To not rush out now and pay for ds1's sport - ex refusing due to CM

[theduchessstill]

After 4 years I have finally put in a CM claim. Ex has also just dropped me in it by taking a job working away giving me no time to sort childcare (he has them 2 nights per week). He doesn't usually work much at all, so this is a bolt out of the blue. He has them tonight for the last time for 5 weeks. To date he has paid absolutely nothing, though does pay for ds1's cricket (minimal cost & doesn't contribute anything for ds2's activities.

I have just run a bath when I got a text saying that as I have decided to take his money despite earning 4 times more than him he will no longer pay for 'any activities'. I'm a bloody teacher, not a hedge fund manager. He earns fuck all because he's a 'musician' and won't 'compromise' on what he does. Apparently, as I haven't paid for cricket so far this season (I thought he had paid it - he's always there as he coaches, no one ever asked me for any money) I need to pay tonight or explain to ds1 why he can't go anymore.

I've replied to the effect of 'no', but now I'm wobbling. Ds1 is passionate about it, and why should he miss out. But I'm not sure it will actually come to that. Training is in an hour. I don't want to back down, and I don't want to have to go out again for any reason tonight. AIBU? What would you do?

Can I ask why it’s an issue that he is taking a job somewhere else? I understand it means he leaves you will all the childcare but surely he needs to work?

I agree with LittleOwl, except maybe text your ex first and tell them you'll get in contact with the cricket group leader to find out what's going on. You need to protect your ds, but you don't need to protect your ex. He's probably spun a story of his own, so tell them the truth.

I woukd write to them explaining that you are taking over responsibility for paying for your son as of now, but any arrears are the responsibility of his father. You can also explain that This is because he is only now paying you maintenance having previously considered cricket subs adequate support. Before you send the email show your ex a copy of it. You might find he changes his mind if other people will know what a twat he is, but if he is prepared to.live with the shame of not supporting his child, send the email and cc him into it.

I woul take him to the cricket too, and if someone asks you for the subs, say "Oh, this is {insert Dad's name}'s area, I'm just dropping him here tonight as an additional responsibility as he's gone away for 5 weeks. You can get it from him when he comes back"
That way ds gets to play. Club can have the conversation with xh, when he is there with them.