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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do you defend your toddlers from dogs not on leads?

567 replies

Flatearthersphere · 14/06/2018 16:39

I have 3 children 3 and under, we often go to the park, on walks to different places, our local reservoir with a play area, picnics etc etc..
Anywsy all these areas say dogs should be on leads but they aren't I would say about 50 percent of the time, not exaggerating but just seems the norm round here.

Anyway I am guessing most people could pick up their toddler if a dog came bounding up to them but I have 3, usually 2 in the pushchair and one walking. I thought this would be OK but I was in a situation a few days ago which scared me.

I had 2 in the pushchair, an elderly woman had a big collie which bounded up to us, on one of those extendable leads and she just let it run up to us, I shouted "please pull your dog away" and picked up my eldest but she just said "don't be silly he's being friendly" and I said "I Dont care pull it away" but she refused and it jumped up into my pushchair and scratched all my sons legs even though I was trying to push it away because I was holding a child.

This isn't the first time I've been in this situation, even me and my husband have struggled when we've been holding hands with all 3 and there was a big pit bull cross or something which knocked one of our toddlers clean off his feet.

Genuinely, how do other people deal with these situations? I feel like I can't ever take the children out on my own and like we have to keep them in the pushchair all the time even if there is 2 of us. I'm finding I am avoiding going out now and it's getting depressing.

OP posts:
Flatearthersphere · 15/06/2018 21:53

Sorry, I guess I am so tired of the idea that I can teach my children who are barely past being babies how to act. The one who is covered in scratches right now and one some lovely medication I'm sure will be traumatised for a while

OP posts:
Gildedcage · 15/06/2018 21:53

Just so you know though some dogs will not move away because you hit put at them and they may encourage an attack. Calm down and consider your reaction to approaching dogs

TheNebulousBoojam · 15/06/2018 21:53

Thesearepearls, muzzled and on leads, but only in public places. Not all the time, everywhere. Please don’t get carried away on a flood of ‘Will No One Think Of The Dogs? ‘

Short leads, no more chasing bikes or runners, snatching food, jumping up at people or attacking sheep, other dogs or random other creatures along with all the other objections that have been made.
Muzzles, no biting. Less fear.
How about just the short leads then? To avoid cruelty to others?

Flatearthersphere · 15/06/2018 21:54

Basically, if the dog jumps up my child, distresses my child and then cannot be recalled and begins to scratch at all then yes I will harm it.

OP posts:
Flatearthersphere · 15/06/2018 21:56

At that point it's already a bit late for me to calm down when my child is being injured Hmm

OP posts:
TheNebulousBoojam · 15/06/2018 21:57

Well, you are making it easier for the owner to avoid the dog being hurt as you are only threatening to attack it if it is too close to your children. Presumably if it is out if reach, it’s safe. That should be simple enough for an owner to understand.

TheNebulousBoojam · 15/06/2018 22:01

Reminiscent of being a teenager in the 70s, where being patted, stroked, nudged, leaned over, cuddled and dribbled over was also called ‘Just being friendly ‘ and the perpetrators didn’t understand why many of us felt uncomfortable or threatened and we were called hysterical or nasty for objecting. Times change.

Thesearepearls · 15/06/2018 22:02

It would be a pretty big unkindness to dogs to insist that they be on a short lead all of the time. They run jump and follow a scent. Would you really want a dog on a short lead all of the time?

I don't subscribe to harming animals tbh. I particularly don't subscribe to harming dogs when they are essentially being harmless.

For sure I have met dogs that should be on a lead. Not many and I've given their owners short shrift. It's never occurred to me to harm an animal and I am particularly concerned that this thread is licensing abuse to dogs.

If you do propose to harm dogs, or enjoy kicking them. there are laws against it. If anyone kicked my dog, I'd be there and take them to court. Harming animals is not okay in my book.

leesmum · 15/06/2018 22:03

My nephew was bitten by a dog 6 years ago, the dogs teeth went through his jeans and wellies and he has scars on his legs....I don't care how nice or playful your dog is, it shouldn't be off a leash in public places. Even now at nearly twelve yrs old and the Same height as me I can see the fear in his eyes when a dog is near!

TheNebulousBoojam · 15/06/2018 22:07

Dog Parks. Run, sniff, dribble, play with other dogs, fight and bite with those who understand and love that behaviour.

MollyDaydream · 15/06/2018 22:10

These if anyone kicked your out of control dog that was jumping at their buggy/child, they would be acting completely legally.

bonbonours · 15/06/2018 22:12

Sweetcheeks I totally disagree with you. My daughter aged 2 was not at all scared of dogs and would go up and pet them. Until the day a massive Alsatian off the lead bounded up to us barking its head off. Despite the fact a small child was screaming with terror, the stupid owner didn't call the dog off, just laughed and said 'She won't hurt you, she just wants to play.' I didn't freak out and tried to laugh it off to show my daughter there was nothing to be scared of.
From that day on my daughter was terrified of dogs and even now at the age of 10 although she's not as bad, she is still nervous of ones that jump up at you.

