To be struggling with pregnancy? **Title edited by MNHQ**

[LatoiyaLondon]

Have had a complicated pregnancy so far. Lots of bleeding, short cervix, threatened pre-eclampsia, minor anomaly on 20 week scan, reduced movements, hyperemesis (etc etc). We've now been told our baby might be poorly, but we can't be sure until results come back so fingers and toes crossed for us (and little one!).

I'm struggling being surrounded by people at work talking openly about their pregnancies and how great they feel, how smooth sailing it has been and how easy pregnancy has been for them (two other pregnant women in my office). Don't get me wrong I am so happy for them, but am quite tired of hearing it when I'm suffering in silence.

How do you get through the tough times? The agonising waits between scans/results, the not knowing and the ever creeping anxiety of a high risk, complicated pregnancy?

I'm not enjoying it at all, and after miscarriages and issues in the past I just can't get to grips with being pregnant and the stress that comes with it.

Would anyone like to advise me on any coping mechanisms? How to de-stress? How to deal with people asking 'how did your scan go?' and freezing because it didn't go so well...

You're not your, sorry!

She is definitely worth the rough time we've had, and worth every second of stress! I'm sure once your baby is here you'll look back on all this worry as a distant memory, I certainly did. The human spirit is able to cope with so much, and we are always stronger than we feel. Dig deep, this won't last forever. Glad you deleted FB, MN is so much better for mental health. I did too and didn't regret it.

YANBU, I don’t usually comment on threads but this resonates with me so much. I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant and struggling so much with Hyperemesis. I ended up in hospital the other week on drips, I’ve exhausted all anti sickness meds and there’s nothing else the doctors can do for me. I’ve been signed off work for weeks and dealing with guilt and pressure because I want to go back to work but physically can’t and I’m barely leaving the house except for appointments. Had a panic attack yesterday at the thought of being sick again and I honestly feel like crying constantly.

Really wanted to enjoy this pregnancy as I was alone with my first and didn’t expect things to be as bad as they are. Seeing friends post photos of themselves looking radiant and enjoying their pregnancies feels like a smack in the face.
Unfortunately I don’t have any advice but just know you’re not alone.

Yes I understand finding it difficult to talk. I'm sure a good friend wouldn't mind though. Maybe.

I found podcasts on my phone good for helping me fall asleep, either ordinary ones or specific sleeping ones. Or try ASMR videos on YouTube (they give me a tingly head and I nod off easily with those). Just put a set of earphones in and press play. I find it helps disrupt my thinking plus also they act to drown out dh snoring! I'll have a think for more things...

With respect to PP, heartburn, piles, vomiting, fanny daggers etc are normal pregnancy symptoms, though not pleasant. If I had to answer ‘how was your scan/test result’ honestly, it would be ‘I’m scared about losing another baby. My cervix is failing and I’m at risk of premature birth’. Not a conversation I could have had with all and sundry. I might not have owed them an ‘everything’s fine’ act, but I didn’t want to bare my soul to everyone either. (I had my DD at 24 weeks, she’s now 14 months and happy and healthy)

YANBU !! Im 41 weeks today with no sign of baby arriving anytime soon and im so fed up. Im huge im hungry and im tired the 3rd trimester really is the worst
One the plus side the pram arrived before the baby did even though i ordered it nearly 2 weeks ago

I was ill throughout my pregnancy and had various complications. I was bedbound for some of it. Obviously signed off work too, which was really isolating and lonely. I coped by sleeping a lot, listening to music, reading, chatting on support forums, ticking off days on my calendar. On better weeks I had friends visit me at home, or sat on the balcony watching the seasons change. It was a bit like being imprisoned for 9 months, with all the stress of whether the baby would be ok. But it was all worth it. My DD is over 3 now, I look back and the pregnancy is a distant blurry memory.

blue I do have to agree. It's really hard when you write a post about how you're worried about your baby, anomalies and whether they are ok or not and someone comes along and moans about being 41 weeks and talks about their pram arriving. I'm worried I might not even make it to the third trimester as this is a real possibility for us. Not meaning to make anyone feel bad but these are the types of comments I struggle with. I am also well aware that I may be being over sensitive as we potentially have a very poorly baby and the not knowing can make you extremely intolerant!

Thanks folks. Laying in bed with hand on belly spending time with my unborn DC. Kicking me like crazy. Feeling extremely emotional and can't bear the wait for these results. Fingers crossed please.

Yanbu at all. I had a shit time with miscarriages and reduced movement and pnd but not anywhere near as bad as you. It was crap at the time though and everyone barring one person has sailed through. I don't begrudge it, but when some said how easy it was I had to walk away. It made me feel that they felt i was being precious. Worse was a friend who had no children who went on about how another was glowing, how she was still working out, how she was happy and just grateful.

Destress wise, i used a combination of hypnobirth, Pilates and writing a private blog (for the dark thoughts) to get me through. Not sure if any may help?

Pnd- antenatal depression even. During pregnancy and after

Good luck for you and your little one I hope you won't be waiting long .

white regardless of who has it worse I'm so sorry you went through that. It's an awful feeling. I've thought about hypnobith but until I know there will definitely be a birth (full term) I'm a bit nervous to. I will down the line though!

Thank you white

If it helps, I used a hypnobirth cd set that were designed from ttc through each trimester. I think it was by Margie Howell. I found it handy, though it made me sad to hear the 1st trimester one again when i should have been on the last at the time. It helped though.

Look after yourself; pregnancy, while an adventure to some, will be nothing but days and nights of pure anxiety to others.