Don’t want to be the one to decide

[CaliSimple]

Not sure if I can care for my DSD-7yo all day for the entire summer.
Feel terribly guilty to not facilitate DH spending evenings and weekends with his DD...
The issues; no DCs of my own so feeling very intimidated, DH works full time plus commute so a lot of time to fill-need practical advice, what do we do all day for 6 weeks!?
&furious at DH how this situation came about>
Recently married DH and relocated. Briefly discussed with DSDs mother having her longer than EOW, totally great by me, only assumed he would be taking time of work to facilitate.
HE assumed as I work from home I would just have his DD all day, without even asking me. Plus he agreed to this with Ex without telling me, and didn’t let her contact or meet me so she could check herself if this was all ok. Next bombshell was that he was having her arrive in a few hours !

Had DSD for a week so far, she is v happy but Im still feeling overwhelmed. So invited DSD’s mother over with us (and DH). So grateful for how reasonable and understanding she is. many positives to her trusting me with her DD, however having her or not is now up to me, is it childish of me to not wanting to decide where she spends her summer?

He's making good use of you, time for him to face the music.

it sounds like her mother is reasonable and it's dh that's screwed up. getting him to pay for alternative care is a good idea and then decided how much time you want to spend with her. don't feel bad but maybe do mention to her that you loved spending time from her. I'm just thinking from a 7 year olds pov she was told she was with you then it will all change, she might wonder if she's done something. she's old enough to explain to that you need to work and that's why

Spark that's what would normally happen in normal circumstances. But the DM is even coming to stay with her DH for weekends to see dsd or have I misread? See my previous posts.
You couldn't make it up though.
Surely my eyes are deceiving me. Unbelievable. Totally. Maybe I have the wrong end of a very heavy the stick

Stop feeling guilty!

Your husband doesn't deserve it for not consulting you!

Is it too late for her mum to take time off?

How much time could her parents help for?

1. He's a arse for agreeing to this plan with his ex without consulting you, when it affects you more than anyone else. And for only springing it on you hours before his DD arrives. I would have hit the ceiling right then and there.

2. His DD is not your responsibility. When she stays at yours it's supposed to be bonding time with her dad, not a free babysitting service.

3. As others have said, 'working from home' doesn't mean 'bumming around doing nothing being available to everyone'. It's disrespectful to you, and totally impractical for his DD.

Conclusion = tell him where to get off. Do NOT set a precedent for this. If you give in this time, he and his ex will expect free holiday childcare from you forever. Ignore any whinging about it being too late to make other arrangements now. That's his problem, because he should have consulted you first, a LONG time ago. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

I’ve a 7 year old DD and I work from home. This Summer will be a big juggling act of me cramming in work at the beginning and ends of the day plus lots of play dates and family help. My dd being here whilst I’m working is fine for an hour or two. But any longer than that I feel is unfair on her. When I am working with her here I feel like I’m spinning plates. The Summer hols are knackering and take a lot of organising. And my dd is a really easy going, non-demanding kid!
You need to push back on the length of time plus the amount your oh is getting involved. He needs to take time off work where possible. You are not a free babysitter. If you went out to work he wouldn’t be asking this of you.
Also has anyone asked the dd if she is happy with this? Mine would struggle being away from her home, her things, her friends, the cat etc for 6 weeks.

He is a cf.