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AIBU?

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7 replies

Mummyof3monkeys90 · 15/06/2018 19:12

So I have 2 children with my ex partner and we are still very good friends.

He lives with his parents after our break up and has been really helpful financially with the kids.

His brother has a heart condition and doesn't work so lives at home with his mum and dad (DS&DD nan and grandad) His daughter now stays there from Thursday until Sunday every single week unless it's half term then she stays longer.

Now his parents have always had money problems and have begun to rely on my ex for money and my children are more frequently having to miss out because he's guilt tripped into giving them more money.

Here's the bit that REALLY annoys me. His brother did have a temporary full time job and was paying his way. When this job finished his mum and him have been playing on his heart condition so he doesn't have to work ... like driving him to the benefit office claiming he's not well enough to drive ... yet he drives alot himself! He pays £60 a month to his parents for rent. My ex is expected to pay £200 or more and with his bills too there's very little left for the kids or him. The money his brother pays barely covers the food his daughter eats whilst she is there let alone his.

I've got so angry about the situation today as a single mum of 3, I don't have loads of money but I make ends meet. However this weekend id set money aside for my eldest ds father and grandads fathers day, my own father and my ex. Now that money has had to replace the money my ex would of given me for the kids and no one is having anything.

His mother has called me tonight and I was honest and said I've had no money this week because he's had to pay her so much ... She couldn't of cared less.

She sees my kids once a week if she has to come over this way but she doesn't make a special journey. She used to spend an entire day with her other granddaughter ... My children have a few hours at most.

My ex also suffers with very bad depression but works bloody hard to find for his children and this has really upset him. He's worried that standing up for himself will make him homeless.

I am so close to just removing her from our lives because I am sick of my children being 2nd best and it's at a point my daughter went to stay for a weekend (She previously had stayed at least once a month but that has been cut down dramatically because they don't ask to have her) she came home within 6 hours because she's not used to being away from me anymore and just sat and cried. I was then told by her nan when she brought her home "my sister used to do that, then she just didn't get invited anymore) before she walked out the door.

I am so so angry.

OP posts:
Mummyof3monkeys90 · 18/06/2018 17:53

Anyone?

OP posts:
morekidsthanhands · 18/06/2018 19:08

Sorry I don't know if it's hard to read or I'm wiped out from bath time but just a few questions
Does your ex work?
Do you have an arrangement for child support?

NewYearNewMe18 · 18/06/2018 19:14

What is happening at ExMILs house is irrelevant - what is relevant is the maint agreement between you and Ex, everything else is smoke and mirrors. Make it ExPs responsibility to facilitate visits with his mother.

If you have to, go through the CSA. Your priority are your children. what goes on with everyone else is completely pointless thinking about. It has no bearing or impact on you

chickenchip · 18/06/2018 19:14

I agree with @NewYearNewMe18

Imelda03 · 18/06/2018 19:24

I agree with the other posters too. He's a grown man and needs to find himself a home so he can be independent and a good father for your children. Don't make excuses for him or project everything onto his family
(his family sounds awful but still hes an adult).

NewYearNewMe18 · 01/07/2018 20:45

You don't like these grand parents do you?

BarbarianMum · 01/07/2018 20:48

£200 for a month's rent sounds like a pretty good deal to me. Where do you think he could like that's cheaper than that?

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