To feel sad that despite me putting all my energy in making the dcs life's fantastic they still don't keep Kind Regards me

[Whitegrenache]

Seriously my dp works away,I do everything for the children plus work and it's never enough
Tonight he announced he wasn't happy and wanted to leave us

Why do my kids hate me so much
I dedicate all my life to them

Recently been made redundant which is not a massive problem as I have a good payout

DP has told me "don't spunk the money away"!
Also he is going to remove me from our cars insurance
This our only car to get kids to school (rural area)
I have enough money to buy a cheap run around
I will never be beholden to any man

Why am is so upset about his attitude
Kids are taking his side
I'm breaking

Sorry that doesn't make sense

Fuck it's over isn't it

I don't know what I to do

Please help me

The kids shouldn't know enough about what's going on to take sides, but if he is away all the time then he doesn't have to do the discipline etc you have to do with them and as they are children that makes them like him more. Separate the two things. Sounds like you need to split up with him and as he works away kids would live with you. Then work on your relationship with your kids. Which might get better anyway when they are not living with two people who clearly don't like each other.

Sounds so sad. Look after yourself, if you don't no one else will! I'm sure your kids don't hate you. They're probably a bit confused, that's all. Hugs.

He works away and comes home on a weekend
Has no interest in anything that the kids do
When I pulled him up on it tonight he said he is not happy
My kids are tired and grumpy and be my nasty to me

I'm feeling vulnerable that's all

I think this is the end of the road
16 years over

Your kids don't hate you. You're the only one there for them to express their feelings to, the only one who is there to hear them.

Him not being happy is no excuse for not taking an interest in the children. It's not their fault.

Is there anyone who can be there in real life to support you? Friend or family member who could spend some time with you and help with the kids?

My relationship with the kids is fantastic 99% if the time as he is away

I do all of the parenting all of the time

Tonight we have had massive argument and I'm feeling vulnerable that's all

Who would threaten to cancel car insurance to prove a point? I mean how nasty

Jesus I can't believe this has ended this way

I suppose I could have lots of support

It's just so sad how he can give up on us so quickly and without any emotion at all
My dc are amazing
They have fabulous hobbies and are fun loving kids
It breaks my heart that he doesn't see that in them
I am getting frustrated that despite my 100% effort they just see me as grumpy mummy

You sound in shock.

Do you have someone irl to talk to?

But they dont see you that way, you say you have a fantastic relationship with them

No not really

Maybe tomorrow I can talk to my friends

I just can't get around that despite if he hates me ( and I don't know that he does) how can a parent have no interest in anything a child does?
From the simplest things such as school work to a hobby (even if a person doesn't have an interest in the hobby)

They see all sides of you because you're a human being. No one is happy and "up" all the time, that's not real life.

I'm sorry that he's being such a dick. It's really shabby of him, and he's letting the children down massively.

It's not clear why you think your kids hate you?

If you are splitting up they will be feeling very sad and may be lashing out at you because they are closer to you/trust you more. Perhaps they are more scared of losing their dad because they are secure in their relationship with you but not with him? From what you"ve described it sounds like they love you very much.

I offer you a big hand hold. You have done all of the work, with regards to the children and deep down they know this. Car insurance, pah! Have you still use of the car? Because, as I have found out you cannot insure a car twice.

Op you need to take a breath or two as you seem very distressed. Make yourself a cuppa or something and take 5.

Your kids dont hate you they dont complain to their father as he is not interested. This is not your fault keep doing a great job.

You cant make someone be happy with you..but you deserve someone who respects and supports you. Life is too short to accept anything less. From the way you describe your husband does not do this. You and the kids seem happier when hes not around.

Thanks all
I may be over reacting
My ds came to bed with me tonight and got angry that I was sad
Which made me sad
God they are so little and I don't want to upset them
I won't double insure a car
I will buy myself a run around and Insure it myself
I have never ever been reliant on anyone and I won't let it happen
But despite all of this it's so hard for me to see my kids defend their dad and sing his praises
I would never dis him but find it so frustrating remain positive when he is acting like such a wanker

You need to snap out of putting your children in a position to have to defend their dad.

They have no part in this.

Him removing you from his insurance is stupid unless you have points because having a couple on a policy brings the price down.

Leave him. Go be happy on your own. Your kids will learn quickly what a wanker he is.

It's your reaction to being treated badly by your husband and worrying about your kids. It's not an over reaction, I think it's a normal human reaction.

The children won't understand what's going on, and will want things to be "normal".

How old are your children? Are they toddlers or teenagers?

By the way, he wants you to spend your money on a car for yourself. So you no longer have money to fall back on. That’s why he’s saying he’ll take you off the insurance.

Dc are 12 and 9
Fucking Father's Day Facebook posts are making me even more sad.
I will be fine financially as I have at least a years wages as part of redundancy
I have never ever be reliant on a man for money
He will go off to work tonight with not a care in the world
Nothing to prepare or think about a part from packing his bags
Writing this down Is quite therapeutic

Your kids don't hate you. Kids lash out at the people they feel safest with. So if they're giving you a hard time, it's because the know you're there for them. There are probably going to be some difficult time ahead for them.

I'd see a lawyer 1st thing Monday morning.