Homestart - not sure how to "use them?"

[mamaandthegirls]

So I have a homestart volunteer that comes once a week for a few hours, she's been twice now but I'm starting to feel awkward. I never know what to say or do.
Our first session we just got to know each other and the second session I asked her if I could clean up while she played with DC, which she was totally fine with, but after I just felt a little awkward.

I don't really know how she can help, she is absolutely lovely as a person but I'm struggling on finding ways that she can help me.
She asked yesterday when he arrived if there's anything I can think of she'd like my help with next week, to let her know, but I just don't know what!
I feel like I'm wasting her time
How did yours help you?

Mine mostly entertained baby while I had a bath and dried my hair properly, made phone calls, nipped to the shops, did some freezer cooking. Mostly though she was just a fabulous lady who gave me strength to Get Myself Together after a tricky birth, unhelpful dh and trying to swerve PND which blighted my first baby's first few months.

Others I know went along to hospital appointments, accompanied on trips out etc. It doesn't need to be anything specific.

My understanding is that they're there for whatever you need. That means they can help with practical stuff like giving advice, helping with routines, getting organised, finding other support (like if you needed to claim benefits etc) or just watch the kids while you get on with a few bits.
What was the reason you were referred on to them?

I was a Homestart volunteer for a while. If you don’t mind me asking, how was it that you came under Homestart? Were you referred by a health visitor etc or did you request help? I only ask as if you were referred maybe you can see what the person that referred you think would benefit you.
I did all sorts with my family. Helped mum learn some simple recipes from scratch so they stretched their income a bit further and were healthier. Helped them with budgeting, getting them into a routine for the DC that worked for everybody as much as possible. I was also a sounding board for all sorts of things.
Even had to phone the HA on their behalf to sort out a maintenance issue.
Hope that helps inspire some ideas.

I'm a Homestart volunteer. I have played with DC while mum does chores, just sat and chatted if that's what she needs, taken DC to the park, accompanied mum to a toddler group. At the moment, my mum needs a couple of hours to herself so I take the baby out.

We really don't mind as long as we are not doing your chores for you! It will take a little while for you to feel totally comfortable. It took me a while to feel happy sitting holding a baby while mum is busy.

I volunteer with HS.
I’ve chased a toddler round a playgroup while mum and new baby sat quietly.
Helped clear out the home of a hoarder by 14 or so runs to the tip.
Listened to people talk through their feelings/thoughts/issues
Taken children to the park while their mum drew breath.
Had endless tea parties, built train layouts, put up tents while parents had a rare meal together or did the ironing.
Been a taxi service, getting school refusers to school
Offering educational support/printing off past papers for older children
Ironing
Encouraging a little one to eat his tea whilst watching CBeebies...

Perhaps a combination of sitting with a cup of tea for a chat to offload, then fitting in some jobs while she entertains your child would suit?

I had one and found it really awkward. It was strange letting someone in to your house and not having a relationship with them.

I used to chat, and share worries. They played with toddler while I did the washing or made phone calls.

Sometimes we went to the park together. It was a funny relationship. She was a lovely lady who was supportive and knew what it was like to be in exact situation. They don’t judge or tell you to change. But gently support you.

I did always feel a bit guilty for having one. The HV refered me. I did dread the meetings with the leader where we had to reevaluate the sessions and see if the volunteer was being helpful enough.

I didn’t ever feel I was using them in the right way either. But maybe that’s how it is.

Thanks for replies so far ladies. Sorry, I forgot to mention that I asked myself to be referred to them. Simply because I am struggling with DD who is 2 and need some support. Also because where I live is very isolating and I don't have any transport so family and friends live over an hour away. Hope that helps.

I was a HS volunteer and I did the following: helped organise the family budget, taught cooking/weaning skills, took the children out so mum could have a break, went for coffee with mum and accompanied mum to medical/school appointments.

They are very flexible and are there to make your life a little bit easier. X

I loved my homestart lady. It is awkward to start but we got to know each other. I often used to pop out with oldest child leaving her with youngest. Or left her playing with kids while I cleaned or sometimes just caught up on sleep!
Don't feel guilty - just start with getting to know them and using the time to get any jobs done.

Sounds entirely appropriate for you to have one. What about getting her to drive you to a toddler group or somewhere else for a change of scene ?

When I had a homestart volunteer,

i’d shower while she looked after my baby

she’d help me tidy, put away laundry

She’d help me do any shopping/appointments as needed

She’d help us go on outings

Sometimes we’d just hang out and chat.

6.5 years later she is a close friend of our family and my children call her “Aunty”

Would she be able to drive you to a supermarket, if that would be useful?
Second the idea of asking her to accompany you to a toddler group.
Do you think it would help your DD in any way for someone to give her their undivided attention for a couple of hours, reading to her or playing games etc? You could perhaps use the time to do some of the things that you find difficult when accompanied by a 2 year old!