Truth in jest?

[Usagii]

Was watching Love Island with my partner the other night and I asked "what's your type then?!" He replied "Ooh brunette, someone who isn't tied down maybe?!"

I'm blonde and have an 18 month old DS. (Father totally out of the picture). I know he said it as a joke but it's been niggling at me ever since. Especially the 'someone who isn't tied down' part.

We've only been together 4 months romantically and have been friends for 13 years (we are both 28). He's not had a partner who has a child before and I can't help but feel like I'm boring him by not being about to go for evenings out very often. He insists he's only joking and that my house is his 'favourite place to be'.

AIBU to think there is some truth in jest?

I think you might be right, because as a joke it wasn’t funny. If a ‘joke’ isn’t funny it usually has some other function.

He was only joking OP.

Types aren't an irrefutable edict. Maybe he would normally go for brunettes who have no responsibilities but that doesn't mean he hasn't chosen you and isn't committed to being with you. If there is a wider pattern of him seeming resentful or cool then I would understand but based on this alone I wouldn't be worried.

I don't think you should use a discourse about 'Love Island' as a basis for serious analysis of your relationship. It's trivial, light-hearted nonsense viewing - I would treat your partner's remark in the same vein as the programme which inspired it.

PolkaHots that makes sense. I should add he is so great with my DS, very much become like a father to him. The three of us are going on holiday to Spain as well in the late summer.

But still, that 'joke' gets to me

I think he's just saying it to tease you and doesn't mean any harm. See if he laughs when you say you're attracted to whichever guy is the opposite of him

What a shit! That’s a really insensitive thing to say, joke or not. He should have apologised afterwards when he realised what a dick he’d been.

FWIW my DP once said of Pamela Anderson (we’re old, google her!) “she’s blonde with big tits, what’s not to like!?” I’m brunette with (at the time) small boobs. His ex is blonde and has fakebig tits so it was a double insult.

He felt awful afterwards when he realised what he’d said and that the type of thing he might say to mates or his brother is not acceptable to say to me! He made that mistake once in 6 years and is now careful to make sure I feel like the most beautiful woman imaginable, even though it’s lies!

@Usagii
Dont let some anonymous poster shit stirring alone impact on what sounds like a good relationship OP. He made a wry comment in jest. If he wanted to be with a brunette with no responsibilities he would be.

You asked a silly question so he gave you a silly answer. Clearly YOU are his type as he's romantically involved with you, it was daft of you to ask him that question so I don't blame him for making a joke of the answer.

Eric fair point! Ha

If you asked me what my type is I'd say black messy hair, skinny, eyeliner - basically I'd describe Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day! DP has thinning, greying hair that used to be strawberry blonde and a paunch. He wouldn't wear any makeup if I paid him. But it's him who I've chosen and who I love. Beauty is skin deep but we fall for people, not hair colour.

Ah he was joking op. He said exactly your opposite as a joke. He’s with you. That’s says it all

He said something silly in jest. What is far more important is how he acts and treats you and your child. Actions defiantly speak louder than words. Try not to read too much into a fly away comment from watching a tv show.

Agree it's probably nothing to worry about. You asked his type. He was either going to have to describe you, or give a comedy answer.

He deliberately said the opposite to you as a joke, probably thinking that 'types' are ridiculous and as you referred to love island you were only messing about anyway. If he described you it would've been cringeworthy.

If he described you it would've been cringeworthy or kind?