Year 6 boy watching porn. WWYD?

[conveyancing]

A boy in DS's year 6 class has been watching porn on his phone and telling some of the other boys, including my DS, about it in graphic detail. I know the mum well and I'm fairly sure she'd be horrified. Should I tell her directly or tell the school?

If I tell her directly I'm fairly sure she'll be grateful, but she might tell her DS who it was who dobbed him in, making things difficult for my DS.

no -go straight to the school. report it to the head directly. it's a huge safeguarding concern

Report to school - as PP said it’s a massive safeguarding concern and need proper investigation.

Poor boy

The same as crunchtime has said, I would not approach the boys parent.

Yep go straight to the school with this please, it's a huge safeguarding concern and goes beyond worries about friendships etc. The risk of several children being exposed to this is another worry.

I think if I knew the Mum really well I'd speak to her first. If she's as horrified as you think, she'll soon put a stop to it. I'm sure she'd be absolutely mortified for the school to be involved. It's so easy for kids to access this sort of thing nowadays, it doesn't make her a bad parent, just maybe been a bit lax with internet settings. It does happen unfortunately.

Report to school. We've had a similar scenario in my school this week which has resulted in social services becoming involved.

Tell the school.

If she’s a friend then tell her also - and tell her you re telling the school.

If it was just your DS he'd shown it to I'd say speak to the mum directly, but as there are other boys affected you need to speak to the school.

Please report it to school (and request they don’t pass on that it was you) not the parent. Massive safeguarding issue and best for your child as well.

If it is anyone in their family grooming the child telling his mum isn’t something you want to get dragged into in my view.

I’d keep your son away from him and no play dates etc until the situation is clear as well.

School
Safeguarding issue massively

Tell the school straight away. And have a chat with your DS.

I don’t agree Violet. It’s not about criticising or blaming her, it’s about keeping her son safe if there is a predator in the family. If it is a male relative and she finds out it could put them both in danger.

It might be nothing, but unless you know it’s best not to wade into situations like this. Better safe than sorry.

@Notevilstepmother what makes you think there's a predator involved? OP said he'd been watching porn on his phone. Most 11 year olds boys know what sex is and are curious and are bound to try and look for it online. That's why it's so important internet access is restricted.

The same thing happened when my son was a similar age, but we didn't know the boy's parents.
We informed the school and they dealt with it.

You need to do the same, because it's not just your son that's seen it, so the other parents need to be informed.

I’m going to go against the grain and say tell the mother. You know her well enough to have a good idea of how she’ll react - she could nip this in the bud without it becoming a moral panic.

i agree with violet. i would mention it to the mum personally.

You have to tell the school - whether the mother would put a stop to it or not it is a safeguarding issue already as your child and others have been exposed to it indirectly and so has the child himself, of course.

There could be grooming to account for this or neglect, but also this is why smart phones for children of this age (or most ages frankly) are a really bad idea.

Really your not sure what to do I never say this and usually think the peal clutchers are off their heads wanting to get ss invloved in a child being told off in the street by
Report report report

Such a different world nowadays. I had to Google "safeguarding" back in our day we'd just say it was a cheeky lad wanting to see some boobs. But yes tell the school not the parent as that's the style nowadays.

You have no idea how she will react she may be firmly in the not my Barry he’s very sensible
And a lot of mums on here have actual same view so barely monitor their children’s phone go to the school

As a teacher, I'd advise you to speak to the Designated Safeguard Lead in the school. This is really important. Other children will probably also have been exposed to what this boy has on his phone and their safeguarding is vital. If you speak to the parents, they will naturally be quick to protect their child and delete everything on his phone. It may also make the boy vulnerable if there are other safeguarding issues in play within the family. Please, please go into school on Monday.

💐 for you. This is a horrible situation for you.

Tell the mum. Do you really think this is that uncommon? Awful, upsetting, disturbing and sad - but definitely not uncommon.

busybarbara but porn is a bit more than some boobs these days isn't it?

cheeky lad wanting to see some boobs

There’s rather more than boobs on the Internet. You’re 3 clicks away from really hardcore stuff. It’s crucial that internet access is carefully supervised for children.

@busybarbara seriously? A 'cheeky lad' wanting to look at boobs!!! Have you ever seen any of the Internet porn available for free these days? 'Boobs' are barely even on the radar! These things are extremely graphic! Often violent and sadistic! Even the more 'vanilla' stuff will be very close up shots of real sex taking place!

This is a 10 or 11 year old boy being exposed to this 🙄