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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to consider changing school's for start of Yr6?

60 replies

BristolThenSome · 18/06/2018 13:23

A school I like has a few places available, due to expansion of the school. My daughter is doing ok at school, but fairly middle-stream, both academically and socially/friendships.

Current school has 90 kids per year group. Potential school is smaller, 60 kids per year. So they might no be lost in the numbers, as current school is massive and imo has lost the personal/caring element because it's huge.

Pros: might be a huge confidence boost for final primary year, in advance of heading to secondary.
Cons: Big change when we're already headed towards the big change of secondary.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
MondayNextWeek · 18/06/2018 14:11

I’m another one who doesn’t quite nderstand why you’d want to do this. She’ll be going to secondary school today in a year so won’t that be the change you are looking for?

Original poster
BristolThenSome · 18/06/2018 14:12

@Monr0e
Have her grades started to fall?

....yes. but ofated said that's true of most of the middle-stream kids at her school. Top set are pushed, lower set supported. Middle set, left in the middle :/

OP posts:
CremeBrulee · 18/06/2018 14:12

OP in which case I would leave her where she is. Otherwise she will be forced to join new schools and find totally new friendship groups two years in a row.

I'd focus on a smooth transition into Y7.

Glumglowworm · 18/06/2018 14:13

There will be kids she doesn’t get on with in any class

I wouldn’t move her if she’s happy, settled and doing well at school unless I absolutely had to (such as a house move) especially in year 6

The disruption of moving and being the new kid could counteract any benefit. And in a years time she’ll be leaving anyway so have another big disruption.

YANBU to consider it, you clearly want the best for her which is not unreasonable. But I think it would be unreasonable to actually move her given there’s no major issues where she is now.

MondayNextWeek · 18/06/2018 14:13

And how sure are you that she will get into the secondary school? You may meet the criteria but what happens if they are oversubscribed? Does it then go down to distance?

Original poster
BristolThenSome · 18/06/2018 14:15

@bigKiteFlying

But be glad to get away from few other kids.

I suspect that was why my child seemed to grow in confidence - getting away from some low level stuff from one girl and gang - so low level you couldn't complain but constantly there.

Thank you - you've worded and explained this so much better than I could!!

OP posts:
MollyHuaCha · 18/06/2018 14:18

If she wants to move, I'd let her.

Original poster
BristolThenSome · 18/06/2018 14:22

@MondayNextWeek

It's not based on distance.
Last 5 years admissions data is online.

made up example, using made up numbers:
last year if there were 500 applicants and 100 places. 90 places went to applicants who attended church for minimum 3 years and listed school as their first choice. remaining places went to others who met diff criteria. (400 others didnt meet the strict crietria. could be diff thread tbh, on faith schools and entry...but it's elluded to that the reason it's so strict is so cant just put bum on seat, when me like others suddenly realise we've got to do application in October and have a mini-panick ;) )

OP posts:
MondayNextWeek · 18/06/2018 14:38

I promise I’m not trying to be awkward as I know you are just trying to do the best for your child. What happens next year if there were 120 applicants who went to church for the minimum 3 years. But only 100 spaces.

Seeline · 18/06/2018 14:47

I really wouldn't. Many kids flourish in Y6 anyway - added responsibilities, top of the school etc. I think it would be really difficult to break into established friendship groups at that stage. And surely the right-of-passage trips, shows etc the Y6 do these days won't be the same if you have only known the rest of the year group for 6 months or so.
And then you have the upheaval of a new school Y7. Not easy if she has been really unhappy for the previous year, with a real dip in confidence.
Your main reason seems to be that she is average. By definition, someone is always going to be average. Changing school won't change that if she is working to the best of her ability.

TheRoadLessRocky · 18/06/2018 14:47

I don't think she'll flourish next year, she'll be too busy getting settled in. Focus on helping her to flourish in secondary school.

If she's going to secondary with no primary friends, you're consigning her to two hard years socially. Being the new girl is hard, I did it twice and it's not fun. At least when she goes to secondary alone there'll be a few of them in the same boat.

