Boyfriend not staying with me

[AppleBlossomTimeNow]

Had an IUD fitted yesterday evening - was not the most enjoyable experience, and I still feel like I've been kicked in the uterus. Decided to have an IUD as BF couldn't take time off work recovering from a vasectomy, and condoms are a pain because he occasionally gets erectile dysfunction & they kill the mood. So I've taken one for the team. He came round last night but buggered off at 11pm when I assumed he'd stay over to keep me company and hopefully some hugs/TLC. AIBU to think this is pretty callous or am I expecting too much?

YABU it's crampy, but it's not like you can't grit your teeth and be an adult about it. And he stayed until 11pm!

For your next fitting get naproxen- it works wonders.

Bloody hell op, you sound like hard work. Just tell him what you want! Ive dumped men because I cant be the mind reader they expect me to be, its impossible. ffs an IUD is hardly surgery either.

Time off work for a vasectomy? Its done under local and my DH drove himself home after.

I’m assuming it’s something you discussed having fitted?

If he could see you were in pain then I would have expected him to stay and look after you. If it was the other way round would you stay with him? (If he’s ill or in pain, obviously not having an iud)

I’m sure on the leaflet you are given it describes that it can be very painful for some, it all depends as we’re all different. A hot water bottle and some rest will hopefully help you OP hope you feel better soon

Maybe he thought it was a minor thing and you were ok to be left?

I had an IUD fitted first in the morning. I went home, had a cuppa and some brufen and went to work. Never crossed my mind to request TLC.

OK, it was discussed in so far as I said I didn't know how I'd feel as I'd not had it done before, so didn't know if I'd be in pain or not. I think it was apparent I was pretty sore & in pain, as I took ibuprofen and was very crampy.

I hadn't had an iud before, and we're 4 months into this relationship. Condoms have been acceptable in previous relationships but weren't ideal this time because of his issues - I felt like I'd taken one for the team so we could have a better sex life, not worry about pregnancy & work on his erectile dysfunction,

I guess I should be more articulate about my needs, but sometimes you just want someone to use their own judgement, not to have to spell it out & sound like you are barking orders or making demands.

I'm feeling better today, but still getting cramps - thanks for asking & thanks for your honesty!

'and we're 4 months into this relationship.'

And you were hoping he'd have a vasectomy

Blimey

He offered Marthas...but then when he looked into it, was concerned about the implications - he has a v physical job. We've both got kids from previous relationships & don't want more.

I had an IUD fitted a couple of weeks back and walked into town after to meet DH for a coffee. He did ask if I was ok that evening but only the once and I was fine. To be honest it was a bit crampy and uncomfortable for 48hrs and I popped a few paracetamols but not something I expected DH to do owt about. This all sounds a bit passive-aggressive to be annoyed your DP didn't realise you wanted him to rub your back and feed you grapes or something!

So YABU for not telling him what you wanted him to do and then being annoyed that he didn't automatically know!