To give up PR for my kids

[PickledOnionSpaceRaiders]

DD1 has autism & SPD and really struggles with school attendance. She was dx 3 years ago.

She's currently been out of school again for 2 months and we are once again for the fifth time being referred to a parenting scheme after Camhs and the school is ignoring me.

What is PR? Personal Relations?

So what would happen then? Would she be taken in to care?

What would that achieve OP?

You know that if you gave up parental responsibility for her she'd be much worse off than she is now with you fighting her corner?

Parental responsibility??

Are you talking about putting your DC into care?

How will that help her?

You mean put your kids into care? Because that would be better for them how?
It sounds as though the professionals are offering what they have got, not what you need. It happens, it enables them to tick the box that they are doing something.

Giving up your Parental Responsibility? You mean placing them up for adoption? Because even if they went into Foster Care you’d still have PR - you’d just share it with the Local Authority.

That is an extreme thing to do and given your child’s needs and age (school age so at least 5) it would be highly unlikely that they’d actually ever be adopted.

Please don’t give up on your child. Push for extra support, call Social Services and tell them you’re struggling and see if there’s anything they can do to assist. What you’re thinking of is extreme and once it’s done it’s done.

How old is DD?

just shocking that the provision is so bad you feel driven to consider it but then again I know how lacking any provision is

Sending you un mumsnetty hugs and

I too have a teen dd with spd asd etc and the education system just doesn’t fit kids like ours

Camhs constantly loses us, we’ve revolved round their system for 8 bloody years getting nowhere fast

We took control on education and removed her from mainstream 3 years ago when she became suicidal, put her in Interhigh and she’s been happy there ever since

How much help and support are you getting? I bet you’re actually a great mum and just need to scream and shout somewhere

If you come over to the special needs board maybe we can give you some more support

I found meeting others who are in the same boat was reassuring knowing others were having the Same problems, sometimes sharing tips

What’s spd?

You only lose/give up pr in case of adoption

How are your other kids doing? Are SS and the school ignoring you because you are a good enough parent who they know will continue to care for your child without their assistance? I guess it's indicative of how much they are stretched and it is shit that resources can't be allocated to support parents to continue to care for their own child (best outcomes are always for kids cared for by family members).

Would another school be more supportive (friends had to move their autistic child because the 'good' school did not support them enough)? Can you get respite care or family help? Can you pay for help? I can imagine it must be incredibly difficult if you can't access any assistance. You just need to keep fighting for your child and yes, maybe play the system a bit so they step up to help.

Maybe a specialist or even residential school if you're struggling?