Oh lord, recent trip flashbacks for me
Three weeks with with OH, I did doubt that we would both make it back in one piece!
Mine was "yeah sure whatever, millions of nonspecific and non workable ideas" too. He also then added in a list of non-negotiable for him, with my preferences eventually getting put aside because he was doing nothing helpful to choose for us both.
Ok this will be ok I thought, whilst thinking, this is not going to be ok.
He had two tasks before we left. I did everything else, absolutely everything.
-
get some dollars as we need them for visa on arrival when we enter the country we are going to
-
get travel insurance for us both, as travel insurance is important go god don't get me started
He did
He kept saying he would, then didn't. His eventual reasons why he didn't actually need to do them last minute
-
why didn't I get dollars (because I m doing everything and you said you would), why do we even need dollars we'll use euros (no this other country will not let you in without a visa and it has to be paid in dollars good god)
-
there is insurance on his debit card (except we used my credit card to book the flights and it only covers delays, not medical evacuation to a country with a hospital when he crashes his motorbike into the sea whilst not wearing a helmet) and (seriously, I could not believe this), he has not fallen down between ice sheets when on a glacier, he forgot all the safety equipment last time and his friends remembered theirs, as they didn't die a cold freezing fall off a mountain death, his friends carried an extra 5kg for nothing and no insurance was therefore needed).
I nearly ended the relationship when he said that.
So
- I got dollars because I knew he wouldn't and didn't tell him I had enough for him too. I asked him what he was going to do because he needed them to get into the country literally until he was next in line at immigration. He may have finally started to wonder after 30 hours of flying and 30 times me telling him, but it only seemed to register then, gently, as I had to then hand him dollars
- I called him the evening before, he started the excuses, I said put your mother on the phone. He's in his 30's and was visiting them. He didn't, so I hung up and called his mother, who was sitting next to him at dinner. This is when I realised she was happy he was now my problem and not his. I said that if he had an accident and needed whatever, I wasn't paying for it and I would just leave him there, or have his body sent to place he really hates, so he needed insurance. Finally his Dad told him to just get it to make me be quiet. Yes, excellent advice from his Dad, stop making me say these things. I booked my own insurance and at midnight he asked me how to for him. We live in his country, his language, his culture. So I told him no.
That was before we even left. I checked us in online and chose seats. I later tried to change the seats so we wouldn't be sitting together.
We had ridiculously quick changeovers in a few airports, I warned him we had to rush or we wouldn't make it, the airports were big, so move. He sat on each plane as they landed and refused to get up as everyone else did because it makes no difference, yes it does, last off the plane is a lost ten or fifteen minutes. He then decided he had to go to the bathroom. I said no time. He went anyway. I said please hurry up. He sauntered. I told him the details for our connecting flights, have him his tickets, he didn't listen and stared at boards after I had already found it. He lost said tickets. His stupid face wasn't recognised by the facial scanners in his own country, I asked security if they could please just keep him.
Then we got there and the fun really started! He knew what he wanted, he wanted to not pay the prices for it. We arrived at a hotel room, all of which I organised, transport, haggling, knowing the price, having currency, after he stood around aimlessly with his backpack in the middle of an island. I was on the terrace, he was in the room. Does the room have a safe he asks. Try looking. Are there towels? Look in the bathroom. Is there breakfast? The guy just told us there is breakfast. Is there an olympic size swimming pool nearby. We're on a desert island with limited electricity and no cars and are surrounded by the ocean, what do you think.
Finally after I couldn't take it anymore, I said please arrange the trip from this island to the next one. These are the names, you need two boat tickets, transport to the boat, somewhere to stay on next island. All the information is in your travel book, which I bought you a copy of in your language, that is all.
That was a fun day:) I sat by the pool drinking from a coconut with a straw whilst he flapped around, forgot everything, asking questions repeatedly to which I said "I'm enjoying my coconut, it's in your book".
He got us as far as the boat, no place to stay when we arrived, literally lost on a desert island. I had to find somewhere as we were on the boat and try to find transport.
He got lost the first evening we were in a small town with two main streets. Everything closes at 10pm. There was a monsoon. He arrived at half past midnight, he was soaked, he had walked for 25km randomly to goodness knows where before thinking to ask me the name of the hotel just as his phone battery ran out, then he fell in a hole.
Fell in a hole.
Arrived back covered in blood, soaked through, lost in the wilderness, completely happy. I fell in a hole!
End the relationship @MagicalMysteryTourer
End it:)