Isofix or not for car seats?

[Enigmasaurus]

We’re looking at 3 kids in car seats by the end of the year and have been thinking about an appropriate car for this (I’ve had another thread about that).

Speaking to some friends recently who have two slightly older children who are almost out of car seats, and they can’t understand why we’re keen to have isofix compatible seats. To me, it just feels more secure and safe in the event of a crash. They feel the data are not that convicing and that we are potentially spending a lot of money (buying a new car) that we don’t need to spend.

So, AIBU in insisting on isofix seats?

I have a Recaro booster seat which is isofix and goes up to age 12. Definitely worth it in my opinion, feels much more secure.

Whilst extended rear facing is safer, it’s not comfortable for the child.

To be honest I got isofix for my baby's first car seat as it's easier to pull him out in his seat, but once he needs another seat I won't bother. People have managed for years without one and once you get the hang of the belt it's just as secure

while rear facing is safer, it's not comfortable for the child- tell that to all the children who comfortably rear face, including nearly the entire child population of Sweden.

flakes I totally agree and understand the evidence behind rear facing seats being safer. Trust me, I would do it if I could. But I am not going to sit for an hour in the car with a screaming child who is complaining of being uncomfortable. I’ve therefore chosen not to ERF, but choose what I feel is a reasonable alternative. He was over 1m before the age of 3 btw and is above the 90th centile for height. I am not disagreeing with the evidence; I’ve had to look at alternatives.

LittleBear we got the CosyNSafe Excalibur which is a beast but feels very secure.

It sounds like you want car seats, and isofix ones at that. But for anyone who is interested, the law appears to say that you could go without a car seat for one of three children being transported, as long as they are over three years old.

No room for a third child car seat

Children under 3 must be in a child car seat. If there’s no room for a third child car seat in the back of the vehicle, the child must travel in the front seat with the correct child car seat.

Children aged 3 or older can sit in the back using an adult belt.

www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules/when-a-child-can-travel-without-a-car-seat

"I would do it if I could" "I have therefore chosen not to ERF"

Choosing not to ERF is fine. But it is a choice, you could ERF if you chose, but you don't want to because you've weighed it up. But you could ERF, there are seats for tall kids, my kids are very tall and have ERF to 5.

Own the choice, just like you can own the choice to get a new car to your friends. 'Yes, we could use belted seats, but we are choosing to get a new car. I choose to use isofix because I like it, and it's my choice.'

You can make whatever choices you like. YANBU to want isofix, your friends ANBU to use belted seats. What a luxury of free choice.

I suspect the Excalibur only harnesses to 18kg, though, so if you have a big kid, keep an eye on it.

If the car doesn't have seat-belts, you can transport a child aged 3 or older without even a seat-belt. I didn't know that.

Firesuit- scary, isn't it? Legal doesn't always mean ok, or lowest risk.

Someone once advised me that the most important feature of a HBB was the cupholders. It was to them. The most important feature of a HBB to me was SIP and crash testing to check for submarining. Different strokes for different folks. I was polite, and thanked them for the tip, and didn't get in a disagreement that's down to choices.

They don't all need to be isofix or all not isofix, do they?

As pp have said, Isofix isn't safer, it's just easier to fit correctly. In my experience, Isofix seats are an absolute bugger to get in and out of the car compared to an older child's high-backed booster, for example, and in that case I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, especially if you might switch them from car to car (handy for playdates etc). With a baby, an isofix base is handy because the car seat obviously comes on and off without having to interfere with the Isofix. A belted baby seat is, in comparison, a pain in the arse.

@flakesaretasty out of interest what age did you stop using rear facing seats for your children?

Five and half for my oldest, medical reasons meant they needed a 3 point belt for a few weeks then, rather than harness, and I wasn't aiming for much beyond that anyway. Still had plenty of room for legs, despite being 75th to 90th height centile. If we were short on seats with visiting kids, they could go back in it until over 6, because they were light.

My nearly 4 year old is above 90th centile height, but still on the lowest strap hole, and can't be trusted in a 3 point yet, so will be ERF for a while longer, a long while longer! However, DC2 is chunkier, so may reach the weight limit before DC1 who was 8 before they did.

There is no evidence that isofix is safer than just the belt when installed correctly. The base is there simply for convenience.

flakes you’ve done well. I’m happy with my choice not to ERF, not sure why you think i’m not. I can’t drive a car safely with a constantly screaming child in the back (and he did scream). He found it uncomfortable. Many other chikdren may not. He’a a bit less flexible than DC2 though who I hope will ERF.

I have already said my preference is isofix. My friends didn’t use isofix seats beyond baby stages - I’m not saying we agree on this, I’m just asking for other people’s opinions not sure why you feel this means I don’t own my own decision.

firesuit that’s actually really shocking. If all the evidence is as true as it appears, I wonder how that advice can be justified?

MrsSnooty our 2/4 year olds are in isofix seats where the whole seat remains in the car. They do not have bases.

