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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Partner has told Friend at work about pregnancy test aibu

22 replies

Paddington23 · 19/06/2018 19:34

Period is really late so taken a test showed up as negative . Went back up and it was showing as positive told my partner to get a new test just in case and it’s probably not
Positive due to the time I left it. When I text him just now he said not to worry James had this happen. Actually fuming I don’t want anyone knowing about it. Wasn’t planning to have kids yet as only 23 but have been advised to try sooner rather than later due to it probably going to be difficult. he knows if I was pregnant I would struggle or make a decision.

OP posts:

araiwa · 19/06/2018 19:38

Maybe james told him what happened to him on a previous occasion unrelated to todays events?

Theycouldhavechoseneve · 19/06/2018 19:38

What does “struggle or make a decision” mean. Your post sounds like you tried sooner than later on advice without knowing if you wanted a baby or not. Pregnancy isn’t an experiment

ShirleyPhallus · 19/06/2018 19:40

How do you know he text james now and isn’t just talking from another experience?

Original poster

Paddington23 · 19/06/2018 19:43

I mean I have a condition where having kids would be a lot harder un likely to happen if I end up having more surgery. If I was pregnant now it would be really hard to make that decision knowing I might never get to have children one day. I’ve just started a new job to

OP posts:

BeeFarseer · 19/06/2018 19:43

James could have had that happen a year ago and told your DP about it then. He could be remembering. How do you know he told him?

araiwa · 19/06/2018 19:44

You appear to have missed out the part where he told james....

Theycouldhavechoseneve · 19/06/2018 19:45

What “decision”? I’m confused. Were you trying to conceive?

Original poster

Paddington23 · 19/06/2018 19:45

He’s just said that James asked why he was texting me

OP posts:

mavismcruet · 19/06/2018 19:45

So your oh is not allowed to have a wider frame of reference about pregnancy or to talk to his friend about stuff? He sounds nice, you sound controlling and immature. Yabu.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 19/06/2018 19:46

James may have told your partner. I knew when a colleague and his wife were trying. No details, just that they were. People do talk.

Nicknacky · 19/06/2018 19:47

I think in your situation the last thing I would be spending time worrying about is if James knows. Maybe your partner needed to speak to someone about his worries although it would be unusual to tell a work pal as soon as his girlfriend peed on a stick. Concentrate on your potential pregnancy.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/06/2018 19:50

Ok, so you have potentially an unplanned pregnancy and you might want an abortion, so you're upset your partner talked about it to his friend until you decide whether you are keeping it or not?

SleepingStandingUp · 19/06/2018 19:52

Maybe he feels conflicted about a potential pregnancy too. It's your body, your choice but you can't stop your partner having feelings about it.

Greatorb · 19/06/2018 19:55

Yabu. For him to support you, he may need to draw support from elsewhere.

FlyingElbows · 19/06/2018 19:59

He has every right to look for support from a friend, just as you do. You're not the only person involved when it comes to pregnancy. Absolutely your choice but he's allowed to have feelings and worries and seek support in dealing with them.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/06/2018 20:04

I would recommend retesting on a digital pee stick though op

Footballmumofthefuture · 19/06/2018 20:05

I get what she is saying. If she decided to have an abortion then James and potentially who ever rose at his work knows before she has had time for it to sink in.
Then if she does have an abortion because she isn't ready for a pregnancy with high risks.Then she also runs the risk of judgey people.
It's something women are afraid to talk about and he should be discussing it with her first.
I also get men need someone to talk to too. But it's a very personal choice for a woman and I wouldn't want my pregnancy or decision of abortion being the highlight of office talk.

I see both sides don't get me wrong. I doubt he thought before he spoke. Talk to him and tell him your feelings.

Footballmumofthefuture · 19/06/2018 20:07

Typos! I have fat fingers on this phone.

Original poster

Paddington23 · 19/06/2018 20:10

I do see both sides I get he needs to talk to someone but this soon and someone from work

OP posts:

Footballmumofthefuture · 19/06/2018 20:13

@Paddington23 I'm with You! At least let you find out whether you are or not yet. Talk about it and decide what will help you both. Ultimately it's you that has to make all the life changing decisions.

LeighaJ · 19/06/2018 20:17

If James is someone he's close to then I can understand.

My husband found out I was pregnant while on a stag weekend and told his co-worker (who was there too) before we told anyone else. But I know that's because it's the only co-worker he's close to and the only one with children.

lapenguin · 19/06/2018 20:21

He needs support and I think someone from work that he is probably good enough friends with is a good choice. More so if it's not someone you have much interaction with (as in not as much as someone from his inner friend group).

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