The fact that a dog is unlikely to attack or hurt a child is irrelevant. It is not acceptable to let your dog approach other people unless you know they want them to. You choose to have a dog in your life. They didn't and should not have to deal with other people's dogs. If I had a pet tarantula you would think it unreasonable if I put it on your arm without asking you and said 'Don't worry it won't hurt you'. Allowing your dog to jump up at people is the same. In particular it is unacceptable for a child to have actual scratch marks from a stranger's dog. If you can't control your dog don't let it off the lead in public.

Gildedcage · 15/06/2018 22:12

I agree with you, you shouldn’t have to deal with a dog running out of control. I have 3dc myself similar age difference and as I say my eldest was terrified. I totally agree that dog owners need to take control over their pets. People should not have to deal with dogs because the owner says “yeah but they’re friendly “

But think about it like this for next time. Dogs are drawn to things that draw their attention. Stay as still as possible, don’t make a game out of your movements. Don’t entice the dog by talking to it or giving it eye contact. Just ignore it continue with what you’re doing. A friendly, family dog will always probably move away because you’re boring etc. If you’re calm the dog is likely to remain calm. Obviously some dogs are out of control etc and I’m not saying this to discharge dog owners but if you look into how you react to dogs you will feel less out of control if this happens again.

lisahpost · 15/06/2018 22:27

“don't be silly he's being friendly"

Tell you what I would have torn her a new one . Dog owners that don’t leash their dogs in public piss me right off .

In answer to your question if a dog comes near my kids I tend to go batshit at the owner and they tend to get their dog and leave .

Dogs should be leashed always in public !

Halebeke425 · 15/06/2018 22:27

ODFO Thesearepearls

I'm not advocating harm against animals. I'm saying in a situation where an animal is clearly about to harm a child (as the one I relayed) reasonable force is necessary and well within the law. Kicking a large out of control dog away from a small child as it's literally about to land on them fits that description.

I'm not responding to you anymore as I suspect you are being purposefully goady and misinterpreting everything being said.

Just keep your dogs on leads in areas where that is specified and call them in if they're running up to strangers. Really not difficult. It is rude and unpleasant to allow your dogs to bark at and jump up on people, or run through picnics! Gilded's advice on being calm and ignoring dogs when you want them to go away is also good, no need to panic over nothing.

lisahpost · 15/06/2018 22:28

And I’ve kicked a fair few dogs that have jumped up at my children. The owners tend to get rather irate but frankly tough shit they should be a more responsible pet owner. I’m not risking my kids getting bitten because some idiot is precious about their pet and won’t use a leash

busybarbara · 15/06/2018 22:32

Of course they're irate if you attack their animals. We as humans should be above that

Thesearepearls · 15/06/2018 22:35

I wasn't responding to you personally Halebake but upon reading your response i went down thread and read your story

your story was I remember the day my dad kicked a large dog as it bounded up to my little sister in the park blush the dog seemed unharmed just yelped and ran away but had he not intervened it would definitely have pushed her down. I think he just panicked to be honest and kicked it away. The owner came running up saying 'he wouldn't have hurt her etc' my dad just said how do I know that?

A possible response would have been to pick your little sister up. Instead your Dad chose to kick the dog. For sure, kicking the dog is a possible response. Just not one that I personally would have endorsed.

TheNebulousBoojam · 15/06/2018 22:36

Human legs are quite short, so to be within kicking distance means the owner has let the dog get too close to a stranger . I’ve never kicked a dog, they are usually faster and have teeth.

Wolfiefan · 15/06/2018 22:37

Leashed in public?
No.
Kept under control? Yes.
Kept out of areas where dogs shouldn't be? Playgrounds etc. yes.
So much hysteria here.
The dogs aren't the problem. Some owners are. Please don't penalise those who train their dogs and behave responsibly.

Thesearepearls · 15/06/2018 22:38

And I’ve kicked a fair few dogs that have jumped up at my children

You sound charming. We should do lunch. I'll get my people to contact your people. .

TheNebulousBoojam · 15/06/2018 22:40

But that’s the situation at the moment, and many of us think it’s not good enough as there are too many dogs being a pita and no consequences fir their owners. Self regulation isn’t working well enough.

Gildedcage · 15/06/2018 22:43

I’m concerned by the advice saying that you should attack an approaching dog.

Yes if you do this to an otherwise friendly dog it will probably retreat. An aggressive dog will not retreat on being kicked. Can I ask what the level of experience is of dealing with dogs that people have who are advising this method of deterrent? I would never do that unless there was literally no option, because acting in this was can draw a response that can otherwise be avoided.

Look into dog behaviour. Not because I agree that dogs should just be milking about but almost certainly you will encounter this again and you will feel better prepared and more able to teach your children with some knowledge/experience

Wolfiefan · 15/06/2018 22:47

No consequences. How many of the people here who have been jumped at etc have actually gathered evidence and reported it?

Lichtie · 15/06/2018 22:52

I like the kicking idea... Next time a kid comes running up to pet my dog ill give them a good kick just in case they might hurt her... Sure the parents wouldn't be irate at all 😉