Am I taking this all too seriously?

[Halfblindbunny]

I honestly don't know know if I am being unreasonable or not.

DS is 12 when he was 10 he had a girlfriend she was 11 they spent a lot of time together but it was a typical childhood boyfriend/girlfriend type thing. They may have kissed but it was mostly holding hands and hanging about together within a larger group of friends.
One day he came home from playing out in floods of tears and with the start of a black eye and bruises on his arms. Apparently she had been angry with him playing football rather than talking to her so she attacked him. Several of his friends told the exact same story independent of each other so I was fairly sure it was true. It coincided with the summer holidays and her leaving the school to go to secondary so it was quite easy for them to just stay away from each other and I had a word with her mum who said she would talk to her about it and it didn't suprise her as she had a temper.
At the time I had a long discussion with DS about domestic violence and it was not appropriate to lay hands on another person even if they are family or you are in a relationship etc.
The problem is they have now started to get close again after nearly a year and DS has said he thinks he would like to be in a relationship with her again. Obviously not this was a grown up thing I would be telling him to absolutely stay away and that she had shown her true colours etc but is that really appropriate in this situation. After all we have all done things as a child we wouldn't do as an adult (not that she is an adult yet) but can I really tell him she will always be a bad un after 1 incident between children?
I'm a bit conflicted and I don't want to give him relationship issues that will.follpw him into adulthood.
Any advice?

It sounds like a horrible situation but 12 is young to be boyfriend/girlfriend, I would chat to him and reference your previous conversation about domestic abuse and maybe include the fact that if it was a friend of yours in the same situation you would be advising them to stay away.

As there is nothing stronger than forbidden love though I would be very gentle with how you word things and maybe talk about being friends first.

Also I think you are being very sensible to be worried and are not being to serious at all, it's a very troubling situation.

I don't think I would judge her on that one incident when they are so young. I used to have fights with my brothers but I wouldn't dream of it as an adult.
You have already had the talk about dv, I think I would leave it at that.

I’d also consider helping him find other interest?

adayatthebeach that's a but random! He plays on a football and cricket team, swims several times a week and surfs when the weather is good. He is not only interested in girls and didnt have a girlfriend at all or even shown any interest in girls between breaking up with this girl the first time and now.