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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do you defend your toddlers from dogs not on leads?

567 replies

Flatearthersphere · 14/06/2018 16:39

I have 3 children 3 and under, we often go to the park, on walks to different places, our local reservoir with a play area, picnics etc etc..
Anywsy all these areas say dogs should be on leads but they aren't I would say about 50 percent of the time, not exaggerating but just seems the norm round here.

Anyway I am guessing most people could pick up their toddler if a dog came bounding up to them but I have 3, usually 2 in the pushchair and one walking. I thought this would be OK but I was in a situation a few days ago which scared me.

I had 2 in the pushchair, an elderly woman had a big collie which bounded up to us, on one of those extendable leads and she just let it run up to us, I shouted "please pull your dog away" and picked up my eldest but she just said "don't be silly he's being friendly" and I said "I Dont care pull it away" but she refused and it jumped up into my pushchair and scratched all my sons legs even though I was trying to push it away because I was holding a child.

This isn't the first time I've been in this situation, even me and my husband have struggled when we've been holding hands with all 3 and there was a big pit bull cross or something which knocked one of our toddlers clean off his feet.

Genuinely, how do other people deal with these situations? I feel like I can't ever take the children out on my own and like we have to keep them in the pushchair all the time even if there is 2 of us. I'm finding I am avoiding going out now and it's getting depressing.

OP posts:
OneStepSideways · 15/06/2018 15:19

You put a muzzle on a dogs mouth and you remove its ability to defend itself. This has psychological implications and can actually create behavioural problems in otherwise stable and safe animals

But if all dogs were muzzled in public, he wouldn't need to defend himself would he?
I don't think there is such a thing as a 'safe and stable' dog. All dogs are unpredictable and shouldn't be unsupervised around children.

I'm all for enforced muzzling in public spaces. I don't think you should get a large dog unless you have private land or a dog park nearby. Letting it loose in a park or nature trail spoils other people's enjoyment of these places.
I do think people would think twice about getting a dog if the law required it to be muzzled and on a lead.

There's an official dog park near us but annoyingly most owners bypass it and use the main instead (they also disregard the signs in the wildfowl and cafes areas stating dogs should be on leads).

AndhowcouldIeverrefuse · 15/06/2018 15:37

We also have local beauty spots where owners are theoretically supposed to keep dogs on a leash but literally nobody does. Those places have become more like dog parks - you know, dog mess everywhere and dogs racing at you with the owner 100s of metres away having no idea what their dog is doing

My DC adores dogs but has a dog allergy which triggers asthma attacks. Also fear of dogs in general is not completely irrational. Children are hurt or killed by dogs relatively often - I have yet to hear of a toddler or baby killing a dog. And remember all dogs can kill. If you cannot see that I would class you as an irresponsible dog owner.

Wolfiefan · 15/06/2018 15:45

One step are you in the UK? We don't really have dog parks here.
Why should I muzzle my dog? She likes to run through the grass and sniff trees. She couldn't care less about strangers but may greet another dog if it's amenable.
I wouldn't leave her unsuoervised round kids. Mainly because of her size. But when we walk she isn't unsuoervised. She's never out of my sight.

Disco2018 · 15/06/2018 16:14

Muzzle all dogs in public. How about we gag all people that make stupid comments.

Rules for dogs are becoming more and more restricting. I can't take my dog to the beach or a local pond, loads of places require dogs to be on leads. People have dogs and should be able to enjoy the outside just as much as everyone else. We should be coming down on irresponsible dog owners and people that have out of control dogs, not imposing restrictions on good dogs and there owners.

My dog will never approach anyone unless encouraged over. If he does take interest in a child because they are running or have a ball it only takes a word from me and he knows not to approach. He is small, friendly and cute. Yet I see so many kids react in fear to just seeing him run off the lead. I think it's because of parents hysteria around dogs. Most dogs are not interested in kids and are not going to bite their faces off, even a badly trained dog will walk away if ignored.

Allnames · 15/06/2018 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RunningBean · 15/06/2018 16:53

I've got 2 under 2 and a 5 year old, you're best getting the walking one to hold the buggy and standing between the dog and the buggy say something like 'aww that's a nice dog' so the kids don't get scared and if it gets too close stroke it yourself to distract it while asking the owner to call it back.

We've had a few dogs come up but never any issue, DD did get knocked over once by a spaniel but she thought it was funny as she loves dogs and the owner was very apologetic and put it back on its lead.

I have a friend who panics around dogs and her children are terrified of them to the point they cry and get scared if they see one, it's not what I'd want ideally.
If anything they're probably the kids most likely to get jumped on or chased as the dog may think they're playing if they start screaming and running around.

MeyYael · 15/06/2018 17:43

Rules for dogs are becoming more and more restricting. I can't take my dog to the beach or a local pond, loads of places require dogs to be on leads

I wonder why...

SuperMumTum · 15/06/2018 17:47

I've punched a small dog that jumped up on my 1 year old in the past. A proper punch and I'm not ashamed of it. It's not ok for dogs to assault small kids.

Pipp91 · 15/06/2018 17:51

Absolutely pisses me off when people don't have their dogs on leads. And whoever is saying the op is wrong to feel this way is probably one of those who do it! Just because your dog is friendly doesn't mean it's ok. I'd use the collar and hold it back. Or inform them if they don't come get the dog you will use reasonable force to remove it away from your children.

See it all over the news. Dogs attacking children in parks. It's not okay.

Pipp91 · 15/06/2018 17:53

There's ways to teach kids to be around dogs. By being on leads. Ffs it's like Saying not to be scared of walking in the road with freely passing cars. Wonder what people will say who are Saying it's fine when a child ends up pulling or touching the dog in a way it doesn't want and then see how the dog reacts when it ends up biting or worse.

