I just want to give up

[LEMtheoriginal]

My eldest dd hates me and is effectively NC I'm repeating history with dd2 and being a shit mum.

My job is going to shit and I can't even function at a basic level.

I can't do this - I tell myself one day at a time but I can't do it anymore.

The pain is physical

Have you tried counselling? If not you can PM me if you want. I can’t say I’ll have any answers but sometimes just a sympathetic ear helps

Even you guys are sick of me. I can't do this

^^ Should make it clear I’m not a counsellor in case it reads like that

You can LEM. It may not seem like it now but you can.

sorry your having such a bad time have you spoken to your doctor ? do you have a supportive partner/ family member / friend you could confide in? if not you could speak with samaratins for some help. I'm sorry things feel so awful for you but I'm sure your daughters love and need you

Sounds tough. Have you got someone in real life you can talk to. If not, the Samaritans are very good.

You can do it. Maybe if communication has been a problem, being really brutally honest with DD2 could help a little.. admit things aren't ideal, you need to start seeking some help/guidance, but you love her, etc. and one day it will get better.

Yes, it's a cliche, but think of all the other times that you've felt like this. You've bounced up from them. You can bounce up again.

If you can identify what’s going wrong, can you find strategies to help?

It's a cycle isn't it I don't really bounce back though I just manage to claw myself back from the edge and I'm running out of energy.

Hope you’re ok OP, bumping this in case anybody else has advice for you

Hello LEM, we’re all so sorry you’re having such a difficult time of things. We’ve had quite a few MNers get in touch with us as they’re worried about you - we don’t think anyone is sick of you at all.

As you know, when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources which we hope might be of some help to your situation. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

LEM, all of us at MNHQ really hope you can get some decent RL support. Please take care.

Just to say I'm ok - I went to the Dr today and was reffered to the mental health team to access help. Sadly I don't think they took me seriously. I am quite angry about it actually. The assessment was a farce and she ended it by telling me she would text me the relevant numbers for me to try to access counselling. She had the audacity to finish the call by asking me if I had anything nice planned for the weekend. Errr that was my trigger actually because I was upset my dd didn't want to see me on her birthday so no I didn't have any fucking plans.

But I'm ok - my dd got in touch and will come over. My relationship with my DP is finally coming to an end after 26 years. He's not a bad man but he doesn't love me anymore. It's sad but I think it might be for the best.

Maybe I need to stand on my own two feet.

I'm still here

Hi
I'm glad you're still standing and have gone for some support. I'm really sorry to hear about your problems

While you wait for counselling please be kind to yourself, we all struggle in our different ways.

I have had a pretty rough time these last few years and finally got some help. Things are a bit better now, but it has been frigging hard work.

A book that really helped me was You can heal your life by Louise Hay.

I hope things get easier for you.

your dds behaving like that are all growing up phases I guess.
one day when they have children of their own they will understand you better.
I dont know how old your dds are but if they are old enough just let them be if they dont contact but be in control of them from away.
you can build your own life now, your dp leaving as well. it can be nice.

Try to remember to tell yourself that you're here and you matter. I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Is there any other family members that you could reach out to? X

Lem- no-one here is sick of you. You’re very loved in these parts. Hopefully you’re asleep by now. I know partly how you’re feeling. Keep going, that brink is a shit to pull yourself up from, I know. I agree that mental health care is crap at the moment. Mumsnet is consistent though x

Bluebell and Misty are spot on.

You can do it LEM. We are always here if you need support or people to talk to or even if you want to vent