AIBU to not want company?

[ThrillitDontkillit]

I appreciate I sound ungrateful, or unsociable but AIBU to want to be left alone when recovering from a relatively minor operation?

I had surgery last Thursday. DH has been fantastic and looked after me and DS beautifully, even better than I could have hoped. It was planned surgery and my friends knew I was having it. All went okay and I feel okay and I will be recovering for 2-3 weeks.

I am now getting calls/messages from different friends who,separately, want to visit, to 'keep me company'. But I don't want company. I want to slouch about and watch boxsets, browse Mumsnet and do the stuff I never do because I am always with people. At work I am always talking, answering to my team, being available, and at home I am always dealing with extended family matter, or friends or stuff just I generally have to do.

I was actually looking forward to being off sick so I wasn't dealing with anything or anyone for a bit .

There are so many posts on here from people who are alone and desperately need help and friends, so I am prepared to be told I am BU, and suck it up and be grateful for visitors. So, what do you think?

Just be vague and say at the mo you're still exhausted from the general anaesthetic but you'll get in touch when you're up to it, then your sick leave will go so quick and you'll apologise for never getting round to it

There is no right or wrong answer. Everyone is different. If you want to relax on your own, just let them know and if they are truly friends they will understand

I'm with you!

I'd just reply something like "aw, thank you, that's really sweet of you. I think I'd rather just stay on my own for now, but I'll let you know when I'm up for a bit of company, thank you!"

Just tell them the truth! You're recovering and want to do so privately, but you look forward to seeing them when you're up to it. Don't make something so simple into an issue.

Id just text 'hi thanks for checking in, still resting as much as poss so Ill let you know when Im up to visitors, thanks"

That's a good idea @kitkatsy

I think I worry about offending people. "I just want to be on my own and lick my would and stare into space for a bit" sounds rude in my head.

Wounds not would

I so understand you!! Shineyme had a good speech. Hope you get better soon!

I'm with you. I spend all day everyday surrounded by people mithering me. I love nothing more than being alone. I think some people are scared of being alone.

Just politely decline and say you're not up to visitors.

I’m one of those lonely people you mention! And yet sometimes also I just want people to fuck off.

I say do what you want to do. You don’t have to take one for the team just because you feel ungrateful! It’s okay to do what you need and want to do without any explanations. Just say you’re not up for visitors yet.

Honestly if I were your friend I’d be worried about you managing at home alone, so would be offering to come over- but I’d appreciate the honesty and totally understand

Saying you're not up for company is not rude, fgs!

"I just want to be on my own and lick my wounds and stare into space for a bit" sounds rude in my head.
It makes me picture a dog wearing a lampshade collar and alternating between trying to lick the stitches and lying there looking pathetic
Definitely not rude to say you're not up for company though.

@Nikephorus I am not quite that pathetic but sometimes there are feeling moments when I am close