Noisy neighbours!

[Squeezycheeky]

AIBU in expecting some noise has to be expected if you live below somebody, especially if young children are involved?

I’ve lived in old properties in London my whole life. They are noisy. I’ve had neighbours above me who sound like they are moving furniture all night. To be honest this has never bothered me. I’m assuming it’s because I was used to it. I would never have dared complained.

I now have 3 young children and my neighbour downstairs constantly complains. It’s her second property and she visits every 2-3 weeks. I have fitted a carpet, as it is what she demanded and we also discovered it was in the lease. So that’s fair enough. We did try to compromise and ask if we could put in sound proofing and laminate, but she refused. But the complaints are still coming. The only other option is to get my children to tip toe around the house when she is home.

Do people honestly expect silence if they rent/buy a property which is not on the top floor?

YANBU. Just ignore her from now on.

No she shouldn't expect silence.

But when you have a neighbour beneath you I think you should have good carpet/rugs (which you've done) and teach children not to jump/stamp/run indoors. How old are your children? It's hard with a baby/toddler (our downstairs neighbour complained too, we were making her ceiling shake 😳) We moved as it's difficult to keep a small child from jumping and banging.

Do your children wear shoes indoors? If so I'd put them in slipper socks.

YABU. I live in flats and work with the Mgt Company where I live. We get all sorts of ridiculous complaints. You need to rub along in flats. As long as it's not before 8am or after 10pm in the terms of the lease here and it isn't causing a nuisance it's not an issue. Nor should it be.

I used to ask my children not to jump about but that was it.

Tell her to jog on. Are her children all grown and she's forgotten what it's like?

The only reason I'd try and keep it down is if I knew they were on night shifts.

5,3 & 1. All very young. No shoes allowed in the house. Before we fitted carpet I called a few fitters and sound proofing specialists. They visited our property and explained that the carpet would have a minimal effect in blocking noise. I explained this to neighbour but she was adamant she wanted carpet.
When she’s home I feel like I am constantly telling my children off for making noise. It restricts everything. She once asked me if I could keep my children in their bedroom until 9am. She’s retired, in her 50’s-60’s, very wealthy and a real pain. Every time she comes down the freehold are guaranteed to get an email with some sort of demand.
My neighbours all know we will be moving in the next couple of years as this property is too small. We all get along so well, except for our nightmare neighbour. I think I’m just so grateful she doesn’t live here full time.
When we moved there was thick underlay and laminate. There were tenants in my property, she complained to them as well but did not demand anything. Her demands came after our relationship turned sour. Other properties in my building don’t have carpet either.
She expects total silence. I think that is impossible, especially if you purchase a basement flat in an old building.
If my upstairs neighbour gets jiggy my whole living room shakes, I can’t even hear the TV. Me and my partner laugh about it but I wouldn’t dare complain. Also not willing to spend tens of thousands to rejoist walls (think that’s what it’s called)

YANBU I meant

My children are up at 7am and in bed by 7pm. After 7pm I plonk myself on the sofa and there is zero noise.

You have done all that can be reasonably expected. Time to tell her that and to jog on. If she knocks and starts to complain again just shut the door on her.

If she wants total silence she cannot live in flats.

hmm im not sure. i moved into what is basically a 3 bed house but with a one bed flat above. then someone moved in after me with 3 children! i certainly wasnt expecting that. i thought it would only ever be a single person/couple above. clearly not.

She’s requesting a freehold meeting so she can ‘feel in the loop’. We keep telling her there is no loop and to be honest we don’t want to sit in a room with her. We all know she’ll be making demands and treating us like her PA’s. I genuinely think I’m right in my situation. I just can’t understand why people think they can live in silence if they choose to buy or rent a property with another property above them?
@butterflykisses I guess that’s really bad luck. Are they renting/buyers or social housing? But would you expect total silence from above, even if they didn’t have children?

Actually, I would agree to a meeting, having ensured that you are all going to sit there and tell her what an unreasonable cow she’s being. Presumably everyone else is happy/gets along, so show her a united front.

its council unfortunately so didnt get the choice. the people above were fine before (a couple lived here for a year) and tbh they were not noisy at all. i wouldnt exect total silence. then the kids moved in and they seem to have laminate through out and run around jumping and screaming, at one point they even used ride on toys upstairs so it was wheels scraping across the floor all day, thankfully thats stopped. you obviously are thinking of your neighbours and trying to keep the noise down so i wouldnt mind. its the ones that dont give a damn that annoy me.

@butterfkykisses the reason I asked is because surely they are overcrowded so the council shouldn’t have housed them in a one bedroom?
It’s important to be respectful to your neighbours.
@maelstrop we all try so hard to accommodate her so she doesn’t feel like everyone is ganging up on her. So these meetings are very stressful and draining. If she raises noise then I don’t know if I can keep my cool this time round.

unfortunately they are private renting and i believe they are some relation to the LL as cant see how else a LL would rent it out to someone with 3 kids.
sounds like youve tried your best though so i dont think yabu.

Agree with Maelstrop: go to the meeting, but talk about it with your nice neighbours first, to ensure that you present a united front. What else can you do?

Trying to keep young children quiet can put a huge strain on parents. Luckily, you are not renting, and can't be kicked out.

Good luck!