Who does Fathers/Mother’s Day presents in general

[MrsDylanBlue]

So when my DC were little my friend and I were both single parents and we often used to take each other’s kids to sort presents from the kids for each other.

I also used to sort the kids presents and cards for their father. Even though I hate him the kids didn’t and it’s about them and them wanting to give him something. Now they are older they do it themselves but I do notice considerably more effort seems to go into me than him and his wife (when they were younger she would sulk if they didn’t get her a bday card and present from their part time job/paper round money

Their Dad sorted presents for her when they were too young to.

Now I am a step mum I am taking my DSDs out later to get a present for their dad (my DH) as their mum doesn’t and they have no pocket money and I also sort presents for their mum for Mother’s Day, Xmas and bday.

Now am I missing something here?

You're just a nice person OP.

It's little things like this that show the measure of a person. (And this is why your DC make more of a fuss over you than their DF!)

If it isn't causing you major anguish and you can afford it, it's a great bonding exercise for you and your DSDs- it's a wonderful opportunity to show how reasonable, kind people operate.

I don’t know.

I think about not bothering (for the ex wife) but then I feel guilty for the kids.

Although yday they were moody about it and DSD1 was badgering me to buy her a bracelet which peed me off a bit.

Lots of people do not do anything for mothers or fathers day, that is quite normal, so their mum doing nothing is most likely because they don't do anything, so stop judging just because you do, you're a different person with different views.

For me, kind people show they're kind on any day, not on one day a year when they've been reminded about it in advertising for the month before.

So by all means do some stuff for your DSD's if you want to, but stop linking it to their mum. You should also probably start checking with the children that they and their mum actually want to go along with these holidays, rather than just assume they are all invested in it such that the kids would "feel bad".

My DSDs ask us to get something for their mother on mother’s day I am not judging anyone?

They don’t get Easter eggs from her either.

One of the things I appreciated most as a lone parent when DC were small was that my parents always took it upon themselves to take them shopping to get me a small gift for mother’s day, my birthday or Xmas
They used to make a bit of an event of it - so took them out to eat or for a snack - choose card and paper etc - also gave me a break for a few hours
Once they were old enough to go to a shop with own pocket money they sorted for themselves
Now as adults they spoil me rotten! Perfume, jewellery, handbags etc plus a meal or day out somewhere

As a child myself DF always took us to get something for DM for Mother’s Day - however we were not allowed to celebrate Father’s Day as he refused to accept it as it was not part of the church calendar and had been invented for commercial purposes
We always respected this - then a few years ago I started a tradition of buying him a non-fathers day gift and card just to tell him how much I love him (usually a few weeks before actual date of Father’s Day)