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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

13 month old in day care

10 replies

Aorus123 · 14/06/2018 14:11

Dear ladies,
I need your suggestion desperately. I am a first time mum I live away from family and friends. Basically different country. My DD is so used to being with only me and my husband, I am planning to work, I need some adult conversation and mind working. I am trying to settle down DD in nursery in Peterborough she doesn't seems to settle at all. she gets too overwhelmed and throws up in the nursery and constantly cries. after this settle in session I met a lady gave me bad review about nursery but, I feel its a nice place as its close to my house and staff also looks nice. I am not in any pressure to get a job financially. Its all mentally I just completed my Masters degree now I feel I should start. I am 29 and 2 have one exp. I am in whole dilemma of being stay at home or start working and send DD to nursery.

OP posts:
TasteTheBloodyRainbow · 14/06/2018 14:27

How many settling in sessions has your DD done?

Are you open to other options such as a child minded/nanny/au pair?

Di11y · 14/06/2018 14:31

How many sessions has she been to? It will take time. I'd read their Ofsted report and take 'reviews' with a pinch of salt. IME if you think the workers in the room are good/bad, the rest is less important.

ThisCannotBe · 14/06/2018 14:38

It will take time. Just try to ease her in gently. Start with one or two half day sessions a week.

Rockandrollwithit · 14/06/2018 14:40

Don't give up yet, it may take a while for her to settle. If you feel like the nursery is a nice place and have no evidence otherwise, ignore the opinions of others.

My DS1 was in childcare from roughly the same age. He's now almost 4 and absolutely lovely and well adjusted.

Aorus123 · 14/06/2018 14:48

ofsted report is outstanding. she had 5 sessions doesn't seems to settle. I really want to work I dont wan to give up now! as well, cant see lil one sad.

OP posts:
TasteTheBloodyRainbow · 14/06/2018 14:51

Five isn't much at all Smile what does her key worker seem to think? Have they given you any suggestions?

It may sound daft, but have you been sending her in with something she associates with you? Like a scarf or something she might find comfort in?

It's really early days though.

Aorus123 · 14/06/2018 14:56

I am planning to send her toy with her. her key worker could manage her for 2 hours one day she said she cried constantly. Thanks for your honest encouragement makes a lot difference to me :)

OP posts:
JaneyEJones · 14/06/2018 15:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TasteTheBloodyRainbow · 14/06/2018 15:09

I think persevere for a bit longer Smile they really should be working with you closely to help her settle in. I'm sure others will be along with fab suggestions soon!

My DM (I was about 17 months) always used to wear a necklace with a charm on it. Each day she used to give me the chain to wear, and she kept the charm. I think the idea was that I then knew she had to come back, because I had the chain to put the charm on. Probably not the best idea for a 13 month old, and I'm not sure how good her understanding is, but it's another idea I guess!

Don't beat yourself up. If nursery doesn't work, it doesn't work. There are other settings and childcare options.

Bluebellsagain · 14/06/2018 15:34

My dd was in full time childcare from the age of 7 months. What’s the worry? Lots of 13 month olds are.

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