Also, the end of year 6 is quite a poignant time. They look back over their time in school, laugh at photos from things the did in previous years, recall trips, assemblies, parties etc. She'll miss all that with her current class. Even the classmates who she just muddles along with, the ones that aren't friends but also aren't hated, become part of the nostalgia as she leaves. And even the ones she can't stand, there'll be a camaraderie amongst her friends of 'thank god we'll never see them again'. The last term is usually fun and it'll be so much more fun to do that with children she's known for years.

edshearansmistress · 18/06/2018 14:54

Unless there are really obvious issues, and / or she wants to move, I think it will be pretty mean to move here for one year, then for her have a new star socially again in yr7. She's not failing, she's doing ok, she has a best friend. She can flourish in secondary school.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 18/06/2018 15:39

My DD is also Year 5 and I cannot imagine moving her at this stage. If there are kids who are making things hard for DD is b current I would raise this with teacher now and see if you that can be improved. Your pros and cons list is not at all persuasive.

nononsene · 18/06/2018 16:20

There are too many "mights" and "coulds" in your reasons for moving her. You can't definitively say she'll flourish and the final year of primary is an important year to go wrong.

I moved schools in P7 (scotland), think that's year 6 equivalent, and it set me back massively socially. It took me years to establish a social group.

Original poster
BristolThenSome · 18/06/2018 16:20

if she is working to the best of her ability
Ofsted doesn't think any of the middle-stream is work to the best of their ability according to the lastest short-report. However, I knew that already and have raised it with teacher before. ie. I think alot of the middle-stream are allowed to coast along as low-B-grade students, who in the right environment could easily be A-grade.

I've raised it alot before, thats why I know if we stay we'll get more of the same.

OP posts:
Original poster
BristolThenSome · 18/06/2018 16:22

Thanks for the input ;)
Lots of good points, well made. Cheers :)

OP posts:
cricketballs3 · 18/06/2018 16:30

listed school as their first choice

This is not true - schools do not have access to the preference

auntiebasil · 18/06/2018 16:49

Just done the application for secondary school process. Schools are not told where you put them on your preference list. It is stated explicitly in the bumf you get.
I'm sure you are disappointed that the school is not challenging "middle achievers" enough. Our schools were all hammered by Ofsted for not challenging high achievers enough. I can see how focus on the two "ends" can leave the middle without proper attention.
Which is where your determination and involvement pays dividends for your child. But I would put that focus on extra or super curricular activities to help your child and keep an eye on and interest in what they are doing at school.

Summersnake · 18/06/2018 16:54

Why on earth would you do that....unless the new school has an attached secondary you automatically get in to...if no secondary attached..no utter madness

M5tothesouthwest · 18/06/2018 16:54

As a child who moved in Yr 6 myself (due to a house move), I'd say it's a big no unless the child is v unhappy currently.
It's a huge upheaval and she'd have to go through it again with the move to Yr7.

Toomanycats99 · 18/06/2018 16:56

My dd is y6 now and like pp's have said it's the culmination of all their years at school. There are things they have been looking fo ward to for years. Trips, activities etc.

It seems madness to move if there is no real reason.

Snowysky20009 · 18/06/2018 17:02

You'd be mad to consider this!

LadyPenelope68 · 18/06/2018 17:04

I’m a Year 6 Primary Teacher and my response is do NOT move her. Unless it was a move to secure a place at a particular secondary, or a move because of bullying or another serious issue then a move at this age is just too much. Coming into an established cohort is really hard at any time, but at Year 6 it’s really difficult as bonds/friendships are well adjusted and the dynamics are settled.

Original poster
BristolThenSome · 18/06/2018 18:23

I know school's dont have access to preferences. However afterwards it's published on the allocations data. Copied any pasted this from.different school info but same LEA admissions website:

"160 on-time applications (70 x 1st preferences, 54 x 2nd preferences, 36 x 3rd preferences) have
been received for xxxx School, which has an Admission Number of 30"

OP posts:
Hippee · 18/06/2018 18:35

My friend decided to send her DD (yr2) to a new school next term, as she was really unhappy with some of the decisions the junior school have been making. She expected her yr5 DS to stay put but gave him the option - he chose to change and has already started. Happy so far.