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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About Father's day grrr

47 replies

NoKnit · 16/06/2018 20:25

My husband has just announced it is father's day tomorrow. This in itself is fine but since he didn't even remember mothers day and did nothing to make up for forgetting (our kids only 4 and 2 so can't remind him) I haven't bothered to do anything.

Arghhh I am going to have to get up with the kids in the morning and let him have a flipping lie in and then take them to the park or something for him to have some peace in his shed aren't I?

Grrr wouldn't mind but Sunday is usually my lie in day and I get up every other day when the kids wake at 6 whilst his backside stays parked in bed until 7 (or later on Saturday) because you know, he goes to work. I have the luxury of staying at home with the kids (which isn't seeming like a luxury most days and I have packed in my job for this)

Pfffffft got huge cob on now, I might have to go and eat some cake.

Not unreasonable am I?

OP posts:

Original poster

NoKnit · 16/06/2018 21:02

The argument on the lie in is something I am not getting, Sunday always my lie in day, Saturday is his so on mothers day he got to have his lie in the Saturday before and would have been getting up on the Sunday regardless he didn't sacrifice a lie in. However he had a lie in this morning so I personally think it is a flaming cheek that I have to sacrifice mine.

OP posts:

5inabed · 16/06/2018 21:02

If he has his lie in on Saturdays and did today and you have yours on Sunday then I wouldn't let him have both. Unless if the days were swapped he would give you both for Mother's Day and it sounds like he wouldn't.

Rach5ll · 16/06/2018 21:05

Don't sacrifice the lie in, he gets up to spend time with the kids.
Make a picnic for them all & send him off to the park to spend even more time with them!
Have a nap while they're out

DeputyBrennan · 16/06/2018 21:08

I don't think you are being unreasonable. Not that I think 'tit for tat' is necessarily a great way to live, but I don't think you should go out of your way to change your routine to give him a lie in and 'peace' in his shed when he did nothing to acknowledge Mother's Day, if you don't feel especially inclined to.

I know families do these things differently, but as a child I'm not sure how I'd have felt if my father's idea of a great Father's Day was spending the day away from us, even if now as as adult I understand that that would actually have been a bit of a luxury!

Imchlibob · 16/06/2018 21:10

Of course he can't have a lie-in both days of the weekend. How ridiculous. If he wanted a father's day lie in he should have said on Friday night "I'd like the lie in on Sunday as it's Father's day so you take the Saturday lie in this weekend" - too late to swap now.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 16/06/2018 21:14

Why dont you swap lie in days, so you get a lie in on Saturday and he gets one on fathers day. opps just realised its to late for that

MimiSunshine · 16/06/2018 21:14

Of course you don’t take the kids out.

He made no effort for Mother’s Day so you do exactly the same. If he complains you just say you assumed that was the deal

Grump1 · 16/06/2018 21:21

Guilt trip him. Give him a great day. Show him how it should be done then next year if he hasn’t got the message ...... well you will think of something or come back here for ideas.

Canshopwillshop · 16/06/2018 21:28

I think Father’s Day is all about celebrating being a father therefore spending time with your kids not lying in and being alone in his shed. Go out and spend it together as a family.

Usernameunknown2 · 16/06/2018 21:28

Yanbu. Get him up and have your lie in. Let the kids spend time with their dad.

If he couldnt be bothered for you then i would reciprocate. Maybe then next mothers day he will step up.

lottiegarbanzo · 16/06/2018 21:35

Why would you do anything? Tell him no way about the lie-in. He's had his already.

Father's Day is about spending time with the children. Surely they should wake him up early to show their appreciation?

Why are you rolling over and doing what he says? Is he the boss of you?

LokiBear · 16/06/2018 21:47

Dont sacrifice your lie in. Book him a d the kids tickets to the early morning kids club film at your local cinima and tell him to enjoy the quality time with his babies. It will be the best £7.50 you have ever spent.

Clubcuts · 16/06/2018 21:53

Oh dear god! I'm sorry you sound so massively annoyed and point scoring! I usually get Sunday and it wad Mother's Day do should've got another day.....

It's best you both bloody ignore Mother's and Father's Day and just do whatever's normal for you.

You really do t sound like a together couple!

OliviaBenson · 16/06/2018 22:35

God yeah, buy him Father's Day early morning cinema tickets from the kids for him and them to go together. Genius idea!!

NapQueen · 16/06/2018 22:36

Should have swapped lie ins.

Puffycat · 16/06/2018 22:40

Mother’s Day goes back to the Greeks & Romans and is about honouring the mother goddesses Rhea &Cybele.
Fathers Day started in 1910 cos of a nice bloke.
No contest in my eyes!
Have your well deserved lie in 😉

RedForFilth · 16/06/2018 22:43

Why is spending time with your kids seen as a punishment for some people?
OP still have your lie in as normal. He should have swapped days if he wanted one on Sunday. However I do think you need to let go of the resentment around previous lie ins such as last weekend.

Also, I know this isn't what the thread is about but can you look for jobs? You sound terribly unhappy!

Original poster

NoKnit · 17/06/2018 08:28

Ha love the assumptions that I am unhappy and we are not very together as a couple based on a few words of whinging.

I did get up in the end, mainly because it was already awake and we made him a card but don't worry I'll be guilt tripping him so he hopefully has the idea for next year.

As for the him taking kids out vs a bit of time in the shed to get on with jobs think we all really know what kids that little are just hard work and taking them out on your own, whilst is does give moments of pleasure when you are out and they are enjoying it at the end of the day it is just pretty blooming exhausting. When they are older maybe it'll be different.

OP posts:

LegoBitcho · 17/06/2018 08:36

club you sound as though you haven't RTFT

'Together' couples share lie-ins and OP only got here because luckily MD was on a Sunday. So she'll miss out this weekend and her dh was away last weekend. Yes, how very dare she demand some equality!

OP You shouldn't have let him sleep in.

RedForFilth · 17/06/2018 10:31

But all we see is what you've posted so based on that you sound bloody miserable. Don't write it if you're going to get mardy about what people say.
which isn't seeming like a luxury most days and I have packed in my job for this) makes it sound as though you are unhappy with your choices. I also don't think taking kids out is stressful, just take them somewhere they can run around like the park or something! I find that easier than staying inside!

Clubcuts · 17/06/2018 10:51

But all we see is what you've posted so based on that you sound bloody miserable. Don't write it if you're going to get mardy about what people say.
which isn't seeming like a luxury most days and I have packed in my job for this) makes it sound as though you are unhappy with your choices. I also don't think taking kids out is stressful, just take them somewhere they can run around like the park or something! I find that easier than staying inside!

This!

Clubcuts · 17/06/2018 11:26

@LegoBitcho the n got missed on my post. It read do t but should've been don't!

I don't think they sound like a together couple.

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