to be annoyed at his games??

[piterdevries]

My DH is in his 40s, still hangs around with a few of his old uni mates. They are mostly decent types, more bookish than laddish.

They like to play dungeons and dragons, so I am used to vacating the dining room with the DC most Thursdays whilst they sit around pretending to be elves

Recently though I overheard one of his friends (who sort of is an umpire and describes what is going on) describing one of the others performing a sex act on the DH's chaeacter . I listened for a bit and it seems to be if a character messes up they have to do degrading things for the other characters, they used the term 'sex cauldron' or something like that.

Now this cracked me up for ages, but as the weekend wore on I started to get annoyed with how puerile and juvenile it is especially for a bunch of 40 something's!! So tempted to say something to DH and stop them playing - feel like I have an extra DC!!

Screaming Valenta - they are playing dungeons and dragons

D&D rather than AD&D? I ask because there tends to be more role playing in the latter than the former.

ScreamingValenta, next you will be asking which version of AD&D they are playing. In version 2 you have to speak in the accents of your character. In version 3.5 you have to dress up like your character. And in the latest version 4 you have to pretend its real and you are teleporting into the mythical world before you start play.

So that would affect how real the sex cauldron is!

Walkingdeadfangirl It was an ex who was into it, not me . His group once spent a whole weekend live role-playing a sequence of events. No idea whether they had a sex-cauldron, though. I'd have been a tad concerned at the time if it had been likely!

@Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname - why does an adult man having a hobby bother you so much? D&D is a social thing too. It's time to spend with his friends, it's not like he's wedged in front of a computer or an XBox (not that I think there's anything wrong with either of those as a matter of fact).

Well I don’t think you can ‘stop them playing’ because you’re not their mum but you can definitely tell them to change venue what with your dc being around!

I wouldn’t be criticising his past, nothing wrong with experimenting. Presumably he wouldn’t be unfaithful in any way now so it’s not really a problem?

Erm...I think some posters have misread this sentence 'Recently though I overheard one of his friends (who sort of is an umpire and describes what is going on) describing one of the others performing a sex act on the DH's chaeacter' . If they were actually sucking each other off or something then that would be a little more concerning! Personally I don't get the appeal of RPGs and find it cringey to overhear people playing them, but it's a pretty harmless hobby.

Is it any better or worse than doing it in a game online (which is very common). Or indeed watching a film with sex in it?

FYI I think the pornography in online games and films is a lot worse, but weirdly more accepted.

I think for me it's as much the fact they are using sexual degredation as punishment. I would find that incredibly distasteful and worrisome whether it was computer, role play or real life. It's crossed into fetish and kink, whether you engage in that within a consensual relationship is one thing. But actually engaging in it with real people outside your prime relationship without the knowledge and consent of the prime relationship is something quite another.

There's a line that's crossed here and I don't think it really has anything to do with the D&D element.

@Whocansay - Sex cauldron is a Simpsons quote:

What's bookish about this? It's idiotic.

Ah! That makes it slightly less weird if they're quoting lines from TV shows!

Is a sex cauldron like a really large slow cooker? Could be really useful for role player parties....😉