To be pissed husband won’t come to party

[Magpiesarehuge]

Friend who husband likes is having a birthday party. Husband can be a bit anti social and doesn’t really like her husband so has said he doesn’t want to come to her themed party.

Bit disappointed but happy to go on my own. Does this now mean that I can ditch his social arrangements? There’s a christening coming up that I really can’t be arsed with - really just want to say fuck it.

This reminds me of our neighbour. His wife organised a BBQ for the street for the Jubilee. He sat in his garden, literally on the other side of the fence to where the BBQ was because he was ‘anti-social’. I thought it was really odd and quite rude, and I literally could not be married to such a person.

Why doesn't he like her husband? That seems to be one his main reasons for not wanting to go.

Won't there be other people who he likes?

Doesn't he like the friend enough to want to celebrate her bday?

Is it the theme that's putting him off or is he not really a party person?

What is it about the Christening that means you don't want to go?

Why would you think he had to attend your friends party or that you had to attend the christening? Just because you are married you don't have to do everything together.

I do agree that Pissed Off is the correct term though unless you are American OP

I fricken hate parties of any kind. Will only go out of obligation. Sack off christening you got a free pass

Does this now mean that I can ditch his social arrangements

Yes, but as someone else mentioned this can't become a tit for tat response. Sit down with DH and be honest. You have some things he doesn't want to attend and vice versa and it's okay for you both to determine what events you don't attend as as couple. If you do this together you'll avoid causing long standing animosities while still avoiding the worst of the events.

Once you are married you have to do everything together no matter how much you hate it. Men should be towed along to every event, stand silent behind their wives and do what they are told. That is the vow you made; to honour, obey and be miserable as one.

He sat in his garden, literally on the other side of the fence to where the BBQ was because he was ‘anti-social’.

Pull your judgy head out of your judgy bum. He could have long term pain, be autistic, or any of many valid reasons to avoid large group events.

Depends. A social engagement is different to a christening IMO.

i hate dressing up

my dh doesnt go to some parties i dont go to some of his friends/families stuff

noone should be forced

So made it back - had to brave it in my own - bit awkward. Husband has been more than happy to dress up in the past - when it suits him.

Why was it awkward?

You can't force someone to do something they don't want to do.
Just because he has been before, doesn't mean he has to again.

'bit awkward.'

Were you meant to be Laurel and Hardy?

I am intrigued why the theme would be a give away.

Well you can of course do the "tit for tat" thing but is it really a good move? All it does it set the tone for the next party you go to - he can then refuse on the grounds that you didn't go to the christening. And so t will go on.

And yes to pissed off, rather than pissed.

That's sage advice thumbs.
I am still intrigued about the theme op.

*He sat in his garden, literally on the other side of the fence to where the BBQ was because he was ‘anti-social’.

Pull your judgy head out of your judgy bum. He could have long term pain, be autistic, or any of many valid reasons to avoid large group events.*

His wife said he was grumpy, hated people/parties and didn’t want anything to do with it.

Don't go to the christening but be really cheerful about whatever you're doing instead. Make it a positive choice.

I assume the awkwardness was dealing with "where's DH?" "Is DH not with you?" "Why isn't DH here?" Type questions. Do you lie or hurt your friend by being honest that he can't be arsed....

I have a friend who's DH is similar, she makes lots of excuses, generally when he's left it to the last minute to announce he's not going, but then expects her to always accompany him when he had a social occasion he wants to go to, as he relies on her to help him with small talk.

This thread is 5 YEARS old. The christening kid will be in school.