Any one managed to go NC with a sibling and keep a good relationship with parents?

[Impossiblesituationhelp]

Dsis has been using drugs for the last 20 years at least and subsequently has lurched from one disaster to another. Dparents have, without fail, been ultra supportive and picked up the pieces every time. She is like a leech sucking life and happiness from them but all she has to do is a false apology and a promise that she will turn her life around and all is forgiven. I have always supported my Dparents and tried really hard to have some sort of relationship with dsis, whilst massively struggling more and more to forgive her. After her latest disaster I am finding it impossible to even talk to her. Yet again Parent's are standing by her. Trouble is she lives with them and is on their mind all the time. I cannot bear to hurt D parents as they have to put up with so much crap but I am just at the end of the road with dsis this time. It's been going on too long. We're in our 40s now. D parents should be enjoying their 70s. How do I do this and maintain my relationship with my lovely mum and dad?

I would actually speak to them privately. Tell them you respect their decision to continue offering support but state that you have given up on her and do not want her in your home any more.

They will have to respect that?

Tell them you will otherwise be civil with her when at their house

I'm now very nearly NC with my brother and low contact with my mum. Like you, I just couldn't do it anymore. My brother has MH issues and gets angry very quickly, shouting at everyone, including my DDs, and when I started to see that they were afraid of him I decided that enough was enough. My mum used to expect DH and me to look out for him when she was away and to have him stay with us sometimes. It was literally like having a third DC, except for the fact that he's now 50.

There's also the fact that we had a traumatic childhood, our F was abusive (SA) towards DSis and me, and our brother joined in with that too, although he was a victim too. It's been increasingly hard to be around him at all.

DSis and I remain very close, however, and our DCs are similar ages and love being together.

So for me it hasn't been possible to go NC with my brother whilst maintaining a close relationship with my mum. She pays lip service to accepting how hard it is for me to maintain contact with him, but she constantly talks about him, and makes me feel guilty.

Your parents will find it difficult to understand, but it sounds like you have a good enough relationship with them to move past it. My relationship with my mum wasn't like that sadly. You need to make the right decision for yourself.

I am in a similar situation, OP, so I am following for advice and thoughts. Not really much to add except I am doing it for the sake of my own sanity and also to protect my DC from witnessing abuse. But it is splitting the family apart. Although there is understanding of why I need to do it, there is also sadness. This is what is so hard...not the LC/NC itself, but the effect it has on other members of the family

BarbarianMum makes an excellent point. Do you think your DP's will expect you to look after your S when they are no longer able to

My DH has been NC with both his brother and sister for years and oddly his parents have never even mentioned it or wanted to know why! I find this very odd coming from a very open family and my parents would need to know what's going on. Once we've been at the in-laws and BIL appeared and it was so awkward as they'd never met their nephew before and he asked who they were etc. We were polite said hello then made our excuses and left. Seeing as it's never mentioned by the PIL is been quite easy to be NC and not feel weird about it.