Pipp91 · 15/06/2018 17:54

There's plenty of fields around to allow your dog off lead. I know of many by me. But in a family place. No.

snufflehuff · 15/06/2018 17:56

I've told someone I'd kick their dog if they didn't restrain it. That worked.

hamptonmummy · 15/06/2018 18:07

I'm a dog owner but my dog is never allowed off his lead & even on his lead never allowed to approach anyone unless they specifically ask to stroke him. My children rumble around with our dog & play allsorts of wild games with him but know never to approach another dog without asking owner etc it's just sensible curtious responsible behaviour x

ChocOrCheese · 15/06/2018 18:08

It is a criminal offence to allow your dog to be dangerously out of control." Dangerously out of control" is if there is a reasonable supposition that the dog will injure a person or assistance dog. If the dog actually bites then the law will presume the dog was dangerously out of control. Aggravating factors include where children are present. Any dog owner who does not heed any signs of fear from others when their dog is off the lead is gambling with their criminal record and the life of their dog. Announcing that the dog is friendly is not good enough, imo, and most dog owners have a woeful grasp of their dog's body language.

lifeinthelastlane · 15/06/2018 18:10

Think about an animal often the same size as you if not bigger on its hind legs running up to you. Why should a small child not be nervous? And the dog is not meant to be just under your supervision, it's meant to be under your control This includes being able to recall it on demand. The woman in the OP gives dog owners a bad name.

lifeinthelastlane · 15/06/2018 18:12

Xenia, what happened to the dog? I bet the owners would be massively pissed at the dog walker for allowing that to happen given the potential repercussions for the dog.

Wolfiefan · 15/06/2018 18:18

You don't need to have a dog on a lead if you have decent recall. That said there are still places I would avoid. The local park when kids are playing football and the skate park when it's heaving.
The law says that a dog must be under control. It doesn't have to bite. People just need to feel intimidated.

Octonautstotherescue · 15/06/2018 18:28

If you go to the bother of keeping a dogs do it justice and take it to puppy classes and train it. Nothing nicer than a well behaved dog.

If you can’t be bothered to do this then simple don’t have one - actually training it should be compulsory.

It’s still an animal and therefore unpredictable. Telling someone Rover wouldn’t hurt a fly doesn’t reassure someone when it’s bounding up to them.
Dogs can appear huge to small children and very frightening.

There’s a lot of selfish people about - the type that won’t pick up after their pet and genuinely don’t care if their dog is unruly.

Dogs should have a purpose - assistance dogs, guide dogs, police dogs, gun dogs, sheep dogs. Not some out of control yappy thing off the lead.

Oh and next time report it. 101 took a keen interest when our DC were knocked over on in the park and the owner did nothing. Apparently the dog had attacked someone the day before. Could be a toddler next.

minniebirdy · 15/06/2018 18:41

Dogs have by law to be under control at all times in a public place. This usually means they should be on a lead unless very well controlled. If not you can report them to police who can prosecute the owner or carer.

mumwithatum · 15/06/2018 18:48

Sorry I think I’m missing something here... as a dog owner you take your dog to a place that clearly says it should be on a lead... you choose not to and therefore your dog runs up and scares a small child. And you think that the parents and the child are in the wrong???? Wtf? You may think that your dog is in the running for best behaved dog ever but why is ok for you to completely ignore the rules and then get arsey when someone complains about it? My kids were brought up with my parents dogs but were still terrified if a dog tried to jump up at them. To be fair if there was an animal bigger than me bounding towards me I think it’s quite reasonable to poop yourself a little and try to get away. It’s a natural reaction for self preservation. And just because your darling fur baby is “friendly” it doesn’t mean that all dogs are so why would I teach my child that they have to tolerate a strange dog that potentially could hurt them just to avoid hurting its owners feelings.

manicmij · 15/06/2018 18:50

Some dog owners need training. If a sign in a public area says "on lead" then that's what it means. If a dog scratched my child in the way you described I would be asking for details, taking photo and reporting. The sign is probably part of a by-law and will be legal. My view and been a dog owner for 30 years. Absolutely no excuse for allowing this to happen.

Padstowonthames · 15/06/2018 18:51

As a runner I sympathise OP. I'm wary of dogs and have numerous times been run at and jumped at by dogs, causing bad scratches which have bruised. To my mind, allowing your dog to do this is similar to assault. The response is normally 'he's just playing'! So entitled and ridiculous.

Wolfiefan · 15/06/2018 18:53

Yep. On lead means on a lead. Not an extending one. Not a longline. Keep your dog on a short lead.
And "friendly" isn't actually a great quality in a dog when it comes to strangers. Respectful is more appreciated. Bounding up to someone and leaping over them isn't friendly. It's rude.

winniestone37 · 15/06/2018 18:54

Attacks by dogs isn't as common as you think, I suspect your reaction is making things worse. The advice of folding arms and turning your back is excellent. Also if you can ask the owner to call the dog off. I totally agree that you shouldn't have to out up with a dog running at you but to proclaim all dogs must be kept on leads is ridiculous. Dogs are part if people's families and bring valuble comfort to people's lives. They have a right to run around in the correct spaces.

Dukesmama · 15/06/2018 18:56

I have a seven stone dog, I would never let him any where near a child let alone a push chair, as much as I love my dog I would never 100% trust him around a child mainly because the parents around here think it's OK to let their children jump onto my dogs back.
I would not of been as calm as you if someones dog had scratched my child.