To be annoyed at my parents?

[Weddingplanningandlovingit]

We're getting married in the new year and we're very excitedly making plans despite it being second time around for both of us. We're mid 40s and I married at 21 the first time so it's been a long time since I did this. I have no children as I'm unable to (tried IVF and failed), my DF has two teenage children. They are very involved in the planning and are bridesmaid and best man.

My brother has a large family and lives a lot closer to my parents than I do. They see my DB and his family every week and see me twice a year at most. It's my choice to live 400 miles away and I accept this is the choice I made.

Fast forward to the wedding. My parents have zero interest in my step kids to be and when we speak literally all they talk about is my brothers children. That's fine, they are their grand children but sometimes it gets boring. I try to get some interest about their visit to us and what could be a lovely family event. They just turn it around to how the children did this or that. I had to remind them of my DSDs name as they kept calling her a similar but different name!!!

AIBU to expect a little interest in me, my DF, my DSC, my life?

YANBU to hope for some interest, but for an older generation at a distance of 400 miles, they probably don't get that these DCs are 'real' and are not yet seen as part of the family.....a bit like a 12 week foetus not being 'real' until the scan has been seen, for some. (And sorry for the insensitive analogy)
They may get better after the wedding. Being charitable, a lot of it could be just due to the distance and if they've never met.
Disappointing for you, though.
Hope this changes after they become real, 3D people.

How often have they met your step children?

They've met them probably six times, enough times to know her name! I don't expect them to treat them like their own DGC just a bit of interest would be nice.

6 times in how many years?

Tbh I don't think it's that unusual to have no interest in something or someone who you have very little to do with.

To be fair I live a long way from my parents and my sister near them. They do the same and they are my kids - their grandkids too. I genuinely think they don't realise they do it and just see my sisters kid's news as an extension of their news.

In three years, that's what I said in my original post - we see them twice a year. I am still their daughter, despite that. Just because I live a good distance away doesn't mean I don't exist or should be taken no interest in. I have friends in Australia who's parents live in the U.K. Who have more to do with them than my parents do.

YANBU My family have yet to meet my partner’s three year old due to distance and only having him every other weekend but still ask about him often and send birthday and Christmas presents

It not you that they're not taking an interest in though, it's two children who they've met half a dozen times.

No @milk it is also me they're not interested in by the fact they are not interested in who and what I spend my life with. Those two children will be their step grand children and even if they've only met them a handful of times they should know their names!

Fair enough they should know their names, but you can't force people to have relationships they don't want. A couple of teenagers who they've had no knowledge of until a couple of years ago and even then only a couple of times each of those years, it's not that unusual to be a bit "meh" about people who you have so little connection with.

My MIL lives 3 miles down the road & couldn't give a rats arse about her step-grandchildren. Neither does SIL or BIL. Pure jealousy in their case. We've been NC with them for 3 years now. Their other grand parents who live half hour away & my dad, who lives 20 minutes away don't give a shit either. DM is dead so has an excuse, but wasn't particularly interested either. Feel sorry for the kids, but what can you do?