To ask do not to eat chocolate biscuits?

[MrsPepperpot79]

Not in general, but specifically not when I'm trying to persuade an over-tired toddler to eat their lunch?

Toddler had just - literally just - sat down and started eating when DP waltzes in, takes the choccy biccies from the fridge and offers them round. When I say no, DC is eating lunch he says "well you can have one" to which I reply again - no, DC is eating. So he gets huffy, announces "well I can" and then, seeing my face, says, oh, I'm going or we're going to have a row and fucks off. (We have previously had misunderstandings when he interprets my "what are you doing" expression for something much stronger).

I now have had 30mins of tantruming toddler (who now just wants biscuit), and has now fallen asleep having eaten one banana at 11.00 and no fucking lunch. So will be hangry when wakes too.

I don't think iabu in expecting him to not eat biscuits at lunch time - or am I?

Ah. I think your DP is doing toddler mealtimes for the rest of the weekend... Don't do the dirty thing and waltz in with the biscuits though, just have a break from feeding the toddler for a while and enjoy it!

But surely it's the toddler who is behaving badly, not your DH?

Toddler could have had biscuit after lunch, but chose not to, and threw a tantrum

When the choice is:

a) adult eats biscuits in front of toddler, while toddler screams and tantrums and you try to teach them a "lesson" on how they can't always get whatthey want, when all you really want is for them to have a proper lunch before they nap.

or

b) adult takes biscuits into other room to eat.

I would choose b every time.

What a thoughtless idiot.

Would eating lunch all together work? Then this wouldn't (shouldn't) happen.

Sounds like he's not used to dealing with the dc by himself, so has never had to think these things through, first hand. It's always a case of following your instructions. He needs the direct experience.

Reminds me of eating chocolate digestives upside down around my little brother!

He sounds like a grumpy arse but I do think YABU.

I have a 3yo and I will eat whatever I want in front of him and he knows that what I am eating is for me.... and that if he wants something like a chocolate he needs to finish his lunch as those things are not proper food but snacks or treats for if you are still a bit hungry after having eaten an actual meal.
If im eating a chocolate biscuit and he sees me and asks for one id give him one if he has eaten his meal at the right time and finished all the veg... if he hasnt I just say 'no if you are hungry finish your meal and then if you are still hungry you can have a biscuit'

call me old school but im not having any of that.
Adults are different to toddlers and may eat different food.
I dont allow my son coffee or coke yet he sees me drinking it... he knows its for adults.
I have bigger portions than him, may have slightly more chips than id give him at 3yo.
IMO you are just in for a lifetime of tantrums if you shield toddlers from the fact that adults are going to be eating different things just so you dont have to deal with any fuss.

The problem with leaving him to deal with the hangry is you risk him thinking it's fine to just feed the toddler biscuits for a day if that's what he really wants. And to shut him up. Will only work if you either: A. Leave him for a week, or B. Leave him and remove all sweet things from the house entirely. And take any vehicles. And the phone. And shut off the router so he can't order delivery...

Does he ever take a turn at feeding his child? If not then perhaps he doesn't realise how disruptive this kind of thing is.

Piss off out just before lunch next time and leave him to parent.

Maybe your toddler doesn't want to eat lunch because it was only 11 am!!!

I think YABU.

DH and I can eat all sorts while the DC are eating lunch. YABU.

Yeah blame the toddler ffs!

Reservoir I took that to mean she'd eaten a banana at 11am, and then didn't eat any of her lunch at lunchtime because her DP walked in with a packet of biscuits.

He sounds like one of those men you have to deal with as if you had another (volatile) child. So speak to him patiently with an even tone, and pick your moments. Reward good behaviour, try to ignore bad behaviour. That's probably the best way to manage him. If you want to. Just don't make the mistake of thinking you can approach him like a fellow adult or you will get these dramatic flounces...

YABVU for keeping biscuits in the fridge

ReservoirDogs it was 1.25pm. the last thing DC ate was at 11.00, when had a banana...

I may have been a little U, clearly. I would say that usually DC accepts that you can't always have what mummy/daddy have. And I don't allow treats if lunch not eaten - hence why I was pissed off. Not allowing treats is fine, waving treats at overtired toddler and not allowing them is akin to pulling a pin on a grenade...

I think when toddlers are tired you pick your battles, I'm pissed off because this was an unecessary battle that I didn't pick that was thrust upon me.

I think I'll let DP do tea time.

And yes, biscuits in fridge is U. But not my biscuits, so not really my issue if they go all soggy....!

11am for toddlers lunch is fine, lots of nurseries serve it at around 11.30 anyway

Oops - yes I thought the lunch feeding was going on at 11 am.

Ps. Your dh was being a twat whatever time lunch was

@mrsm43s

But surely it's the toddler who is behaving badly, not your DH?

It's completely predictable behaviour for a toddler though, and one that's really easy to avoid.

It's a biscuit ffs

I get it, he's just sparked a fire that didn't need to be lit. I'd be annoyed. YANBU. I'd also eat the rest of the biscuits now too. With a cup of tea.