Is this fair division of responsibilities?

[NaiceTornHamstring]

Parent A drops DCs (aged 8 and 6) at breakfast club before school in the morning, at 8am.

Parent B picks DCs up from after-school club in the afternoon, at 5.30pm.

School is 7 or 8 minutes walk away from home.

Both parents work full-time, around an hour away from home.

Parent A has to:

• Make sure teeth are brushed, hair combed, PE kit, homework in bags etc before setting off.
• Encourage DCs to put on their shoes which is apparently the most difficult thing in the world.
• Get them to school by 8am in order to get on the train to work on time by 9am (c.55 minutes away so minimal leeway).

Parent B has to:

• Leave work early (by 4.30pm) to get to school by 5.30pm, via tube and 10 min walk.
• Encourage DCs to leave after-school club as they're invariably engrossed in a very important game that can't be interrupted.
• Make kids' dinner, coax them into doing homework, start bathtime etc, before Parent A gets in from work at 7pm (if not going out for drinks etc after work).

To me that seems like fairly equal sharing of responsibilities. Or is one inherently more difficult than the other? And which would you rather do?

he just needs to sort himself out. when my older dc were little dh did a brief stint of morning parenting. he claimed it was easy. that is true if you dress a 6 and 8 year old and put their shoes and socks for them.

Yes Lndnmummy exact same thing over here - all the thinking and having to remind DP what to do every day does wear you down. I did experiment with being more hands off but things got forgotten and ultimately it's the DCs that suffer.

Reanimated I don't ever socialise in the evenings, you're right. But that's ok.

I'm actually not complaining at all as I realise I'm fortunate to have a job that's relatively flexible. And the DCs are becoming increasingly independent so perhaps it won't feel like so much of a slog as we go on.

Thanks so much for the perspective, it really helps!

I wouldn’t care which I did.

My deal is way worse I reckon 😁

Sorry to hear that TuTru, can't be easy

We have a similar set up and I think parent A’s role is the easier one, particularly if it comes with a free pass for evening drinks. At the end of the day everyone is tired. And your DC are old enough to remember their own stuff if they have a calendar/list with it on the door - or at least to help/remind your DH. You need to just leave him to it - to all of it so he knows there’s no back up. He should eventually find a routine that works for him in the mornings if you don’t get involved.

I'm parent B in the set up. I do also tend to start the morning routine (start a bit later than you but same commute). I also tend to make sure homework in bag etc the night before.

But big difference is with a bit of notice DP fairly regularly does a pick up for me eg if I have a late meeting or want to go out one night. I think if he never did this I'd probably be a bit resentful that I always had to leave work early, never went out etc.

As long as there's a little bit of flex if one has a late meeting or fancies drinks after work themselves or if the other needs to get in early for a special event or difficult morning