Can we compromise?

[drdoom]

Me and my fiancée are making a start on our wedding plans and are already upon a stumbling block.
We are keeping it small numbers wise but we can't agree on the location and were wandering if some wise mumsnetters could be the judges

I am from a different country where most of my family live. My fiancée is from the UK.

His idea:
Local church (up the road) and an informal but very nice meal down at our local pub (around the corner).
And of course my family would be flying over for the weekend.

Pros - local, cheap, good food, leaves more money for a honeymoon
Cons - I didn't want to get married "down the road" in a pub I frequent every other week as it just seems quite deflating, accommodation and flights costs vs salaries etc makes it expensive for anyone from my home country to travel and stay.

My idea:
Small wedding in my home country in a lovely hotel who do the whole "package" for a very reasonable price. They do special rates (over 50% off) for any wedding guests staying at their hotel as well.

Pros - lovely venue, good food, my elderly DGGM can be there (she can't travel due to health reasons so would not be able to be there for a uk wedding), the city where the hotel and venue is is a very popular and top rated tourist city where most shops/restaurants etc speak English so anyone coming for the wedding has lots of options of sightseeing, shopping or just having a general look around, everyone I've ever met from the uk who has visited it always comments on how cheap it is (think £1-£2 for a pint) so it would definitely be more affordable for UK guests to travel and stay.
Cons - fiancée is worried people from UK won't want to travel, it will be more expensive but definitely not budget breaking, slightly harder to plan

Fiancée suggested we visit my home country for a week straight after the UK wedding and then jet off for our honeymoon but I feel it's just a way for me to go with his idea.

I'd love to do it in my home country as I know I will never move back there so it would be nice to at least get married there. My fiancée seems put off by the idea and I feel like he would get quite disengaged from the whole planning and organising and would just "go with it" whereas if it was local he would get super involved and be full of ideas.

Any insight?

Could you compromise by having the wedding and honey moon in your home country as you’ve outlined above, then when you return have a blessing at your local church and an informal celebration at your local pub? That way, anyone who can’t travel still gets to be part of the celebration. And you get to wear your dress twice.

People saying is unreasonable to expect DHs family to travel abroad, why isn't it unreasonable to expect that from OPs family?
I’d like to keep posting that comment till someone answers!! I suspect the answer is “because they’re not British and should feel honoured to travel to our glorious country”

Because the OP moved countries how about the wedding in the UK and the blessing in your own one?

His version of the wedding sounds crap. I can see why he wants it where you live and why you want it at home. If he is going to insist can you compromise and have it where you live but have it nicer than in the local pub? Can you (as a couple) help to pay for your family to come over?

It's traditional to get married in the bride's home town Well, that broke down pretty well as soon as it became legal to have a wedding somewhere other than a church or registry office.

because the OP moved countries

I'd just like to point out that I never made the decision to move here I was young at the time and had to follow my parents. Over time I studied here later I met DP and made a home here.
And I don't 100% understand the reasoning behind that statement. We live here and I will never move back to my home country now, but because I was the one that moved to the UK I shouldn't be inconveniencing DP or any of his friends or family by asking them to jump on a 2 hour flight and join our wedding celebrations over in my home country because it's unreasonable of me to expect them to possibly travel any further than down the road to the local pub?

The deal breaker is your grandmother who can't fly for health reasons. Get married in your country so she can be a part of your wedding.