Re party and noise

[Andthenshesaid]

Having a birthday party for my daughter tomorrow. 8-11.30pm. Outside but we are semi rural. Two sets of neighbours but we’re all separated by about 100m of field on one side and woods on the other (I’m in the middle).

I knocked on them this morning to let them know I’d be having a party but music would be off at 11.30 and everyone would be gone by 12. First neighbour was fine. Second neighbour seemed fine but has just knocked to say she feels 11.30 is too late and could we turn it off at 9?!

I said well no not really as not going to have 2 and a half hours of silence at a 16th birthday party. She said her and her husband go to sleep at 9 and she didn’t see the point in knocking if we didn’t care what they thought. I said I was being courteous and giving them the heads up.

I don’t think 11.30 is too late given distance between houses, the last party we had was 3 years ago (13th birthday) and they don’t have any kids to keep awake?!

50plus kids who I assume would be drinking would be fairy loud outside? Why invite so many to the house and not hold party at venue instead?

I think turn it down by 11 to be respectful OP. But they can't tell you to turn it off at 9 that's bloody ridiculous.

Because a venue is expensive. Because under 18s can't have alcohol at venues. Etc etc.
Or maybe OP wants a party at home like she is allowed...

My daughter had her party the other week and we to had it outside. We lit a campfire and everyone sat around it- really calmed the noise down

I knocked on them this morning to let them know I’d be having a party but music would be off at 11.30 and everyone would be gone by 12.

I'm not sure why you knocked and let them know about the party if you were not willing to compromise. What was the aim?

Surely the knocking is to find out if there are any objections. You clearly couldn't care less what they think or feel about it so why did you bother?

Because it’s courteous

They won’t sit there wondering what all the noise is, where all the cars are coming and going from and will have an idea when the noise will stop. Most people I know knock to tell neighbours about parties

We have the occasional very loud party round here.

I'd be delighted if any of them had the courtesy to warn us! I'd also be delighted if they finished at 11.30.

it's a one-off and the OP's been more than reasonable.

Because it’s courteous

I understand that but originally you seemed unwilling to compromise. I lived in bedsits once and neighbours knocked to say they were having a party that would go on very late. I had to be up early for work on the Saturday morning and they said they would take that into consideration, which I really appreciated.

I agree turning the music down at 11pm is fair and reasonable.