Would you believe her?

[WalkersCrisps]

If you started dating a man, and his mum was telling you awful things about his ex and how she didn't like her etc, how would you feel? Would you believe her?

The fact she is a busy body would put me off getting involved with him tbh!

My initial reaction would be one of skepticism..I'd be more inclined to think she believes her son can do no wrong rather than that the ex is dreadful.

I would be wondering how soon she will be slagging me off to anyone and everyone who will listen. No one will ever be good enough for her precious boy.

I am always a bit suspicious of the "crazy ex-girlfriend" narrative. It's almost always more complex than that - either relationships are complex and emotional or someone is explaining their own bad behaviour to you and themselves by exagerating/inventing bad behaviour in the other person.
It's a bit weird that the mother of a new partner is giving this information, what does your boyfriend say? Maybe she really didn't get on with the ex (for fair or unfair reasons) but I think I'd be a bit wary of a mother that kept bringing it up. What's she doing it for? Why does she think you need to know? I have friends who have ex's I've really disliked but I've never felt the need to tell new partners that.

What former said.

I'd be skeptical.

So, are you the new woman who is having to listen to her boyfriend's mother or the woman who has just found that her ex's mother is slagging her off?!!

I'd treat that as a red flag and take a step back.

Nope I wouldn't believe her

I would imagine she said exactly the same to the previous girlfriend too, at some point.

It’s a weird thing to bring up. And bitchy. She may have thought she was being reassuring though, some women still think that we should all be in competition with each other.

I would neither believe her nor disbelieve her at that point.
Some people lie and bend the truth meaning there are exes who are unfairly villified. And then some people are spot on and the ex is a complete bitch.

Has she done in front of your DP? How did he react? I think that’s more of a key thing - she could be taking it upon herself to slag off the other woman to ‘big him up’ to you because she is trying to be well meaning and wants you to like / feel sorry / stick with her son. He could be mortified at her doing it.

But if he’s not and it’s a sign he’s busy telling her the ins and out of every row he ever has with a partner this would put me off quite a lot.

I think it's a nice thing. She's trying to put you at ease and suggest she prefers you

Wouldn't bother me. If she hates the ex, who cares? She's an ex so it's not like the mother is saying those things for no reason.

I'd suspect that the mum is not a very nice women and would tend towards disbelieving her.

Any woman who starts slagging off another women to a virtual stranger is not someone I'd want to get too close to.

I'd be really wondering why on earth I was having this kind of conversation or indeed any kind of conversation with the mother of a man I had only just starting seeing recently.

Well i’d be wondering why a man I was dating was taking me to see his Mum.

Then I’d wonder if that had anything to do with his previous relationship ending.