What age can I leave my children in the car while I shop?

[Tinseltower]

Today I left my 9 and 7 year old i. The car alone for about 15 mins. Windows down, in the shade and mild day. Is this really irresponsible? Car wasn’t hot at all on my return, yet some people think I’m stupid for doing this.

What age would you leave your children alone for a short amount of time?

My daughter was 1 ( she just nodded off after an almighty 2 hour tantrum) and I parked right outside and legged it in for a milk (could see her the whole time) the que took ages someone was messing about with a voucher & a passerby took my reg & I had social services at my door 2 weeks later.

My daughter is now 7 & absolutely not would I leave her in the car. Unsure why anybody would leave their children in the car to nip in Asda etc. Especially at an age where they can just hop out the car & run round with you.

I left my 6 and 7 year old in the doctors car park while I ran in to pick up a prescription. I was away 3 min and my son was hanging out the window, my daughter in my drivers seat. So never again

Mine are 9 and 7.

I often leave them in the car whilst I pop into the corner shop. I wouldn’t leave them whilst I do a big shop. I trust them not to wander off or fiddle with the car - that seems obvious for children of that age without SEN. The biggest problem is that they’re most likely to argue with each other.

I leave the 9 year old home alone up to 30 mins. She’s very sensible and can phone anyone if she’s worried.

This seems to be a thread just there for parents to jump on each other’s choices. I parent my children the way I see fit. If you’re happy leaving them then fine. If you’re not happy don’t!

8 year olds walk to school alone where I live. If they can manage finding their way to school and crossing roads then how can they not be trusted to sit in a car for 10 minutes?

tabathatwichett

Yes that 9 year old is now 28 and a super dad. We had 6 kids and sometimes the younger ones would fall asleep so I would pop into a shop for a few minutes and he and his 8 year old brother would stay in the car with the little ones.

I am agast that you couldn’t trust your 9 year old to babysit for a short time in a busy shopping car park all littlies strapped into their seats.

Why can’t you?

The only reason I don’t let ds2 (aged 8 this week) in the car if I’m nipping in to the shop for a few minutes is because he’s short. He is sensible he would not play with buttons or handbrake in fact he probably wouldn’t take his belt off but if he needed to leave the car and come find me he’s too short to cross the car park alone drivers reversing out of spaces wouldn’t see him. When he’s a bit taller he can stay in the car he keeps asking to.
Wish dd and ds1 would stay in the car sometimes they are 12 and 14 and bicker constantly round a shop.

I left mine at 7 and 10 in the car while I nipped in to buy a birthday card. They chose not to come and were quite happy. Someone must have reported it as the police came round that night...

Apparently they’d said a toddler and a young child but it was obvious from the photos all round the house that the children were older (they were in bed)
The police just said it’s not a good idea, don’t do it again....

I would absolutely be comfortable leaving kids of 9 and 7 in a car for fifteen minutes. If you can't trust your kid for fifteen minutes not to be a dork then you've obviously not taught them any common sense (and need to have a good think about ways to give them more exposure to everyday situations where they need to employ that common sense).

I can't believe the responses here! Talk about snowflake generation.

The people on this thread seem more laid back about letting their children be out of sight
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/preteens/3280188-Going-out-alone

Definitely not before they hit their 30s! Any younger & you don't know what could happen! 😁😁

The police just said it’s not a good idea, don’t do it again....

And have you?

I am agast that you couldn’t trust your 9 year old to babysit for a short time in a busy shopping car park all littlies strapped into their seats

Because a 9 year old child is not old enough to babysit! Surely that's obvious?

I wouldn't (mine are 10 and 8), Sometimes I leave them for about a minute or so while I pay in the filling station or outside a very small shop, but I would never disappear inside a supermarket and leave them at that age. They could mess about with the car, or encounter an unpleasant person. But I have been wondering the same thing, as they HATE the supermarket, even though I get most of my shopping online and they only have to suffer a quick supper shop once in a blue moon!

I wouldn’t do it, but I’m a worry wart. I’d make them come with me.

I don't drive, but in the country where I live, kids are walking to school at 7. Sounds like a reasonable age to leave them in the car as well. Depends on the kid of course. There are kids I would not trust to walk to school alone or be left in a car due to silly/impulsive behavior.

Oh sorry all the kids that have been abducted in the uk must have slipped my mind.

I agree with some posters that in some ways in the car is a greater risk than home alone or out to play- they've got no access to a toilet, drinks etc, and potentially no way of contacting you so if there's a problem they have to cross the carpark on their own.

Agree, the most likely issue is someone accidentally hitting your parked car. It's not super likely but it's possible and might be quite upsetting/worrying for a child.

I wouldn't be super bothered by this if I saw it, though.

I'm amazed at how sheltered kids are these days. I started babysitting at age 10 back in the 70s. Way before cell phones and internet. How ever did people survive!

pissedonatrain agreed. At 14 I was babysitting for three kids under the age of 5, and another family with three (very unruly!) kids aged 4-7. I was left alone all night for the latter family, and the parents didn't get back til either the early hours of the morning or the next morning (as they were at raves). This was in the mid 90's.

I've started letting my 7yo son to have some money and go into a shop to grab some milk or similar, whilst I wait outside. He absolutely loves it as he feels all grown up, beams when he comes back out and asks to do it more often now. But he's very sensible and I trust him.

I'm amazed at how sheltered kids are these days. I started babysitting at age 10 back in the 70s.

Yeah, that's not exactly a good example of parenting from either side though is it? That of yours or the baby sat child! I mean 10 year olds, no matter how mature, lack the ability to behave like adults. They are not emotionally able to adult, and they should not be left to look after other children. 10 year olds should be playing and enjoying themselves, that's how children develop. They don't mature by being left in situations beyond their years. I'm sure you will come back and tell me how fine it was and how you did indeed develop into a fully functioning adult, but at that time, as a 10 year old, you were given responsibility you were not ready to be given. It's hardly a shining example of why we should leave children alone.

Looking after our children age appropriately, ie: not leaving them to baby sit at 10 years old, does not mean they are sheltered. Independence does not come from being left alone or with responsibilities beyond their years.

slinky

Babysitting at 14 is not the same as babysitting at 10!

I would leave them in a car by themselves at the point in time I would be ok with them walking around outside generally by themselves, and crossing car parks by themselves, ie when they are pretty independent. So I guess around 11/12. Definitely not as young as 7.

When they are driving it.

Sorry, to add, for a supermarket shop. Nipping into a corner shop completely different. Also sending the 7 year old into a corner shop while you wait outside is different. You can basically see them most of the time in those situations.

About 37 on MN.