How to deal with man who insists in buying drinks?

[Streambeam]

I used to work in a job which involved quite a lot of after hours socialising. My boss and her husband were generous with the drinks to the point of over the top. He would ask me what I’m drinking, I’d say “thanks but no thanks” to anither round, but he’d then just buy me whatever he fancied and plonk it down in front of me. As the evening wore on I’d sometimes end up with a line of three or four drinks in front of me!! It wasn’t just me, he would do it for everyone (they weren’t short of cash!) so I couldn’t even give them away. If ever I didn’t drink up I was looked upon as an ungrateful holier than though killjoy. Being young and keen to get along with the boss and earn myself a permanent contract, I usually obliged, downing them and later throwing up in the loo.

Eventually I left that job, and it was a relief to get away from the power politics involved. This summer though I know that I am going to be at three events (one work-related, a 50th birthday and a wedding) where my boss and her husband are sure to be there! It’s silly as it’s years since I last saw them but I am all anxious about what to do if he does the drink-buying again! I know I will be put to sit by them. I know it might not happen now the context is different, but I am unreasonably anxious about it and would like some ideas of how to get the message across that no drinks means no drinks (I’m not tee total, I just can’t stomach as much alcohol as they can!) and how do I handle things if he ignores me and buys me some anyway, (without being rude?!)

Do as you did before and ignore the drinks. Let him waste his money. But don't drink them all, just leave them. If he tries to insist, I'd respond that he's not your boss anymore and you are under no obligation to drink if you don't want to. If he gets upset it's his problem, and you can walk away from him.

Ignore the drinks.

It's the only way to deal with them.

Just say no.
If he buys you one anyway just make a throwaway comment like ‘oh that’s a shame, I told you I didn’t want one so this will go to waste. Maybe someone else will like it?’ And just push the glass away.

Stand firm, be polite and don’t be pushed into anything you’re not comfortable with.

You care taking antibiotics

are

Just be honest. If he offers and you want one, fine. If he offers and you don't and he buys you one anyway just ignore it and go and sit with someone else.

Ahh @SoleBizz that’s a genius idea!

Thanks for the advice all. I know I sound a bit pushover and pathetic. I’m just anxious that I won’t be able ti be assertive without souring the atmosphere. I know it’s his fault, but it will LOOK like mine!

Say no thank you no. And if he brings you one say, I said no I’m ok thanks maybe you can give it to someone else, then ignore it

1 Say no. If he buys the drink say said no i cant drink that much i am not a fucking fish!

2 Leave it go to the bar and buy a soda water.

3 Other option take it back to the bar so you dont have to look at i

4 say i cant it doesnt mix with my meds.
5 pass it to your husband knock it on the floor

The best option if he is a twat is just go straight to the bar and get an orange before you even get there Hold on to it like a new born and every time he asks just point to it smiling .

To be honest heavy drinkers rarely notice how much others are drinking after a while. They want others to validate their drinking.

Accept the drink. Tip into the nearest plant pot smile and nod and drive home happily

It will look like his fault, as he would be being a boarish oaf who won't take no for an answer from a woman. Honestly most people with normal empathy would see that.

If you feel like you have to say you're on antibiotics then you'll have to not drink at all even if you'd like one which is a shame.

As above,if you can't be confrontational say you can't as are on antibiotics.

Just keep saying you don't want a drink and if they don't take no for an answer take the drink back to the bar. Don't just drink it because it's there and to save face, don't make yourself unwell.

If you don't feel confident enough to do that take the drink to the loo and tip it away

Good grief. Accept the drink. Stick in someone’s table etc and forget it. Overthinking much.

I used to get this a lot, you have to say you are drinking at your own pace not his.

Don't say you're on antibiotics as that only perpetuates his belief that you should drink at his pace.

The day after a night out ''tease'' him by saying ''what were you like wasting all that money on drinks nobody wanted!''

Do you have anything serious to worry about in your life?

Gosh I'd have to be frank and say to him why are you so intent on me getting drunk?

Tell them you are the designated driver so can't drink.

He sounds simply charming! And like an alcoholic who thinks that if everyone keeps up with him, he's not drinking too much! If you feel you simply can't say no, or he won't take no for an answer, pick up the drink and wander off with it. Dump it down the nearest loo or wander over to the bar or another table to visit with other attendees, put it down and then forget to pick it up when you walk away.

How's that helpful Monty? Really?

Tall, it really isn't that hard to just not drink the drinks if he persists on buying them. His problem.

*insists

It is my position that people who refuse to take no for an answer are not safe to be around.

If this is going to be a regular problem you can ask the bartender or the server not to bring you drinks people order for you. This is not a new problem to them.

For the record, you're specifically taking metronidazole for a tooth abscess. (Metronidazole is the one you REALLY can't drink with)

thebewilderness I absolutely get what you mean about people not taking no for an answer. It makes you wonder if there's something else going on that gives them this arrogance and to be so insensitive. I hope he tips the bar staff well.
He's probably hard work for them too.
Abscesses are awful and on metronidazole you will feel sick op