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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who was being unreasonable at the car wash? Light hearted

23 replies

Carwashetiquette · 15/06/2018 12:51

I think DH was being unreasonable. He thinks other driver was. So he suggested I let the mumsnet jury decide (I had to explain AIBU yesterday when I was giggling about snapping and farting)

DH drove into petrol station forecourt and parked near the side of entrance to car wash, partially obstructing the way into the car wash (it’s along the whole of one side, so he was parked along the back of the forecourt at 90 degrees to the actual car wash - you would turn the corner to get into the washy bit)

He went inside to buy a car wash ticket and as he was walking back another driver who presumably already had a ticket drove round to use the car wash. They drove past his car vehicle and had to manoeuvre over the car wash curb to get past (he says the curb bit is relevant).

His view is that he was “queuing” for the car wash and the other driver was impatient (there was no car in front of us.). My view is that the other driver didn’t necessarily know he had gone to buy a ticket and probably thought he was parked awkwardly. In any case, they were already prepared with their ticket so I think were entitled to go first.

I was also being unreasonable as sitting in the back watching baby in car seat and didn’t suggest he parked elsewhere (I wasn’t paying attention to anything except baby 😊) and only noticed when he commented on how “unbelievably impatient” the other driver was

Who was BU?

OP posts:

TryingToForgeAnewLife · 15/06/2018 12:54

He is. The other driver had more consideration then him as he didn't park obstructing the entrance foe others. He got his ticket before DH so was ready to use the wash first

TryingToForgeAnewLife · 15/06/2018 12:54

Foe...for

Sebbies · 15/06/2018 12:54

The other driver probably thought your DH had parked there so went into car wash around him. And if he already had his ticket, I would imagine he should go first.

tryingtocatchthewind · 15/06/2018 12:55

He was unreasonable, he should have parked elsewhere to pay for a ticket.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 15/06/2018 12:56

Well the other driver already had their ticket and were ready to go, soooo, your DH IBU. It’s the equivalent of sitting at a table in a cafe before you’ve been up to order and someone who has already bought their food then not having anywhere to sit.

wandaandthealien · 15/06/2018 12:57

Your DH. If I had a ticket and the car wash was "free", I wouldn't just assume the car parked near was waiting to go in as plenty of people park awkwardly to run in for bits and bobs. Especially if he wasn't actually parked in/blocking the entrance.

Rikalaily · 15/06/2018 12:58

DH was, as you said, the other driver isn't a mind reader and didn't know he was in there buying a ticket. Why should they sit and wait? Your DH could have been in there for seconds or a long time, they didn't know. Your DH could have been someone who was caught short with a dodgy belly, parked up quick and then be sat on the public loo for 20 mins, they didn't know otherwise. I would have manouvered around your car and used the carwash too.

newbiegreenfingers · 15/06/2018 12:58

Tehe, snapping and farting!

I think if I was the other driver I would have assumed the car was parked and tried to go around.

If I was going to buy something at Tescos and the checkout was free but there was a basket on the floor, I would by pass it and go straight to the check out. You can't queue if you're not there in person imo!

SparklySeashell · 15/06/2018 13:04

Your DH was being U and a CF you can't just leave your car obstructing the car wash while you go and get a ticket!

3stonedown · 15/06/2018 13:08

Your DH is unreasonable. I hate when people do this. It happens a lot at my local garage, I tend to get fuel and a car wash ticket and I have to sit behind their car whilst they are still in the queue waiting for them to get a ticket and then use the car wash because their time is more important than mine

I guess at least your DH didn't block in completely.

MissionItsPossible · 15/06/2018 13:08

Am I the only one gloriously loving the fact that a whole heap of “YABU!” is unleashed on an AIBU first post to an unsuspecting partner 😂

MissionItsPossible · 15/06/2018 13:09

^ I’m petty and immature, I know.

RestingBitchFaced · 15/06/2018 14:18

DH is unreasonable. The other man had a ticket first, and your DH should not have parked there assuming no-one else could go before him

wowfudge · 15/06/2018 14:21

Your DH WBU. I used to use the car wash at a petrol station where I would fill up then get a car wash code when I paid. The number of times some tosser would park in the car wash entrance then go and buy a ticket. Annoying.

MereDintofPandiculation · 15/06/2018 14:56

Suppose it takes x mins to wash car and y minutes to buy ticket. DH blocks car wash. DH will take a total of x + y minutes before he's finished, so other guy has to wait x + y minutes.

DH doesn't block car wash. Other guy takes x minutes, but for y minutes of this DH is buying ticket, so DH only has to wait x - y minutes.

So the harm done to DH in having to wait is considerably less than the harm he's planning to inflict on other chap. (Who says algebra has no place in everyday life?)

Of course, if there's a queue at the counter, so y increases to the same length of time as x, then other chap can get his entire wash done by the time DH is ready to start.

wowfudge · 15/06/2018 14:59

And there was I thinking it was just about being courteous - love the way you've set that out MereDint!

Original poster

Carwashetiquette · 15/06/2018 18:15

Thank you for your unanimous agreement!

DH not in the least phased by the YABU and visited the same petrol station later today with a work van this time. This is what he had to say for himself (with photograph supplied):

“Just washed the van, driver in front parked up just before me (totally blocking car wash entrance) he went inside to get ticket. I joined the car wash queue, got out and also went inside to also get ticket. We waited our turn had our vehicles washed and carried on with our merry lives.”

Are there others that do the same then? I’ve never come across such CFery myself!

Who was being unreasonable at the car wash? Light hearted

OP posts:

Original poster

Carwashetiquette · 15/06/2018 18:16

Meant fazed! Not phased

OP posts:

Quimby · 15/06/2018 18:35

Oh that’s asshole behaviour

Does he also try to reserve spaces on public road he views as “his” with wheelybins/traffic cones/ plant pots?

Original poster

Carwashetiquette · 15/06/2018 18:39

No! He’s usually so considerate, that’s what I find odd.

But he says this is how it is done at car washes (as per white car driver later in the day). I disagree

OP posts:

GuntyMcGee · 15/06/2018 18:46

Some asshole did that to me recently. I parked up sensibly and bought my car wash ticket, got in the car and started the engine to move forward to the car wash entrance. Assbadger came around me, stopped in front of the entrance, jumped out and went in to get his ticket.

I called him out at being a cheeky bastard. He at least looked shame faced and said a quiet sorry.

But yeah, your DH was BU.
The person who pays for the car wash first is the first in the queue. Those blocking it before paying are cheeky fuckers.

busybarbara · 15/06/2018 19:03

Whoever gets into the wash first is first. However that does mean you can park in the entrance to it while you get your ticket and he should do this next time

Firesuit · 15/06/2018 19:21

I think that ideally the person who bought a ticket first should wash first, but having said that, in the days when I used petrol station car washes, if I wasn't buying petrol, I would often park my car at the wash. Either at the entrance or behind someone else in the rare event someone else was waiting. (I can think of one wash where I could park next to the wash entrance without blocking it, but that was exceptional.)

It's usually less convenient to park somewhere else while you pay. Often the parking is in front of the shop, which means you have to reverse into traffic coming away from the pumps before driving to the wash, in some cases circling round back to the petrol station entrance to get to the wash. Not difficult to do, but more trouble than just queueing where you want to be in the first place.

I'm not sure that I ever returned to my car and found myself blocking someone who had paid for a ticket before me. Maybe once in my life.

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