I am glad you're happy. I wasn't saying you weren't, I was saying own your preferences. You wouldn't have done something different if you could, you could, and you didn't want to, and that's ok.

If you're aware that people can have different choices and opinions, and that's ok, and you're happy with your choice, then why ask 'aibu'? You know you're not, you know your friend isn't, so it's just a non-issue. You want isofix, no one is going to post something that makes you go 'oh, yeah, I don't want isofix'. You've already decided you want it, your friend doesn't. Both are fine.

A belted seat is no less safe than Isofix.

Personally I prefer belted as less to go wrong and you get a much tighter fit.

We have Axkid Minikids which rear ace to 25kg for 3.5 year old and nearly 2 year old.

They are some of the safest car seats on the market and pass the Swedish Plus Test.

They are fitted with a belt and when you wiggle the car seat the car wiggles as they are so solid.

As isofix has weight restrictions a belted seat provides a longer safer option.

People who say 'I'd have loved to have done x, but I couldn't because of y' end up in frustrating conversations of 'oh, I know abc that can solve the y issue!' Then the person who just doesn't want to do x gets defensive and says 'that still wouldn't work, because y is so bad'/'but we also have the z issue', which leads people to try and help solve the y and the z issue, which the person choosing x never wanted solved, they've decided already on z. Do you see? It happens a lot with car seats, ERF in particular, but also infant feeding, cloth nappy use, sling use, all sorts.

flakes I think it’s all semantics. I’m as happy as I can be with my choice. Would I prefer ERF? Yes. Of course - I’d prefer my child to be as safe as possible. However, I’m balancing that against being able to drive safely and concentrate on the road. Which IMO will do more to prevent an accident in the first place. On balance, this is the right decision for us. If I could have DC1 ERF without screaming I’d go for that option - but it doesn’t exist for me.

Maybe AIBU wasn’t the correct place to post this. But I was after opinions / thoughts. You’ve given yours and I’m grateful for it; it just wouldn’t work for us.

And if you can solve DC1’s incessant screaming in an ERF position, I’d love to hear how!

@Enigmasaurus try visiting a ERF socialist such as In Car Safety Center where you can try a range or ERF Seats.

There's a huge variation - some where are higher than others hence have a better view than others.

Also have different methods of fitting so can provide more leg room.

My son is tall - both my kiddies are but they have loads of room for their legs.

The main thing is your the adult and you make the choice to be honest. I personally would never turn my approaching 4 yea told front facing because he was kicking up a fuss as I chose the safety equipment not him.

It's what works for you your family but if considering ERF your best going to a independent place with large selection to find the option your sons most happy with.

Different seat- some are high up giving and excellent view, some are lower down meaning easier to play, some recline more or less, some are more padded... if you have an issue ERF, just as if you have an issue with anything with parenting, really, there will be a whole bunch of people who cannot wait to solve it in some way.

But there's nothing more disheartening than having that conversation, using your knowledge and goodwill, when someone has already made their choice, and is happy with their choice.

If I spend time asking for details of your car, your child, your seat currently, what you've tried, and then suggest a few, are you really going to go to a shop to try them, try them out with your child, big up to your child how great they are, and buy a new, probably non-isofix seat?

I don't think so. So it's easier if you say 'I've decided on isofix, and against ERF'. Because now you have a thread recommending good belt-fitted seats, and ERF seats, but you don't actually want them, because you want isofix, and not ERF! Frustrating all round.

My understanding is that isofix is only safer than seat belts as it reduces the risk of you getting it wrong but as long as you are capable of following the instructions with the car seat, you don't need iso fix. We never bothered.

Isofix is only safer because it eliminates the possibility of putting it in wrong. A correctly strapped car seat is as safe as its isofix equivalent.

We bought isofix bars separately for an old car we had and DH fitted them.

I’m sorry you feel that way flakes. My question was specifically about isofix rather than ERF though. And yes, I am open to some other options - I would consider a different seat for DC1 with ERF capacity if he were comfortable in it. But I would prefer isofix (given 75% isofix seats are fitted correctly compred to 20% without - which makes a massive difference to safety). Our 2 year old is in an ERF iSize seat and i hope to maintain that.

If I’m willing to soend thousands on a new car, I’d be willing to slend a few hundred on a seat. So if / when I can find an ERF seat for a more than 15kg, tall 4 year old that is isofix and that he is comfortable in, I’d take it and lose the current seat / use it without the harness when he’s a little bigger. With 3 kids, you can never really have too many car seat options

spend even ffs

do you see?

Christ OP I have no idea how you’re having the patience with flakes patronising tone! Kudos to you though.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to discuss something, talk it through, even if you already have a leaning/know what you want. As for saying ‘I would if I could’ about a choice made under difficult conditions, I agree it’s just semantics. Yes the use of language may not be 100% accurate but we all know exactly what she means - she could sit through every car journey listening to constant screaming but I completely agree that that would in fact be Ala eish factor that could contribute to causing an accident and therefore more dangerous.