Nothing heavy before bed!

[Bridechilla]

So here I am once again,on MN wide awake when I should be ASLEEP. My OH seems intent on saving the heaviest conversation topics to discuss in bed just as we're winding down to sleep:

Big work deadlines ✅
Family fallouts ✅
Upcoming major life changes ✅

I have asked time and time again not to do this before bed. So as per usual he's now sunk into a peaceful slumber, whereas my anxiety has hit the roof and I'm in the spare bed for another sleepless night.

AIBU?! Who discusses this shit in bed?!

And here I was thinking I could give sympathy to another person who can't eat certain foods hours before bedtime.

As for your problem …. consider giving DH a prod every few minutes so he is aware that you are giving the conversation much due and consideration.

Ooh no MrsCrabby I'm very open minded with midnight snack choices

I used to have this - DH would unload all his worries onto me and then roll over, blissfully at peace while I lay there next to him with worries roiling round and round my brain.

I read somewhere online that this was because bed felt like a safe quiet place where we weren't in conflict so it made space where big discussions could happen. We instituted Sunday Night Business - we sit down with a glass of wine, laptops, online banking, diaries, kids' schedules and that's when the big discussions can happen with all available info in front of us. If he tries to unload now on a Tuesday night I can say "keep it for Sunday Night Business!!"

Hasn't stopped my own rumination - I'm working on that with other strategies like listening to a guided meditation before bed, no screens, etc. But at least he doesn't set my rumination off anymore and we discuss the big things at an agreed time.

My DH does this (or tries to). It's infuriating. Like others have said, he unloads** and feels better, where as I'm left with whatever it was that was bothering him.

I told him (several times in the end I think) about how shit it is for me, and then also just said "not now" when he started, and now it doesn't happen so much.

I like the idea of Sunday Night Business from a PP.

Ive tried the NOT now! And he pauses, then somehow continues "but you know what I mean...."

Xiao that sounds like you've nailed it, alas routine isn't really our forte.

Mine used to wait for difficult conversations/start an argument/raise a problem in the bath so I was trapped and couldn't escape. I told him that this was unfair and he stopped. I would tell your dh that he can't even mention this stuiff in bed, OP, not even a 'Oh, so this happened at work....' or you'll worry and be left sleepless. So annoying!

Mine tends to save something far more unpleasant for when I'm taking a bath

I honestly think this may be a 'man thing' they never let out their thoughts or feelings throughout the day the same way women do and bottle them up, so it all comes out at once and everything is let out into the open but they feel instantly better and can sleep while we, as women, then have to think of all his problems as well as wondering why on Earth they didn't say anything before!

Tonight's topic: suicide pacts
I shit you not.