do I don’t want to fall out with them.

How long are they at your house after school?

It’s a tough one.

Have you told them you don’t want a dog at your house?

Is there an after school club for dd?

Can they take your DD to theirs?

Puppies poo. And wee. A lot. They're planning on crate training which if done properly is great and will stop the pup having free range of your house

Make other arrangements for dc's pick ups.

I think your choice is put up with the puppy or find someone else to pick your DC up

If dd likes the puppy, and you like the childcare you probably have to join the puppy-training team, sorry. YANBU being peed off about it though.

They are only at mine for a few hours and because it’s s puppy I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t kick up a fuss just yet as when it’s okder they’ll hopefully keep it at theirs? They live in a small house with tiny garden whereas my house is bigger and my garden is huge and I think they’re thinkingit’ll be good for the dog but if I wanted a dog I’d have gotten one myself! They said today could they keep it in my garage if they needed to go out the odd time and I said ok I suppose and then hey said oh great as they’d bought a cage and would bring it over and cage is big 3ft? So why’d already bought a cage and are assuming I’m going to keep it here. I just feel they are taking liberties.

Thanks for the comments. I hope I don’t come across as unreasonable. I’ve 4 children and we both work and just at the minute I’m coming home to a mess and a dog and I’m not a great dog lover. The thought of a dog crapping all over my garden just makes me mad even though they obviously lift it and clean up but I found a small dog poo the other day in it and don’t want it walked all brought my house, I’ve enough to be doing already.

You're not unreasonable to not want a dog in your house especially before it is toilet trained but given it is a puppy they probably can't leave it for the length of time they are doing your childcare.

However they are doing your childcare which inevitably involves compromises on their part so in order for it to continue you may also need to compromise

You can ask them to not to bring the dog to your house, but they can also say they cannot provide childcare if this is the case. Most likely they can't leave the puppy for an extended period.

Have you got alternative childcarer options?

I wanted a dog I’d have gotten one myself!

Do they know that? It sounds like you would be a terrible candidate for a dog owner with your current commitments.

Maybe they think it is great for the dc to get the experience of a dog without you taking on the responsibility.

It won’t be long til it is house trained.

Agreed with others that you’re totally reasonable to say that you don’t want someone else’s dog in your house - especially a puppy who isn’t house-trained - but I think you should expect to have to make other childcare arrangements.

I would never dream of taking my dog into someone else’s house/garden unless they were genuinely comfortable with it, but especially when he was a puppy and couldn’t be left for any length of time, that did mean I was unavailable to go anywhere/do anything where he couldn’t be with me. Even now, when he’s fully house-trained and can be left for several hours at a time, there are still plenty of times when I’m not willing to do things that require my leaving him for extended periods, so you shouldn’t assume that your parents will be back to the usual routine, without the dog at your house, in the near future.

They do sound like they’ve made some unfair assumptions, but I think your best bet is to sit them down for a chat about what you are and are not comfortable with, with regard to the dog in your house/garden, but bear in mind that it’s their choice to have a dog and your choice to have your children. Neither of you is obliged to be responsible for the others’ choices.

Yes I agree it’s their choice to have a dog and mine to have children but they offered to look after mine I didn’t ask. They’ve been picking dd up from nursery for the past year and only recently got a dog. They definitely know we don’t want a dog of our own. Even the cage thin has annoyed me, we have an older son and we have put some gym equipment in the garage for him, I don’t want a 3ft dog cage in there. I would never buy something and then tell someone I’d bought it to be stored at their house/garage etc. I feel my parents are unreasonable I know that if I mention to them I’m unhappy about the dog being here that they would take the hump and not speak to me. My dd would lose out as she loves them collecting her from school and I know they enjoy it too. Think I’m annoyed as my house is immaculate and my carpet is only a year old and I’ve a fairly new sofa and I come in and a dog is sitting on it! New childminding arrangements come September I think is best way forward!

I didn't ask them to have the kids - thats a ridiculous point. They offered to help you out not because they are desperate to rear your kids and saying that makes you sound very self absorbed. They have a life of their own, they want a dog but they are prepared to help you with childcare as well. If you don't like it then make alternative arrangements. They should pick up the poo though

It would be quite fair to say, 'mum and dad, I don't want the dog on the furniture in my house.' Or you could ask for it to be kept in specific rooms. Lots of dog owners have straightforward rules like, dogs don't go upstairs, and I think you could have that conversation without giving offence.

Ask them to restrict it to the kitchen, garden and crate and to clear up after it. It will be housetrained pretty quickly, my first puppy was housetrained at 18 weeks and my second by 16 weeks at the most, but she was practically there at 12 weeks.

If you've still got a baby gate, you could put that across the kitchen doorway to keep the puppy from getting to the rest of the house.

As someone besotted with puppies (the very thought of a puppy makes me broody), YABVU, but I get that they're not everyone's cup of tea.

Oh come on. They are your parents, your children and it reads like they are nurturing a great relationship.
If my own grandparents were alive, they could bring a pet elephant to shit on my new sofa and I would not mind. It's only a chattel.

I think YABU, and not very nice or understanding about the whole thing. I completely appreciate that you don’t like dogs but it does sound like your parents are 1) helping you out a lot and 2) trying to mitigate the situation/doing their best to clean up after it and getting cage etc. Discuss boundaries with them by all means but I don’t think it’s worth falling out over.