AIBU to struggle with how to approach ‘where do babies come from?’ with my 7 year old?!

[Northernlassie1974]

Argh,
So doing her hair for school she casually asked me ‘how do ladies have babies?’ She’s kind of mentined it before a long time ago, but she was little enough to be satisfied with, ‘ladies have a seed in them that grows to a baby’ she was little enough to accept this and change the subject.

Now she is 7, due to start juniors in September. I truly believe that knowledge is power and that being clued up on it all in this day and age is safest and that not knowing means if anything (can’t think about it!) happened or was said that was inappropriate, they wouldn’t know.

ANyway, she took me by surprise the other morning, I just kind of said ‘oh thats a much longer conversation than we have time for right now as we need to go to school’ she was fine with that and hasn’t mentioned it since, however, I don’t want to shy away from it as I’m uncomfortable or to keep fobbing her off.

What I want to know is, how much detail have other mumsnetters shared with their DC of similar ages? I was thinking ‘daddy has a seed and mummy has a seed and they need to be put together to make a baby’ but I’m not ready to answer ‘how do you put them together?’
Argh, I know I’m being rubbish, would just like to know what the ‘norm’ is. I’m not 100% comfortable the actually talk about ‘sex’ although I know it contradicts what I said at the beginning of this post!!! I don’t want to give too much info but don’t want to sidestep it either.....help!

Daddy puts his penis in mummy's vagina, sperm comes out and meets the egg. They grow inside the womb and then the mummy pushes the baby out of her vagina. We also talked about periods, and consent.

The truth is better than a lie

DS is 8. He knows that women have an egg, men have sperm, and that you have sex to put them together. He hasn't asked much about the mechanics of sex so at the moment he knows it's "something special that grown ups do together to either make a baby or to show that they love each other". He asked if that was how we made him and his siblings, I said yes. He looked shocked "so you've done the sex four times!?" Yes. Four times. All of DC know the proper names for their bits and have their own names for them, they tend to use the correct terms when saying something hurts or asking a question or in medical settings then use their own names the rest of the time.

We've also had conversations about what "suck my willy" means (thanks, other kids at school!), as well as "bumming", "paedo", and "gay"

I've never really done The Talk, we've just always answered all questions in an age appropriate way and then expanded on it as and when needed.

My did is eight, she has known since the year dot pretty much. So has the 11 yo ds.

I just bought my dd a book called The Body Book for Younger Girls which seems to cover everything. She's already read it from cover to cover! Suddenly sprung a question on me about 'those tissues you use when you bleed' on the way to school! (My ds slightly impressed me by then talking to her about tampons..).

Dd not bloody did!

I ace always been very honest with DD. My mother told me nothing and refused to discuss anything. When I started my periods aged just NINE I though I was dying.

It destroyed my relationship with her and when DD popped out I vowed this would not happen to her.
So I've been very open and honest. We all wander round in the morning getting ready with no clothes on. DD and now DS ask me anything and they get the truth. I used accurate words and at age 7 I didn't actually describe sex, I did talk about daddy's penis giving a seed into mummy's vagina.

DD is now 9.5 and has asked recently about sex and knows all about periods as does DS at 6 (he has said he'll get DD some chocolate when her periods arrive!) We are all close and I hope they feel able to ask me anything.

Yeah just be honest use the proper terms as I think it's confusing for them later, In a previous job we delivered puberty sessions for year 5 they all knew everything by then, even if it hadn't cone from parents, so 7 is fine I think, you know her best and her maturity and understanding, you could always contact your school nursibg team they may have some age appropriate literature you could access and hi through together x

This book is very good: www.amazon.co.uk/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Paperback/dp/0763633313?tag=mumsnetforum-21

So glad I have come across this thread

DS is 6 and I am currently pregnant with my second child (very early days, I have only shared it with him, DH and mum)

Last week when I told him that he would soon have a little brother or sister “I would really enjoy a little sister”

Don’tmakemeshushyou thanks for that link, I’ve ordered that book, looks fab!

Thanks everyone, I know, I’ve handled it badly! I’ve always preached it’s best to know from whenever they ask......great in theory but in practise much more tricky! I think I’m haunted by the embarrassment of my mum obviously being embarrassed and I don’t want it to be the same for her!
Right, big girl pants on, will use the book as a basis and read it with her when it comes. I also have a 4 year old dd, so I can use it with her too!

Thanks all!

Thanks glitterglue, I’ll have a look at that one also! She’s going to have a whole set very soon I think!
Thanks everyone, I feel much better about it and good to hear everyone say 7 or younger isn’t too young to know....didn’t want to scar her for life!

When i was pregnant with my youngest ds who was 4 at the time asked how the baby would get out.
I told him it would come out of my privates
"So the doctor will put his hand up your privates, grab hold of the baby's leg and pull it out?"
"Er, no, not if i have anything to do with it"

We used the 'special cuddle' story. Daddy has a seed, mummy has an egg. When they decide to make a baby, they have a special cuddle and daddy puts the seed in mummys tummy. No further datails required but I did show her the youtube video of the development of a baby in the womb from conception to full term. Its a computer generated graphic thing so nothing graphic. Funily enough, we were at the zoo today and we went into the insect house. Dd1 asked why the cockroaches were joined together. I told her that they were having a special cuddle and making a baby. She looked at me and said 'ew'. That was it.

This is a great thread, I'll need to bookmark it. DDs are 6 and it's been a while since we had any facts of life questions - last time I told them about the sperm and the egg, and they did ask how they got mixed together but as my kids were conceived by IVF I felt justified in telling them about that process and not about sex. I did mention that there was a simpler way of doing it that people usually do but that I'd explain that later, and they were happy with that at the time