to get frustrated by the lack of help from parents?

[Budgiegirlbob]

I'm a cub leader, and last weekend I spent two nights on camp with 40 cubs (aged 8-10) and 6 other leaders. It was very hard work, but we had a great weekend, and the cubs loved it, however by lunchtime on the Sunday we were all absolutely shattered (leaders don't get much sleep on camps!)

We were running slightly late, so when parents started to arrive to collect the cubs, the cubs were lying in the sun with their kit, lunch (buffet style sandwiches, cake etc) was still out on the table, and most of the leaders had just started the take down the 16 tents.

I glanced up after a while, to see most of the parents sitting in the sun, after helping themselves to the buffet lunch! Not one had made an offer of help to get packed up.

I did go over and ask (politely!) if the parents would mind helping to take down the tents, and a grand total of 3 got up to help, the remaining 20 or so continued to sit around eating.

It was a bit of a kick in the teeth after we had spent all weekend looking after their offspring. Or AIBU?

That's very bad manners. I wouldn't dream of sitting around chatting while people were working hard around me to clear up be it your situation, a party I'd attended etc. Some people are very thoughtless and definitely agree that parents forget that you are volunteers!

I'd help tidy though, just not tents, but honestly by the time you've taught me and I'm trying to take a tent down while watching dd2&3 it would cause more hassle.

Kids in Cubs can take down tents but it's too complicated for an adult?

Pull the other one.

Sorry -and I'll just preface this with the fact that I am the secretary for our local scout group so I do know how much hard work the leaders do - but I think YABABU.

In our scouts they usually ask for parent volunteers to arrive before camp or early at the end to assist with erection and dismantling of tents. Therefore if you go as a volunteer - there's an expectation that you'd be doing that.

I don't think it's absolutely terrible that the parents didn't offer to help off their own bat - they may have thought that there was a plan to get the cubs to do it, or other people were doing it later. The time I helped with putting up the tents I was totally useless as the boys were used to get the stuff out of the bags, and as they are huge old tents, everything else required significant brute force which I simply don't have.

Also not surprising that they ate the (presumably leftover) food, and surely better that than it go to waste.

I think going forward you need to either build tent dismantlement into morning activities for the Sunday, or get parent volunteers lined up to arrive early at the end.

Hope you have recovered your sleep from last weekend !

It is disappointing that they didn't help when directly asked and

Yanbu at all. I'm not surprised at all though, it's happening at schools and clubs all over.
I can't understand this attitude that some people have, deeply selfish.
How they can sit there whilst others do the work to benefit all children, I just do not know.

@Semster I love how mnetters assume to know me and clearly I'm wrong to say I don't know how to take a full tent down. If you'd ever seen me with the uv beach tent you'd change your mind. Doesn't mean I can't be helpful in other ways.

hmmmmmmm - I can see both sides, yes they may have been selfish, but you may have been expecting a bit much too.

As you say you have chosen to be a cub leader. I have not chosen to be a tent-taker-downer (my back would not handle it for a start).

If you expect help for something you are running (even as a volunteer) then you need to give a bit of notice - I will then turn up in scruffs and boots, not work skirt and heels - and would muck in on lightweight tasks that I could personally handle without putting myself through pain.

Parents may forget you are volunteers, but perhaps leaders forget parents are not volunteers. If it is expected to be a collective effort you have to get parents to sign up to that... in advance...

I'm that they ate the food!

I helped out loads last camp. Putting tents up, during camp and packing away. As did many others.
But always the rather large majority don't. I felt embarrassed on their behalf!

My exh is one of them. Never fucking helps out despite it being his night with the DC.

thanks for organising it all. I could never commit to it regularly but I am always very grateful to those that do. I hope the CFs at least thanked you sincerely!

I like how rainbows did it. A timetable was emailed out each term detailing which days you were helping. No asking. One turn each round and round. If you needed to swap or not do your day, it was your responsibility to sort.

I can see both sides, yes they may have been selfish, but you may have been expecting a bit much too

Maybe I am, I’m not convinced though. I suppose I just assumed when my kids were cubs (before I became a leader) that it was normal to just muck in where I could when dropping off or picking up from camp. And I certainly would have helped if directly asked.

I hope the CFs at least thanked you sincerely!

They did, to be fair. Lots of messsges on Facebook, saying how much the cubs had enjoyed it, which is lovely and makes it all worthwhile.

I'm with motherofdragons - I have absolutely no idea how to put up and take down a tent (unless it was pop up one I could squash and hope for the best or it came with instructions). However, if I was there I would like to think I would at least try to help - maybe just carry things to the trailer and tidy up rather than waste people's time showing me what to do.